I’d be like “FUCK! I just mulched all mine this weekend!!!”
“Thank you. Since we decided a few weeks ago to adopt the leaf as legal tender, we have, of course, all become immensely rich.”
Ford stared in disbelief at the crowd who were murmuring appreciatively at this and greedily fingering the wads of leaves with which their track suits were stuffed.
“But we have also,” continued the management consultant, “run into a small inflation problem on account of the high level of leaf availability, which means that, I gather, the current going rate has something like three deciduous forests buying one ship’s peanut."
Murmurs of alarm came from the crowd. The management consultant waved them down. “So in order to obviate this problem,” he continued, “and effectively revalue the leaf, we are about to embark on a massive defoliation campaign, and. . .er, burn down all the forests. I think you’ll all agree that’s a sensible move under the circumstances."
The crowd seemed a little uncertain about this for a second or two until someone pointed out how much this would increase the value of the leaves in their pockets whereupon they let out whoops of delight and gave the management consultant a standing ovation. The accountants among them looked forward to a profitable autumn aloft and it got an appreciative round from the crowd.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
I literally don’t know if you made this up or if it’s actually from a book.
Either way… Well done
It’s from hitchhikers guide to the galaxy
I, for one, welcome our new squirrel overlords.
Trees would lose all their leaves as people pick them off and let them die in a bag somewhere
People would start cutting down trees and plants so they could have more. Then that would cause inflation which in turn would cause people to cut more trees and plants. Carbon dioxide would soar, and then we all die.
I’d finally clean my gutters.
Maybe next weekend….
People who were already poor would remain so. Most people who aren’t wealthy can’t afford to own acres of land that doesn’t produce crops. If leaves suddenly became money, that would not change the fundamental needs people have of food and shelter. So you’d have the wealthy with vast swathes of forest that would slowly die as they carted out a lot of compost for use in markets, and people who live in apartments or other rental situations would never see a leaf on the ground again. You might see suburban homeowners get really good about caring for their trees and planting more, so that’s one possible benefit but overall this would be a nightmare.
It has already happened
Money can be anything.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rai_stones https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tulip_mania
Smoking pot would be expensive
People would start killing trees for the dead leaves.
Unfortunately I don’t think I’m even being cynical.We will trees for lumber. This isn’t cynical at all.
No, you’ll trees.
You don’t need to axe murder the tree to get leaves. I expect it to be more economically sustainable to keep your tree alive.
Lumber is the body, so not killing the tree is kinda off the table.
There are old methods of getting lumber from trees by cutting them short and letting the limbs grow back. The Japanese “daisugi” and European “copsing” are two different styles of the same idea. The fact that we don’t see those done much in the modern era makes me think that the industrial-capitalist mind would not comprehend the idea of waiting for leaves to fall.
Alas, I don’t think that’s being cynical at all. Or maybe I’m, too?
The only way I can see that happening is if ailiens get in touch asking to buy them.
Then money really would grow on trees.
That is a minor plot point in The Restaurant at The End of The Universe by Douglas Adams.
::: spoiler
They propose & implement a defoilage campaign to combat inflation. :::
Well for starters, at least one famous economist would be discredited.
