it has been incredibly cold for the past 4 days, but thankfully i have new clothes so it hasn’t been very bad in practice

  • stel@beehaw.org
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    2 months ago

    pretty alright so far! i’ve been busy but the workload should be light for the rest of the week. also i get a break next week which is nice [:

    • Evkob (they/them)@lemmy.ca
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      2 months ago

      We got a ton of snow today and for some reason my boss decided not to close the café I work at. We served fewer customers today (from 7:30 to 16:30) than we’d serve in an hour on a typical day.

      All day the staff kept looking at him like “None of us wanted to come in and you’re just bleeding money, why are we doing this”

  • BevelGear@beehaw.org
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    2 months ago

    A lot has been going on in my head lately and I think I need to calm down. Just last week I’ve finally ended my 20 years of fluctuating depression/suicidal thoughts and actually want to live and do something with my life. This world and everyone and everything on it is absolutely beautiful. Yes, there are thorns, but that’s what makes the blooming rose even more beautiful.

    I don’t know who I am or where I’m going, but damn it, life is one hell of a ride.

    But seriously, I do need to calm down.

    Nonetheless, I truly wish everyone to have a pleasant life. It’s hard, man. I don’t know who you are, but I feel you. In my opinion, we are all astronauts on this spaceship called Earth, so we might as well try to get along.

  • its_me_xiphos@beehaw.org
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    2 months ago

    Starting a ye olde Dragon Age: Origin playthrough after a few years of being away. I miss oldschool Bioware.

  • Alice@beehaw.org
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    2 months ago

    My best friendship might be over, I don’t know. I thought about letting him drift off but my therapist convinced me to reach out. He said he doesn’t want to talk about it, and I asked if he means not tonight, or not all. He just said “I don’t know”.

    I ain’t gonna pressure him, but that was his last chance.

    I tried to make other friends, I joined this Meetup group I was really excited about. Waited ages for it. Had fun for the first several hours, and we were already talking about future events, and then it came up that they’re all conservative.

    There’s very little else on Meetup and most of it has “sponsored by the church of Scientology” buried at the bottom of the text. I’ve just been trying to hit the gym and be productive around the house since then. Kinda sucks because I need to finish unpacking but I have so many gifts and mementos and photos with people who moved on.

    • PaddleMaster@beehaw.org
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      2 months ago

      You will meet your people.

      This timeline makes things more complicated. Have patience and be kind to yourself.

  • melp@beehaw.org
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    2 months ago

    Hi hi. I’m new. My best friend recently lamented how they wished we could have one normal year for once. I shook my head and wished the same with them. I live in SoCal. Started taking antidepressants on the election week last year and wasn’t sure if it was side effects or I was just sick from the results. After two months it was evident I needed a dosage adjustment. The week I upped my dosage my home ended up half a mile from one of the LA fire evacuation zones and 14 families of friends lost everything. SO… all in all I am not sure I’m ever going to know if the antidepressants are working. As my other friend on antidepressants said, “Melp… you picked a crazy time to start fixing your mental health.” Anyway, hey. Glad to finally be here with you all.

    • Pete Hahnloser@beehaw.org
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      2 months ago

      Welcome. I wish it were under better circumstances. I know well the pain of trying to find the right meds – it can take years and is unlikely to be useful if treatment-resistant. I’m not going to make suggestions, as you’re likely just finding out whether an SSRI/SNRI is working, I will point out that the purpose of U.S.-based medicine is to make sure you never get better and have to keep paying because, somehow next month …

      • melp@beehaw.org
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        2 months ago

        Thank you. Definitely hear that on the western medicine model. Hoping I’m not medicine resistant but a lot of my friends are. Honestly, not looking for a miracle. Just some friggin wiggle room.

          • melp@beehaw.org
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            2 months ago

            I’ve heard raving reviews with some of my friends on mushrooms. I am currently on lexapro. The initial dosage wasn’t doing shit for me but this new adjustment seems to perhaps be lifting the curtain. If all else fails I’ll give mushrooms a try.

              • melp@beehaw.org
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                2 months ago

                Lol I uhh… when I was a teenager I was taking them a lot. One fine night I was admiring the full moon from a park by my house and then it popped into my head that the full beautiful bright moon might also be a meteor coming in for the kill. Worst trip ever, lol. I haven’t done a full dose since. That being said, I did micro dose on a chill countryside trip to Colombia and that was ok.

