god creating platypuses: “get that kazoo off a duck, stick it to an otter and replace its tail with a beaver’s! oh, and, while youre at it, make it poisonous btw”
God was just messing at that point
… and give them corkscrews.
And one more thing, make sure it loves to rape
accidentally points at cow
Love this excuse to share a pic of the most beloved member of my flock. Antonio. When he is raising ducklings, we call him Big Papa Tony
just want you to know your duck name made my day better, great shit
Omg thank you!
And corkscrew genitals
Girl seems pleased
When a duck reaches a high enough level, it evolves into a goose, which builds on all the features of the duck but turns them up to 11
after the goose comes a swan, which though bigger, tougher, and stronger, has chilled the hell out a bit
after a swan then comes the Canadian goose, which even though it appears to be a return to goose, it’s actually the might of a swan, and the rage of a 100 regular geese
Give that bowling pin legs and flamboyance.
and make them explosively shit
Add extended range flight tanks and a foot long spiral penis.
now we’re cooking with gas!!
Yet more proof supporting Eddie Izzard’s hypothesis that God wasn’t done creating animals when he smoked all the opium “just to test the first batch” 😁
Man, imagine when God invented the drugs
Ducks > Chickens
██████████ ░░ ██░░░░░░░░░░██ ██░░░░░░░░░░░░░░██ ██░░░░░░░░████░░██████████ ██ ██░░░░░░░░████░░██▒▒▒▒▒▒██ ██░░██ ██░░░░░░░░░░░░░░██▒▒▒▒▒▒██ ██░░░░██ ██░░░░░░░░░░░░░░████████ ██░░░░░░░░██ ██░░░░░░░░░░░░██ ██░░░░░░░░████████████░░░░░░░░██ ██░░░░░░░░██░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░██ ██░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░██ ██░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░██ ██░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░██ ██░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░██ ██░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░██ ██░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░██ ██░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░██ ██████░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░████ ████████████████Oh no, I don’t have any grapes.
“And make it taste better.”
