How much to cut it into small pieces and feed it to the hounds?

Fuck no, that’s way too much.

I’ll pay $801 to pet the cat!

Am I expected to pay or be paid the $800?

How long do I get to pet the cat, and do I need to clean up his poops?

Am I receiving the $800 or paying the $800?

I wouldn’t pay any amount of money to pet a cat. But I would gladly pet a cat if I was paid any amount of money.

Depends wether I’m paying or being paid. Also what type of cat? That could be anywhere from a tame kitten to a fully grown tiger

This sounds like a trick. Are you going to sell my organs?

I can pet my own cat for free

The word ‘cat’ doing a lot of heavy lifting in that sentence…

Yes, I would accept getting paid $800 to pet a cat. I’d take less, but now that you made the offer I’ll just take that offer.

A lot of men pay $800 - or even more! - just to pet a pussy.

But paying for pussy just ain’t my thang.

I accept your offer of giving me $800 to pet this cat named Jim. That should cover my travel expenses. When we doing this?

I have my own family cat and he won’t ever leave me alone ever and hates when I leave. His name is guy and he likes to cuddle and purr on me or in my arms now and distrusts my mom so much so that he doesn’t even let her hold him. She is the real owner of the cat.

Keep the money, I’ll just pet Jimmy for free

You wouldn’t download a cat.