I’m an introvert and I like going to work to do my job and go home. I don’t understand people who use a job as a substitute for friendship or marriage. It’s a means to an end.
The sooner I do my duties, the longer my downtime is going to be, and I love having my downtime.
Many of my colleagues see me and immediately start asking questions I don’t want to answer, but neither do I want to hurt their feelings, I mostly want to be left alone. In the past this has been deconstructed as arrogance and people with fragile egos feel insulted by my indifference to them and that I prefer to work than to talk to them.
The world is made by extroverts. I have observed that people are eager to help you if you give them attention. I don’t get it, but neither I’m not going to change how extroverts think or feel.
If I give them the attention they need for as long as they need it I’m going to end up with daily headaches and neither my job nor theirs is going to be done.
I want to appear approachable, but keeping the info I feed them to a minimum. How do I do that?
What do you talk about to your coworkers?
What do you say to stop conversation organically? (meaning they don’t get offended).
Are you me?
I’ve had success depending on the role. There are also factors like turn over and what it takes to give the appearance of “belonging” in your organisation and role. For best results play the long game, at the beginning, muster up as much as you can to engage in the minimum, ie, who are u, how many kids… as soon as you’re personable, disengage. Still answer the questions you’re asked, but ask none. Don’t get tempted into follow up questions, that is mixed signals and you’re not a slut. From there transition into dead eyes with them in non work related situations immediately.
Pretty soon there’s a healthy distance between you and the coworkers that bring you down
Ymmv - seriously lol