You’re spending 40 hours a week with them, why wouldn’t you want to have someone to shoot the shit with, or have a lunch buddy etc?

I think you should, but to a limited degree. It generally makes the work atmosphere better, and it helps pass the time. But be careful about becoming overly invested in those friendships, since one day one of the friends might leave.

This somewhat depends on the work place, though. If there’s room for chitchat without a supervisor being bitchy about socializing on the clock, I don’t see a problem with it.

One caveat is that being on friendly terms is not the same as being friends. Would they be likely to accept an invitation to do something outside of the workplace?

It unhealthy to seek to establish relationships at work because you or the other person may suddenly be forced to leave. You should have a support network outside of your employer.

That all said, you spend most of your waking hours at work so it’s likely you will form friendships and you should celebrate those and try to shift them outside of the workplace to preserve them if employment statuses suddenly change.

The only actual disadvantage of work friends is that those strong relationships can keep you in a position that isn’t healthy for you and it makes it more difficult to come to the decision to leave for greener pastures.

The only thing I consider verboten is dating at work. Don’t date some from work - never. NEVER.

Of course you should - make friends with whoever you like! I’ve made friends with colleagues and am still friends with them years after I left.

The only reason I can think of not to is if you or they are loads of drama and you don’t want to bothered by it at work.

People are people wherever you meet them.

The phrase I run with: don’t shit in your own backyard.

It’s fine to develop relationships at work and move them into “on good terms” territory if that is viable. It’s also fine if it is possible to move those viable work-friendships outside of the work environment to see if they can stand on their own. What is not smart however is to think that work-friendships are real friendships just because “we get along” at work. Most work friendships will drop you like a hot rock if you get fired. It’s important to be ready for that to happen even as you see what friendships might be viable.

I have work friends but they are a different category from regular friends. I’m more inhibited around them (or at least try to be). At the end of the day your colleagues and you have got together to make money as opposed to socialise.

I followed the advice to not get close to colleagues for the last 10 years or so and regret it. I did it because I thought it’d make work harder when we disagree and I’m balancing friendship vs professionalism. Realistically, all the people I would have been friends with are mature enough to make it a non-issue.

I have started reaching out to some of my ex-colleagues I got on well with but it’s very difficult to rebuild the relationship without the daily interactions. However, I have a job at the moment because I have reached out to an ex-colleague just to catch up.

I’d say if you meet someone you like, try to make friends. Jobs will come and go but finding good people to surround yourself with gets much harder as you get older.

What do you have to lose by being friends with the people you work with?

Friendships are fine, I don’t know why someone would discourage friendships at work. Relationships aren’t really advisable because a nasty breakup can cause unnecessary problems at work.

You make a really good point. If you don’t pursue friendships, how would those happen? I’m going to give this a try.

I don’t get why anyone would advise to not make friends. If there is a genuine connection, absolutely make friends. You see these people every week, probably just as much as your own family. It would be a disservice to yourself to not bond with these people. Relationships on the other hand, I’ve seen both happy endings and awkward breakups. I would advise to look for romance elsewhere.

The vast majority of work friends don’t become real friends. Just ask anyone who got fired or laid off how many of their work friends called to check in after they’ve left the company.

It’s not that you shouldn’t pursue friendship on the job it’s just that you shouldn’t invest too much in it or expect a lot from those friendships. A true friend is someone you can call in the middle of the night for help and they will drop whatever they are doing without a second thought. If you can’t do that with a work friend they are at most an acquaintance+. Of course there might be one or two colleagues who might become a true friend so don’t give up on making friends in the work place but keep your expectations low.

I’ve been remote since 2014. Plenty of friends made. Wouldn’t date at work as a general rule, it creates unnecessary risk IMO.

Certainly wouldn’t eg move in with someone I worked with, etc.

Then again, being poly and happily married, risk calculus is part of my mental process before attempting to date a particular person. If it goes south, will they show up naked and screaming on my front lawn in the middle of the night?

Since an angry ex doesn’t have the option of along me look bad to my wife (who also dates), any serious crazy could escalate quickly and creatively. I want nothing to do with that.

So (in my opinion) you need to first be very clear about your goal… You shouldn’t just DO or NOT DO anything really - YOU are the variable that needs to be accounted for.

If you are younger or desperate for social interactions/ friendships, and depending on the type of job, you can often make great friends at/through work. So if that is your priority, this is an opportunity.

But, work friendships come with professional risk. Your managers aren’t your friends, that dynamic will betray you if push comes to shove AND that thing you do/say at that party will be considered in your performance review and/or reported to HR. So, if career it your priority, then be pleasant, but leave it at “work friends” no genuine attachments.