And I know we’re mostly atheists here, but please keep the theological discussion to a minimum and appreciate the lighthearted hypothetical scenario for what it is.
- Thou really believed me, idiot? Do whatever the fuck you want. I don’t care
I think Jimmy Pop said it pretty well:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3mHkl7N4pEMHere is an alternative Piped link(s):
https://m.piped.video/watch?v=3mHkl7N4pEM
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I’m open-source; check me out at GitHub.
“No slavery”, “no genocide”, “no slavery”, “no genocide”, and “seriously, no slavery or genocide”.
Considering that early Jewish writings directly contain laws about the treatment of slaves, “no slavery” was probably not on the list.
As for Genocide, Yahweh commanded Saul through Samuel:
And Samuel said to Saul, "The Lord sent me to anoint you to be king over His people, over Israel; and now hearken to the voice of the words of the Lord.
…
Now, go, and you shall smite Amalek, and you shall utterly destroy all that is his, and you shall not have pity on him: and you shall slay both man and woman, infant and suckling, ox and sheep, camel and ass.And then Yahweh threw a hissy fit when Saul showed some mercy. Turns out that Yahweh was is a dick, according to his own believers’ writings.
To be fair, Samuel had tried to convince the people of Israel not to do the king thing in the first place. See 1 Samuel 8:10-22.
And he said, This will be the manner of the king that shall reign over you:
He will take your sons, and appoint them for himself, for his chariots, and to be his horsemen; and some shall run before his chariots. […] And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cooks, and to be bakers.
And he will take your fields, and your vineyards, and your oliveyards, even the best of them, and give them to his servants. And he will take the tenth of your seed, and of your vineyards, and give to his officers, and to his servants. And he will take your menservants, and your maidservants, and your goodliest young men, and your asses, and put them to his work. He will take the tenth of your sheep: and ye shall be his servants.
And ye shall cry out in that day because of your king which ye shall have chosen you; and the Lord will not hear you in that day.
Nevertheless the people refused to obey the voice of Samuel; and they said, Nay; but we will have a king over us; that we also may be like all the nations; and that our king may judge us, and go out before us, and fight our battles.
“PM Netanyahu invokes ‘Amalek’ theory to justify Gaza killings.”
He actually quoted this a few weeks back…
They’re on the prop from Mel Brooks’ History of the World Part I
Thou shall not attempt to make a business out of this using the medium of broadcast images and shouting.
Thou shalt not stalk thine ex’s media feed and scribe words inspired by Bacchus
“sorry it was a joke”
One saying slavery shouldn’t happen would be nice.
I think the 10 commandments are in Exodus which is also one of the books where God says exactly how you should own slaves. So that would be a weird one.
God really is a piece of shit.
I might as well go first:
Though shalt seed what you download (You’ll understand in a few thousand years)
Sharing is caring !
That’s why I seed my neighbour’s wife.
Thou shall not leave a shitstreak in the bowl, if you do so use the brush before leaving.
Nah, I leave it to assert dominance
Do as I say, not as I do.
If more people acknowledged the massive hypocrisy of the christian bible, the world might have been a better place.
Thou shalt not be cruel
Thou shalt not oppress your fellow man
Thou shalt not put yourself before your brethren
Thou shalt not think only of yourself
Thou shalt not live in a disordered home, nor shall you allow the cities you live in to become disorderly due to your own lack of action
The ones that make the most sense to me as stuff Moses might say.
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Thou shalt trust honest people, for why would one be honest if nothing comes from it
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Thou shalt not assume things, to assume is often more destructive than lying
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Thou shalt not cheat in games and anything with a justified set list of rules
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Thou shalt not intentionally cause mental illness, for it is equal to murder
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Thou shalt not gatekeep or deny another person’s rightful union
Wow, those really sound like they could have been from the Bible (also bonuses point to you for coming up with a serious suggestion). Here, you win the Nobel prize in Prophetry*! Your basically the new Moses, and we shall follow you!
/s (it’s sarcasm but keep the Nobel prize, you deserve it (*v*)/ []-[]¬ )
* Prophetry is supposed to mean “being a prophet” but I just made that word up
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Returneth thy cart.
Thou shall not leave the toilet lid open after used.
Thou Shalt Not Tolerate Prejudice ( “Satan”, oft translated by scholars as “Accuser”, which is how everyone can know that it means prejudice: prejudice’s WHOLE action is accusing! ) instead of considered-reason.
Thou Shalt Not Tolerate Ideology-Addiction, but will displace it with considered-reason, breaking it from authority.
Thou Shalt Not Forget Silliness, who is the proper antidote to self-importance.
Thou Shalt Not Ever Mistake Propaganda for Journalism, nor tolerate propaganda’s establishment.
Thou Shalt Not Tolerate Lobbying/Bribery or any other corruption of governing.
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