it’s week 2 of 2024 and Holy Fuck Is It Windy Out There right now, oh god
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I just purchased my first car today. I’ve never needed a car before because paying for Uber was cheaper, but now with my new job, transportation costs will be lower with a car.
I’m excited and nervous at the same time. I’ve heard about the stress that comes with driving, but never experienced it with a brand new car that I just purchased.
I’m also trying to find a good name for the car, but it should come to me in due time. Overall, I think it’s worth it and that I’ll hopefully feel less stressed the more I drive.
My driving instructor always used to say “for all its faults, a car is still highly addictive”, and he’s totally right. But of course how much you enjoy driving it depends on where and how much you do that. Congrats anyway! What type of car is it, and what style of name did you have in mind?
It’s a Nissan Kicks SV, compact crossover, 122hp/FWD. I also chose it for storing my luggage when moving or traveling.
I do like the noise it makes when accelerating and it reminds me of a small dog barking at something 5x it’s size. The car feels light and smooth when driving, as well. I’m heading in that direction so, if you have any suggestions, let me know.
Sounds like both a practical and fun car! Here’s to many adventures with it.
As for the name, I have no idea. For some reason, Pierre comes to mind. Maybe because Nissan is french nowadays, or maybe I’ve just rewatched too many episodes of Danger 5 this week.
pretty great! had my first agility lesson of the new year with the pups, and they rocked it. got a crate for the incoming foster dog (her name is coco, pics next week). got together with some bike/camp folks and planned our next campout and longer day ride. got to see the fellowship of the ring (extended edition) at the theater. played a first session of a tabletop game called wickedness.
i need to stop being so busy, but at least it’s good busy. 😮💨
had my first agility lesson of the new year with the pups, and they rocked it.
Lucky you! Mine did every obstacle exactly once and then was like “look, now you know that I could do it if I wanted, can I go now.”
Don’t forget the pics!
i always pick dogs i think will enjoy it, since it’s my main reason for having dogs, hehe. my last dog (passed away last year) was the only one i’ve owned who didn’t really enjoy agility on any level. she was my professional couch potato. she was also much more chill than my other two agility nerds.
Couch potatoes are important too! And from the looks of it she was a pro.
Mine should enjoy agility in theory - she’s super smart, easily bored, very nimble and needs a lot of exercise. I don’t know if she’s being considerate by trying not to expose her clumsy human to such situations or if she just thinks such simple challenges would be degrading to such a majestic animal as herself.
At least our slightly overweight french bulldog (of all things) is ultra-motivated as long as there’s a treat waiting behind every other obstacle.
Well it snowed all weekend but today the sun is out, so I’m looking forward to freezing my ass off in the 20 degree temps outside. And we are having snowstorms every day for the next 6 to 7 days. I hope someone will see my feet sticking out and dig me out.
Just like every other week of my life, it was mostly good and I had a lot of fun, but just one bad thing happened and that’s all I clearly remember now.
This week I played games with my wife, we both made new friends, which we’ve been hoping for for a long time, went to an in game event and laughed our asses off about how crazy that got. It was really fun.
But then I got sick, severely injured my pinky toe and can’t walk, and had a minor argument with my wife because I woke her up to ask what to do about it, even though I knew what to do already and my anxiety just made me not trust myself.
I really hope the good parts are the parts that stick in my head, but that’s not usually how it goes with me.
severely injured my pinky toe
Aw man, that sucks both for its effects and for how much people underestimate the consequences. Did you stub it or cut it? Keep it snuggled up to the two toes next to it and make sure there’s a steady supply of chocolate.
Slammed it into my solid wood coffee table in the dark because I wasn’t paying attention. Broke it, which is the second bone I’ve broken in my life. The first was the same toe, the same way.
The toe is cursed I think.
oh, i guess i have two partners now and i forgot to mention that
I’m interested in something like that too but lack experience with it.
I’m wondering how you balance between letting things flow organically and sometimes forcing communication. Because I really value the former, but I feel extra communication might be required for poly.
I’ve never dabbled in poly myself (just open relationships, which have some similar mechanics but a fundamentally different mindset), so the following is limited second-hand knowledge/opinion, but seeing as nobody else has replied…
First of all I don’t think there’s a definite answer to your question, as ‘poly’ is an umbrella term for a lot of different constellations: does everybody date everybody or are people just allowed to have several unrelated partners, is everything fair game or are there things you’re only supposed to do with your main partner (if there is one), how are new partners introduced, who can have sex with whom, do the same rules even apply to everybody involved, etc. There’s no right or wrong, only “everybody involved is comfortable with this” or not.
I myself haven’t seen many poly constructs work out mid- to long-term, mainly for the same reason that many open relationships eventually fail: not everybody involved was equally enthusiastic about the open/poly part, and/or as mindful of their partner(s) ad the situation demands.
Those I’ve seen succeed all have two things in common: very, very good communication and unconditional trust.
