What if the line’s busy and they get a recorded message “your murder is important to us. Please stay on the line for the next available bodyguard” Have your business American Express card ready.
I can’t help with that, but let me transfer you to someone who you’ll get to explain it all to over again.
Y’all are talking about the hotlines us poor schmucks have to deal with. Rich fucks get premium treatment.
Unless they decide they can’t trust any of us to operate their hotline and decide to run it on AI. Then it will sound like premium treatment, but will be about as useful as our poor schmuck hotlines are.
Season 4 of Only Murders in the Building (set in New York) ended with a call to 911, “please hold, there are 72 emergencies before you”
The link appears to be a transcript of a discussion between three individuals about a proposed assassin hotline and I have to say, if this is the level and quality of public discussion in the USA right now, you have bigger problems than a telephone number to call.
Oh, the hotline will probably just hang up on the current 911 call of the best operator on duty and they will immediately take care of the more equal CEO.
The best operator would pass the call to another operator and call back the person who was disconnected. Or have another operator call back the person who is disconnected.
Source: Worked 911.
What would this hotline even do? “Help I’ve been assassinated”?
Get trolled mercilessly. I’m technically a CEO, I’d blast the hell out of it for shits and giggles.
“Help I’d like to report a threat from a crazy guy. He’s nuts.”
“Ok sir, do you know who this individual is?”
“Deez nuts.”
Phone hangs up
Tomorrows headline: Gork arrested on charges of obstruction of justice, making false reports, bond set at $250,000
Anyone can be a CEO. They really need to limit this to just the most evil of CEOs.
I think if you want to get pre-clearance for the hotline, you should gather plenty of evidence of your eligibility and submit it to:
Honestly, if a militant group wanted to set up such a hotline to target those CEOs most evil and most in need of “protection,” that would be fucking hilarious.
I’ve been seriously debating starting some sort of forum and democratic process wherein people can discuss and vote on targets.
But I also don’t want to get disappeared before I can have an impact. There’s gotta be a better way.
It’d be a shame if there was some type of decentralized platform that allowed individuals to vote on and discuss content posted there…
The manhunt also received disproportionate resources. Our justice system isn’t blind and it never has been.
