I was running for my train. After entering in the station airlock, for a reason i still can’t explain, i turned right instead of continuing straight ahead and BAM, i hit a glass with my face. Now i have a little scar, fortunately hidden behind my eyebrow.
Sitting in a rocking swivel patio chair while shaving the dog and I leaned forward to get his belly. The chair started to tip. I startled and i was able to stop it from typing over, but then it felt like my back locked up and i couldn’t move. Husband helped me into the house and i missed several days of work. I did the exact same things three years in a row. I still have the chairs. Dog died and that’s likely the only reason it stopped after 3x.
Partially tore three quadriceps muscles and two calf muscles break dancing at an arcade bar when I was black out drunk. Just didn’t know when to quit until it was too late. Both my primary doctor and the person who did the MRI thought it was hilarious. To be fair, it was.
Last christmas, I was splitting wood with a wedge and a sledgehammer, and the sledgehammer broke. It didn’t hurt anyone, but my dumbass decided to pick up the sledgehammer head and start smashing away. My pinky slipped, and got crushed. I didn’t break any bones, surprisingly, and made a full recovery.
I fell off a first floor balcony, helping in a move. Landed on a bush, bounced off it, and came to a stop on a stone paved floor, after breaking a kitchen cabinet with my shoulder and back.
Cut my brow on a twig in the bush, twisted my left ankle, scraped my left shoulder, elbow and hand.
Would do it again.
Hadn’t I leaned too forward to release a foot of the cabinet, it would have tumbled down onto another person, with no warning, straight into their head.
So… worth the scars and bruises.
Cooking. Took a tray out of the oven and put in on the top. Turned to grab a spatula and caught the edge of the tray with the loose end of the oven glove.
As it slid off the top my dumb ass quickly grabbed for it with my ungloved hand, missed, and just pressed the searing hot tray into my stomach and thighs.
Two pies on the floor, that while I was whimpering in the cold shower upstairs, the dog ate.
I was stuck at home for several weeks after a back injury. I was on Vicodin and could barely get out of bed, no tv. So I started beating it. Well, with Vicodin, it makes it very difficult to finish and I lost track of time. By the time I had finished, I realized I’ve been at it for 5 hours. My dick hurt for 4 days afterwards, and the Vicodin didn’t really help with that pain.
😆
Got my ponytail stuck in my armpit somehow, twisted my head rapidly to look at something and yanked on it. Not fun.
When I was about 4, I was jumping on the sofa, back and forth from one arm to the other (because the middle was lava, obviously)
Misjudged it and ended up going headfirst off the end into a china cabinet next to it, glass doors and all - I ended up missing the first month of school, 32 stitches and basically half a Glasgow smile to show for it, I’m told it looks very cool
Touched an arm to the air fryer basket accidentally, now I’ve got a lovely horizontal scar on the side of my wrist
I poured boiling noodle water over my foot, had a big blister there and couldn’t walk in shoes for weeks. It’s almost a year now but the skin is still itchy sometimes.
I was going to carry a 5 gallon jug of water on my bicycle. I was just going to let the bicycle handle the weight by balancing it on the top tube between my legs, as I had already done a number of times before.
But this time, as I lifted the jug to place it on the top tube, it came down just a little too far back and totally smashed my left testicle!
“Five gallons of water weighs approximately 41.65 pounds (or about 18.9 kilograms) at room temperature. This is based on the weight of one gallon being around 8.33 pounds.” - DuckAssist
OUCH!!!
For the next few months, my left nut was misshaped, thank goodness it didn’t outright rupture!
You are supposed to wash your nuts with water, not squash your nuts.
Broke my wrist by blocking a gigantic remote control car flying directly at me at 50 MPH and I was the person controlling it.
I was carrying a hoover downstairs and slipped. The hoover fell down the stairs faster than me and stopped at the bottom obviously. The wire had partially unspooled and the very British three prong plug was sitting on the ground, pointing straight towards the sky.
Guess where my arse landed once I had finished slipping down the carpeted stairs?
‘Honest Doc, that’s exactly how it got up there!’
I was drunk and playing with a knife, my friend started tossing things for me to slash out of the air. When people see the scar I tell them I got stabbed, which is technically true!
Got a concussion in a pillow fight. I was in the top bunk in a lean-to at summer camp when I was maybe 13 or 14. Forgetting the low ceiling above me, I jumped to my feet, planning on launching a pillow at someone poking around another bed. Promptly slammed my head into the ceiling, knocked myself out and wound up going to the doctor shortly after. Pretty sure I still have a disc somewhere with images of the small minor brain bleeding I got as a result.