One part of this is what some call “brutal honesty” - you talk about everything that might affect your feelings for each other - even, and especially, the things that may hurt your partner(s)'s feelings. This obviously demands a lot from everybody involved. You also need to accept the fact that your partner(s) will have feelings that may be hurtful to you but are still valid and good for them. For example you need to be genuinely happy for the person you love the most in the world when they fall in love with somebody new and/or have had better sex with them than with you. That’s tough on many levels. It also means that there needs to be enough trust to accept and overcome jealousy and fear of loss.
You also see how easily such a degree of trust can be abused. That abuse accounts for, hmm, probably 90% of all the failed poly and open situations I personally know of. It never works out when one partner just goes along with it in order not to (entirely) lose the other partner, which sadly happens alot and is not always obvious from the start.
Funnily enough, a monogamous relationship would profit just as much from that kind of communication, only a monogamous break-up is generally more of an obstacle than a shift in a poly constellation (both for personal reasons and because of what society expects), and so monogamous constructs can be of a much lower quality before they’re deemed unsustainable.
I’ve also asked a close friend with poly experience what they think is important and will add their response here once they’ve replied.
Congratulations, I presume?
Is it a poly constellation or don’t you have a name for it yet?Is it a poly constellation
just a fairly straightforward arrangement where all three of us are dating each other
Aww, so lovely. It’s not often this actually works out, so I’m genuinely happy for the three of you. There’s no such thing as too much love!
We’re freezing over here in Britannia 🥶
I’ve had a weird feeling all week and then I realized it felt like stability and security and that I haven’t felt that since 2015.
It’s been weirdly windy by me as well, normally the nights are pretty still even if it’s raining but the last couple nights have been pushing me around!
I am new here so I have stuff to share, but my big thing right now is…I have had a lot of unexplained chest pain for a long time, and I have a cardiologist that actually has an explanation and her treatment seems to be working, also it seems to be going a long way to helping my depression in a bonus win.
I don’t think my brain likes me much these days.
Admittedly, it used to like me a lot less, but for some reason I’m feeling a lot of shit that I haven’t felt in a very long time.
It doesn’t help that I have less physical and mental energy to deal with it than I used to, but I suppose the benefit of that is that I can’t really muster up much of a reaction beyond “just… go fuck yourself” (to my negative emotions, not to any actual people).
Also, lol. Found out about a month ago that my psychiatrist just kind of fucked off, got married, left the country, sold her practice, and decided to tell literally none of her patients. Not even a simple email. “Irresponsible and dangerous” is an absolute understatement. I’m just lucky I had no particular attachment to her.
Although, apparently she told some colleagues like the day or week before, which is… something?
I didn’t like her much, but she gave me my candy and now I have to find a new Willy Wonka.
Not many super choices, but maybe I’ll find a decent confectioner. Have recs from my therapist (who’s probably the most understanding person I’ve ever met and fucking fantastic at her job because of it), but might just take a look at this psych who took over the practice out of curiosity and just for funsies.
So, earlier than expected appointments I’m guessing it’ll be for me. Yay. (Actually, I don’t mind the earlier appointment with therapist, but psychiatrists are a different beast for me.)
I’m neutral, thanks for asking. Struggling between a heavy workload and leaping over my last university hurdle. The start of a new year is always a challenge, but one step at a time.
More immediately no one sick, hurt, dying, or dead. So I got that going for me, which is nice.
… how is the week going. Well, beyond words.
We had like a mini tropical storm down south weather was wild last night
We had quite the party here on the PNW coast. My power somehow didn’t go out, though, so that’s a win.
There’s a 50/50 chance I just got myself fired for standing up for myself at work, I’ll find out on Tuesday when I go back in, I guess; it really doesn’t matter to me anymore, I wasn’t happy there, just stressed. If I’m not, then that’s cool.
This is definitely the most euphoric I’ve felt in years, I think I’m going to celebrate with a trip to the beach and maybe look for some spots to skate. I think I’ll start self advocating for myself more, too. I like this feeling.
University spring term started again this week, and after being loaded down with three more assignments (including another group project), we also got the grades for one of last term’s assignments. I am very, very pleased with mine - 81%, which probably only really means something to those familiar with UK degree-level grading, but I’m really proud of it (while simultaneously being mildly annoyed I couldn’t do better). Last term’s group project grades will be given next week (though we do know that everyone passed, which is 40% or higher), and I’m expecting that one to be quite a bit lower. I’d like something above 70%, but that feels a bit optimistic given what a disaster the project was.
I’ve mentioned on a number of occasions the guy who was on my team project whose combination of arrogance and laziness made him more of a hindrance than a help throughout the entire project. I had a bit of a blow up at him just before Christmas, the culmination of his obstructiveness, his chronic (but not terminal) verbal diarrhoea, and utter lack of ability to accept that no means no. (“Do not touch my laptop” is pretty explicit, and should not prompt an argument about how it’s fine because he knows how to handle laptops.) Anyway, the outcome of this is that he’s spent the whole week sulking in the corner of the room, not talking to anyone. He also ragequit the class Discord server over Christmas, and nobody even noticed he was gone until today when we were getting set up for the new group project. That’s how much everybody likes him. I feel a little bad because I don’t like it when someone feels like they’re not welcome… even when they’re genuinely not welcome because they’re a dick.
