And I know we’re mostly atheists here, but please keep the theological discussion to a minimum and appreciate the lighthearted hypothetical scenario for what it is.

  • init@lemmy.ml
    0·
    2 years ago

    Thou shalt not be a poo poo head

    Thou shalt not hold unbelievers to the moral standards thou agreedest to and that only applyeth to thee

    Thou shalt not giveth a shitteth about shitteth that is not thine own

  • Echo Dot@feddit.uk
    0·
    2 years ago

    Thou shall not attempt to make a business out of this using the medium of broadcast images and shouting.

    • tetris11@lemmy.ml
      0·
      2 years ago

      Thou shalt not stalk thine ex’s media feed and scribe words inspired by Bacchus

  • Paragone@lemmy.world
    0·
    2 years ago

    Thou Shalt Not Tolerate Prejudice ( “Satan”, oft translated by scholars as “Accuser”, which is how everyone can know that it means prejudice: prejudice’s WHOLE action is accusing! ) instead of considered-reason.

    Thou Shalt Not Tolerate Ideology-Addiction, but will displace it with considered-reason, breaking it from authority.

    Thou Shalt Not Forget Silliness, who is the proper antidote to self-importance.

    Thou Shalt Not Ever Mistake Propaganda for Journalism, nor tolerate propaganda’s establishment.

    Thou Shalt Not Tolerate Lobbying/Bribery or any other corruption of governing.

    _ /\ _

    • JillyB@beehaw.org
      0·
      2 years ago

      I think the 10 commandments are in Exodus which is also one of the books where God says exactly how you should own slaves. So that would be a weird one.

  • esc27@lemmy.world
    0·
    2 years ago

    The 10 commandments divide into two sections. Rules for the relation between people and God and rules for the relation between people and other people. 5 more would probably setup a third section. Like rules for the relation between people and nature or rules for one’s relation to oneself.

    1. Forgive your brother who has wronged you as you would want him to forgive your own transgressions.

    2. Honor creation and take only what you need from the mountains, streams, woodlands, and valleys.

    3. Respect the creatures of the earth as your brothers in creation.

    4. Avoid excesses and live humbly

    5. Love yourself for you were created in My image

    • tetris11@lemmy.ml
      0·
      2 years ago
      1. Love yourself for you were created in My image
      1. But not like that.
      2. No, not like that either…
      3. Listen you little shit, if I catch you doing that again I’ll come down from this cloud and seduce your wife as a swan.
  • HelixDab2@lemm.ee
    0·
    2 years ago

    IIRC–and its been a long time since I’ve bothered reading the bible–what happened is that Moses got one set of commandments from god, came down from the mountain, sand saw the Israelites worshiping a gold cow. He got mad, broke the tablets the laws were on, and then disposed of the Israelites that were engaging in idolatry. Then he went back up the mountain and got the rules we call the ten commandments.

    • deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz
      0·
      2 years ago

      From memory: correct.

      From vaguer memory the second set were different.

      So we already have commandments 11-20.

      • HelixDab2@lemm.ee
        0·
        2 years ago

        That was my understanding too; god gave one set of commandments to Moses at first, because I guess s/he couldn’t see what the Israelites were doing while he was talking to Moses? Then he gets pissed when Moses tells him, and gives the dumbed-down version. Supposedly that’s where you get Jesus saying that he fulfills the law, e.g., the laws of strict observances in Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy were because the Jews weren’t ready for a ‘higher’ law that used more personal judgement.

  • ouRKaoS@lemmy.today
    0·
    2 years ago

    The other tablet only had one commandment, chiseled extra large for emphasis:

    Above all else, do no harm.

  • oscardejarjayes [comrade/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
    0·
    2 years ago
    1. [my actual name here] is your lord, savior, and 4th form of god, and shall be treated as such.
    2. Sinning is the 12th form of liberalism
    3. Join an org (mine, preferrably)
    4. There can be no peace so long as hunger and want are found among millions of the working people and the few, who make up the employing class, have all the good things of life.
    5. Thou shalt seed more than thou downloads, unless thou ist [my actual name here].