                • Pete Hahnloser@beehaw.org
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                  2 months ago

                  Set and setting. You’re going to have a completely different trip based on your mindset and physical location. I tripped a few times in college, but that was just for fun and a minor ingredient for my drug use at the time. Therapeutic use is quite different, and I reorganized my whole apartment ahead of my first trip to make sure nothing around me could make it go bad.

  • plactagonic@beehaw.org
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    2 months ago

    Good! Unfortunately I found out that sleeping outside isn’t possible in the mountains so I cut my stay there and got to Valencia. I hope that weather here will be better for camping so I will save on accommodation.

    For now I have rode just 500km so about 9500 still to go…

  • Toes♀@ani.social
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    2 months ago

    Kinda poorly, I broke a dental filling and had to pay around $450 to fix it.

  • Lime Buzz (fae/she)@beehaw.org
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    2 months ago

    Terrible, dealing with racists in beehaw’s foss community has drained me.

    Apart from that, taking a few days to rest as a lot has happened, including that in the last few days.

    Wishing Lemmy had proper blocking, but as far as I know it’s just an ‘ignore’ button meaning all the racists can still see my posts.

      • Lime Buzz (fae/she)@beehaw.org
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        1 month ago

        It doesn’t seem to be sadly as people are still arguing the point that it wasn’t and ignoring that actual black people weighed in too.

        If Beehaw is dedicated to keeping that kind of person around I think I’ll leave as I’d rather not be around people so dedicated to upholding such things.

        • Pete Hahnloser@beehaw.org
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          1 month ago

          Let’s take a beat. Musical reference, not violence. Your post was discussed at the sort of length among the mods that usually results in a new pope. But having seen the screenshots, this is grievance, not racism.

          If you truly believe we are an unwelcoming community, there’s a very simple solution. The admins are among the best people I have met in my life in terms of moral character and ethics and are, indeed, the reason I wanted to join this community. I highly doubt that the theoretical community you want exists.

          We’re all on edge. Ascribing that to imagined malice violates the ethos of this instance. I’d mention Hanlon, but there also isn’t incompetence in play. This is you inventing drama that is not useful to the community.

          Please reconsider whether this is a good approach to take with other humans.

  • alfonsojon@beehaw.org
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    1 month ago

    I’m not doing well. Extremely upset due to politics and unsure how to manage my feelings of dread and inaction. I need to do something, but I don’t know what.

    Might organize a protest some time soon. Never done that before.

  • confusedpuppy@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    2 months ago

    I had a nice weekend which was needed. Met up with a friend to go to a techno party. One guy who came and danced with us for a while called us cute. I’m guessing he saw us having a good time enjoying the music and talking to people and it seemed like he enjoyed our vibes. It was a super nice compliment for both of us though.

    After the party my friend and I went back to her friend’s apartment to chill until the morning when I could catch a train back home. We talked and shared music while she sketched away. It was so chill and a nice way to unwind.

    When she dropped me off at the station, she gave me a hug that felt a little extra, like there was a little appreciation behind it. I think she was happy to have someone who was able talk and laugh about some small mistakes which she was able to learn from throughout the night.

    I treat her like a person just as I would with anyone else. It makes me feel good to have that affect on people. It also makes me a little sad that this type of treatment towards other people seems to be rare… It really takes far less energy to be accepting than it does to wake up angry and bitter at innocent people.

    Other than that, I’m really growing tired and frustrated with technology dependence we are being cornered into using. Technology is a constant source of frustration and yet it feels like the majority have normalized the use of technology and headaches it comes with. It feels absurd and it’s exhausting.

    I’m trying hard to enjoy the moments and people that bring me happiness but there are times where my mind wanders towards the future. It gets so hard to breath in those moments…

  • 🐝bownage [they/he]@beehaw.org
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    2 months ago

    I’m going back and forth between feeling panicky because I am postponing a lot of serious talks and feeling weirdly calm.

    At least work is okay at the moment, but even there I have moments of feeling panicked, like when my coworkers review my code and I feel worthless all of a sudden (even though rationally I know they are nice people that give me feedback with the best intentions).

    I’ve realised that the past couple months, when things go wrong, I blame myself because the thought of confronting others just scares me so much. And it’s getting worse. I’ve been thinking maybe I need therapy?

    Unfortunately previous experiences talking to mental health professionals have made me wary because in this country being a functioning adult means that your issues aren’t serious enough to warrant intervention. On the other hand I guess I know how to answer their questions in a way that makes them more likely to help me.

    Idk I just feel very stuck and would love to not be stuck but also don’t really see a way out of this. I guess I’m hoping for a breaking point to magically appear so I have an excuse to open up about things to people around me 😕