Thanks for succinctly and precisely explaining why I really dislike her.
I’ve tried to explain why to my wife, but I feel like I’ve always missed the mark and she has implied it’s probably a mixture of misogyny and/or racism. Which still may be true I don’t really know. However, next time it comes up, I’ll point out that I dislike her for the same reason I dislike rogan.
You really didn’t need to admit that you probably don’t like her because she’s a black woman. If you don’t say this to your wife when adding the joe rogan bit, then you’re being dishonest.
I am so looking forward to a Lemmy user who is black and a woman to tell you that Oprah sucks. Whoever you are, please do us that favor. And if there aren’t any black women on Lemmy… well, there should be anyway.
Which is fine. I probably gave it more emphasis on the side point that the main point. But OP did admit that his wife pointed out that his comments have a misogyny and racist tone, and OP said that maybe that’s true. That’s it.
“Oprah sucks because she’s like Joe Rogan”
Ok.
“And if someone thinks it’s racist and sexist, it maaaaaay be true.”
wife pointed out that his comments have a misogyny and racist tone
First you’re putting words in my mouth. She never said anything about my tone making her believe that, but that my dislike might be misogynistic and/or racist. I believe this is because I wasn’t explaining my position well, so without a good reason, it opened the door for that possibility.
Second,
“And if someone thinks it’s racist and sexist, it maaaaaay be true.”
Not ok.
It’s a good thing that I’m open to the possibility that I’m biased. This is not something to shit on. I don’t get why this is such a bad thing. Bring open to being wrong is how you grow.
Your original comment was not clear enough, at least not to me, but now that I have the full context, I see that you’re not some racist/sexist asshole. But of course, it was wrong of me to accuse you of that in the first place without asking you to clarify. I’ll do that from now on.
You really didn’t need to admit that you probably don’t like her because she’s a black woman.
What do you mean? I don’t believe this to be the case, I believe I don’t like her for the same reason I don’t like rogan, and the last I checked he isn’t a black woman. Recognizing that I may have internalized biases that fall in a blind spot of mine is not an admission of anything nor is it something anyone should be shitting on.
But you did say “my wife thinks my comments have a mix of racism and misogyny, which is still maybe true.” How does that paint a good picture in any way?
But I stand corrected and I admit I had a knee-jerk reaction.
I am being honest with myself: I may have internalized biases that I’m not consciously aware of. There’s nothing to reconcile here as these two statements are not mutually exclusive or even contradictory in any way.
Unfortunately, sexism and racism is so rampant from men (conservatism is ingrained into many men as a form of masculinity) that well-intentioned men who criticize toxic and exploitative capitalist women (esp women of color) are immediately lumped into that group of degenerate men. The reality of it is, Oprah is a toxic influence on women and gets off on creating FOMO among her impressionable fanbase. She created Dr. Oz and Dr. Phil, the former of which has had disastrous effects on women’s health esp nutrition because he’s a quack and pretends to be an expert on all things medical, and the latter of which oversimplifies most psych concepts to the point where laypeople think they’re qualified psychologists now.
Thanks for succinctly and precisely explaining why I really dislike her.
I’ve tried to explain why to my wife, but I feel like I’ve always missed the mark and she has implied it’s probably a mixture of misogyny and/or racism. Which still may be true I don’t really know. However, next time it comes up, I’ll point out that I dislike her for the same reason I dislike rogan.
You really didn’t need to admit that you probably don’t like her because she’s a black woman. If you don’t say this to your wife when adding the joe rogan bit, then you’re being dishonest.
They didn’t?
I am so looking forward to a Lemmy user who is black and a woman to tell you that Oprah sucks. Whoever you are, please do us that favor. And if there aren’t any black women on Lemmy… well, there should be anyway.
Which is fine. I probably gave it more emphasis on the side point that the main point. But OP did admit that his wife pointed out that his comments have a misogyny and racist tone, and OP said that maybe that’s true. That’s it.
“Oprah sucks because she’s like Joe Rogan”
Ok.
“And if someone thinks it’s racist and sexist, it maaaaaay be true.”
Not ok.
Two things.
First you’re putting words in my mouth. She never said anything about my tone making her believe that, but that my dislike might be misogynistic and/or racist. I believe this is because I wasn’t explaining my position well, so without a good reason, it opened the door for that possibility.
Second,
It’s a good thing that I’m open to the possibility that I’m biased. This is not something to shit on. I don’t get why this is such a bad thing. Bring open to being wrong is how you grow.
Understood, and you clarified in another comment.
Your original comment was not clear enough, at least not to me, but now that I have the full context, I see that you’re not some racist/sexist asshole. But of course, it was wrong of me to accuse you of that in the first place without asking you to clarify. I’ll do that from now on.
My man. Good on you. We can all learn from this admission.
One of the best ways to come to the conclusion that you need to better yourself in some areas is to be open to the idea you might have a bias.
But acknowledging you might have a bias does not mean it’s there and you’re OK with it
And not liking someone who is part of a marginalized group does not always mean a bias either.
What do you mean? I don’t believe this to be the case, I believe I don’t like her for the same reason I don’t like rogan, and the last I checked he isn’t a black woman. Recognizing that I may have internalized biases that fall in a blind spot of mine is not an admission of anything nor is it something anyone should be shitting on.
But you did say “my wife thinks my comments have a mix of racism and misogyny, which is still maybe true.” How does that paint a good picture in any way?
But I stand corrected and I admit I had a knee-jerk reaction.
I wasn’t trying to paint a good picture, I was being honest.
Then be honest with yourself for once.
You say:
How do you reconcile that with “maybe I’m being racist and misogynistic”?
I am being honest with myself: I may have internalized biases that I’m not consciously aware of. There’s nothing to reconcile here as these two statements are not mutually exclusive or even contradictory in any way.
Unfortunately, sexism and racism is so rampant from men (conservatism is ingrained into many men as a form of masculinity) that well-intentioned men who criticize toxic and exploitative capitalist women (esp women of color) are immediately lumped into that group of degenerate men. The reality of it is, Oprah is a toxic influence on women and gets off on creating FOMO among her impressionable fanbase. She created Dr. Oz and Dr. Phil, the former of which has had disastrous effects on women’s health esp nutrition because he’s a quack and pretends to be an expert on all things medical, and the latter of which oversimplifies most psych concepts to the point where laypeople think they’re qualified psychologists now.