[M, 20] I’ve been looking for a relationship for awhile now. I’ve had a few shots, but they didn’t go anywhere because they were all single moms with kids (nothing against that lol, I just know what I’m looking for). I wanted to find a girl who’s into computers or coding, and maybe is even into Linux. I know there’s meetup.com or events like DEFCON, but I’m looking for something in my area (NY). I refuse to go on Tinder. Sooner or later, I won’t be carrying a cell phone (switching to laptop as daily) so my options probably just got a lot smaller. Although, I do think I’m pretty attractive, and I feel like I’d still pull regardless. Anwyays, where’s the Linux women at? Like seriously, where? I guess I should just start roaming around with a Python t-shirt or something?
I think … this is going to be an uphill battle. If you’re in NYC, maybe you’ve got a shot (simply because there are so many folks around).
However, you’re looking at a minority of a minority probably within a minority of folks that you’d find attractive that are in your age group (unless liking Linux is literally the only thing that makes someone attractive to you).
I’ve been off and on dating sites myself for years in the Northeast Ohio area. I’ve used them since my early twenties and I’m now 29 really only having had one relationship come from them that actually went past a few dates; that unfortunately ended last year … and she was in the medical field and almost completely uninterested in computers (the outdoors is what we bonded over mostly).
My advice (speaking openly as someone that … doesn’t love where he ended up): keep an open mind, try and find hobbies that you genuinely like that are more likely to involve women, and just … focus on meeting people.
Unfortunately for me, I’ve found most of my hobbies outside of computers to be pretty unhelpful in meeting women (e.g., one of them is hiking, while plenty of women do it at least occasionally, starting a conversation with a girl who’s all alone in the middle of woods or in a group with her friends … well I’ve yet to do it, despite being a fairly social person elsewhere these days).
If you’re in college, definitely take advantage of the first few years when you’re doing gen-ed classes to meet people outside of any computer science related major … and maybe consider taking some classes that just are more likely to have women in them as electives. If someone you meet is not interested, take it at face value, maybe keep them around as a friend but move on, leave the “win over the girl that wasn’t interested” stuff for the movies (I’ve never seen it work).