Background+rant: I’m in my early to mid-20s and still living at home with my dad. I’m not a NEET and am employed at a normal office job. I enjoy the comfort of my home. I like being with family (and I believe they feel blessed to have their kid at home longer). I like not having to pay rent. However, I also keep feeling some nagging pressure to “grow up and leave the nest”.
Everything in my mind tells me that moving out is irrational. I would lose 1/3rd of my income to rent, go through a bunch of logistical hoops to find a new place, lose the last few moments I have with my family, just so I can prove to nobody that I’m independent, maybe discover new things, and also probably get in on some of that loneliness action that the rest of my generation is going through.
Yet, the pressure is still there. No one looks down on me for it, but I feel a bit embarrassed to tell people I’m living at home, like I’m admitting failure or incompetency. My friends will occasionally ask when I’m planning on moving out and the question just lingers longer than it should in my head. I compare myself to my parents and grandparents and can’t help but feeling like a child compared to the people they were when they were at my age.
Obviously quite conflicted on this, so I’m interested in seeing what others have to say.
I’m in a similar situation and know the feeling.
Part of the problem is that I live in Bristol. My city is in the midst of a housing crisis and is currently the second most expensive place in the UK behind London to live in. Renting a small studio or one bedroom flat can cost between £1000 - £1400 a month depending on how central you wish to live and good luck actually getting a reply from a property agent. That income isn’t going towards a useful asset, and the idea of paying over half to two-thirds of my take home pay on a filthy-rich parasite landlord’s mortgage for a tiny apartment makes the idea of home ownership a pipe dream. That’s if I could even pass the credit checks necessary. I don’t have debts, CCJs or a CIFAS marker to worry about. My only point of failure is that I don’t earn enough to be able to pay the exorbitant rents in my city.
Being a single man in your twenties (I’m in my early thirties so that’s even worse) who can’t rent or buy your own home is a social death sentence. Society negatively judges you for it and I’m annoyed to see people still pretend it’s no big deal.
I am by no means a NEET. I work full time and am on a £30k salary. My problem is that I am undateably unattractive and have had a lot of problems with dating for various reasons. This basically means I do not have the advantages of having a partner to live with nor access to joint loans which would nearly double our purchasing power. My living situation certainly doesn’t help and it’s a vicious cycle.
The fact that reality TV shows like “Young Dumb and Living Off Mum” have been made to effectively ridicule our generation and paint us as lazy troglodytes should tell you what societal attitudes are like.