Focus on making friends, the girlfriend will come naturally from meeting people and friends of friends.

Also, board game nights at restaurants or bars if there are any in your area. If there aren’t maybe start one yourself.

deleted by creator

Stating “you can pull” isn’t doing you any favors. There’s women here on Lemmy. At least you’re showing your true self so we know to steer clear.

I think … this is going to be an uphill battle. If you’re in NYC, maybe you’ve got a shot (simply because there are so many folks around).

However, you’re looking at a minority of a minority probably within a minority of folks that you’d find attractive that are in your age group (unless liking Linux is literally the only thing that makes someone attractive to you).

I’ve been off and on dating sites myself for years in the Northeast Ohio area. I’ve used them since my early twenties and I’m now 29 really only having had one relationship come from them that actually went past a few dates; that unfortunately ended last year … and she was in the medical field and almost completely uninterested in computers (the outdoors is what we bonded over mostly).

My advice (speaking openly as someone that … doesn’t love where he ended up): keep an open mind, try and find hobbies that you genuinely like that are more likely to involve women, and just … focus on meeting people.

Unfortunately for me, I’ve found most of my hobbies outside of computers to be pretty unhelpful in meeting women (e.g., one of them is hiking, while plenty of women do it at least occasionally, starting a conversation with a girl who’s all alone in the middle of woods or in a group with her friends … well I’ve yet to do it, despite being a fairly social person elsewhere these days).

If you’re in college, definitely take advantage of the first few years when you’re doing gen-ed classes to meet people outside of any computer science related major … and maybe consider taking some classes that just are more likely to have women in them as electives. If someone you meet is not interested, take it at face value, maybe keep them around as a friend but move on, leave the “win over the girl that wasn’t interested” stuff for the movies (I’ve never seen it work).

I’d suggest broadening your scope.

There’s lots of nerdy ladies out there, but you’re most likely to meet people at conventions and other hobby events. If you’re near NYC that will likely be where to go for that stuff.

You could also explore online forums and support groups on discord. But please understand that these places are not intended for you to seek out women but to meet like minded individuals. Continue to respect the community and people’s boundaries.

You could further your education and try to meet people at college.

Out of interest, why is being into computers/coding/linux/etc. important to you in a partner? Would finding a partner with different interests but an agreeable personality be that big a problem?

The majority of women aren’t attracted to people with common interests, they usually look for people different and interesting, maybe changing the objective type of women would be better depending on the result you want.

Edit: Answering your question it’s highly possible to find an unicorn than a woman like that IRL.

College comp sci classes?

Sooner or later, I won’t be carrying a cell phone

Among other issues with your post, I highly suspect that this is going to be a dealbreaker for a huge proportion of people in a world where people expect their partner to be instantly reachable. It’s also likely to complicate mundane things in daily life that still require phone calls.

Focus on you, focus on being happy, and the rest should figure itself out.

Um, nothing wrong with dating another programmer if you happen to meet one and things go that way, but it’s better to start out with a much wider filter and be open to whatever might develop.