“WHAT WAS HE HIDING?”
Well, meatballs, obviously.
Six of them.
He knew his wife “wasn’t gonna be hungry,” and would “share,” his meatballs. The man just needed to get full first, so he wasn’t starving after.
Meh.
I was getting a Chinese takeout a while back. A guy came in to pick up his order and sank 4 cans of Carlsberg Special Brew (7.5% ABV) in the 5 minutes it took them to get it ready for him. He wasn’t savouring this beer, he was just fucking necking it as fast as possible.
Who knows the struggles other people are going through and the things they do to get through the day without losing it.
“ Wait… I worry what you heard was, ‘Give me a lot of bacon and eggs.’ What I said was, give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Do you understand?”
Ahh Ron Swanson, the only conservative the world ever needs.
Aaand here goes a five page discussion about whether if Ron is conservative or not
He’s the wet dream ideal of conservative libertarianism, so yeah.
[In my best nature documentarisn voice] Behold, what appears to be moving goalposts to the outside observer is actually a side-effect of the first-past-the-post system’s tendency towards two dominant parties.
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He’s cheating on his diet, as others mentioned. I feel like you should be able to just talk to your wife about going off diet once in a while…
Some people suck though. Dude would probably catch hell from his wife Karen.
Eh someone who gives their SO hell for not sticking to their diet is not necessarily “Karen”, it’s unnecessary to frame it this way
Maybe he was unhealthy obese
I’ve seen parasite check his bag
Holy shit this thread
Meme : weird event happens at restaurant, only context is that man was hiding his actions for whatever reason"
ITT: FUCKING WIVES AMIRITE
She isn’t going to order her own meatballs and is going to pick off his plate. He wanted to make sure he got to eat his fill without sharing.
I’ve literally done exactly this
Found the meatballs guy
Well, with my fiancée it’s diet coke
Yeah, don’t want to be loading up on soda calories when there’s meatballs to be eaten!
What happened to communicating with your partner
You’re not married, are you? Eating something off your plate is communication.
6 yr relationship, never planned to marry, in case it matters. The lack of communication I was talking about was him eating ahead of time in secret rather than telling his wife that sharing would mean that they’d need more food in order for him to have enough.
I mean the guy could have legitimately told her about the meatballs, yet thought it was funny to say he would “try” them knowing the waiter knew full well they already had them twice.
Queue them laughing on the way home and her finding it to be a cute quirk that he likes to confuse waiters with such.
This is non verbal communication.
He knows his wife likes the meatballs, but isn’t going to order her own, so he eats two, claims he’s stuffed, and let’s her have the last one.
He actually is stuffed, because the ones she saw him eat were actually numbers 7 & 8 and she’s happy because she gets a meatball without ordering extra food.
So wholesome!
That’s a good theory.
Joey doesn’t share food!
His balls apparently
Don’t tell him they are made of meat, though
Aren’t we all made of meat?
Oh no
WHAT WAS HE HIDING
That he wanted six extra meatballs?
Maybe it’s a trick question.
Like maybe he was hiding a corpse in the trunk of his car, which he murdered by slitting their throat with Occam’s razor.
She’s gonna complain about the bill.
But it’ll probably show 3 orders of meatballs, and she saw him get 3 meatballs. He just has to keep her from looking too closely
That’s why he says “I think I’ll try the meatballs.” You just solved the mystery. Now he has plausible deniability. I hope they have security cameras.
Imagine all the time this guy saves by typing like he’s doing it with his fucking face
He’s an amateur, he typed out “ate” instead of using “8”!
b4
That’s a bingo!
It’s sorta greentext-like
But what is he hiding?
I don’t know why i’m a fat diabetic
Big bones and bad genes, clearly
Gout, probably
