alt-text: [yellow text saying “different pronouns in different spaces” next to the queer anarchist flag and on a 2d digital art wooden background]

  • Gaywallet (they/it)@beehaw.org
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    3 months ago

    Beehaw may not be the right space for you if you’re unable to consider context. Beehaw is explicitly a community, a safe space, and somewhere where context absolutely matters. We don’t believe it’s possible to have a healthy community where people don’t see each other as complex humans. We talk about this, quite a bit in our docs. For example in the the doc titled Beehaw is a community we talk about how community is a necessary part of this platform and in the doc titled Beehaw, Lemmy, and A Vision of the Fediverse we talk about how we want to be more like a village than we do a train station (and link to a fantastic article about this) and that’s a direct reflection of the importance of social ties and connections to running a healthy community.

    I’m certainly not saying that you should leave, but I am typing all of this up because I need you to understand what our values are around here. Some of your content and your interactions have already been reported by multiple people - I mention this because I think it’s a reflection of your attitude towards your purpose here and how you are interacting with the space. I’ve advised others to hold on taking moderator actions because I know adapting to and interfacing with a community is a process that can often be bumpy- we wish to give people good faith when it is deserved, but that is predicated on a willingness to engage in good faith with the community. If that is not how you wish to interact with social media, that is your decision and we will respect it, but this is not a place where we allow that kind of behavior.

      • Gaywallet (they/it)@beehaw.org
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        3 months ago

        It’s hard to engage with such short replies. What parts confuse you? What do you need more guidance on? Is there anything else that is unclear about my response and how we value community around here?

        • rosethornRangerTTV@beehaw.orgOP
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          3 months ago

          deeper context involves like, reading the last 10 posts someone made to get an idea of who they are before responding, is that expected here? I am not understanding what you want from me

          • alyaza [they/she]@beehaw.orgM
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            3 months ago

            I am not understanding what you want from me

            i think the basic confusion people are having is that, when you phrase it like “I use it/its in spaces where I do not plan on engaging with people as individuals” and “This space is not a chat room and there is no reason to treat it as such. It is a forum.”, how that comes off to some people is you are kind of treating this place like a dumping ground for what you want to talk about and then ignoring other people jumping off of your posts. that may or may not be what you intend to do; so that’s why people are trying to clarify the intent of your posts.

            • rosethornRangerTTV@beehaw.orgOP
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              3 months ago

              i mean i did mention replying to comments though, so idk how they could assume that i was planning on ignoring them?

              idk it feels like bad faith assumptions

              like people keep saying im not going to use peoples pronouns when i didnt say anything about that?

              • t3rmit3@beehaw.org
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                3 months ago

                Because you said that you use it/its when you are in a forum where you don’t plan on interacting as an individual, and I think they took that to mean you will use it/its when addressing others.

          • elfpie@beehaw.org
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            3 months ago

            Please, don’t feel like we are piling on you. I personally would say you came as a positive disruption, but making sure this is a safe space is a big priority and that means even discussions filled with good intentions have to be careful. You should check tildes for comparison.

            Now about forums and chat rooms. Chat rooms never felt really personal to me, but I could never socialize with a lot of people at the same time well. Forums, 20 years ago, were a space I inhabited frequently. Deeper context for me was knowing who I was talking to because I had read their posts and comments in the past. We engaged ideas, but we considered people as well. Of course, not every discussion was the same, with some more abstract than others.

            I have been seeing your posts for the past week. They feel very personal, but your approach feels detached, academic. Try being more conversational, asking questions and being interested. For instance: What brought you here? Why do you post? What do you expect to offer and get? Ideas, opinions, experiences? Educate people, get collaboration for your ideas, someone to challenge and strength them?

            I truly believe our mods want to be accepting, but their role is also to maintain peace by guiding and reminding we all of our philosophy.

            • rosethornRangerTTV@beehaw.orgOP
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              3 months ago

              I’m autistic, I’ve been called “detached and academic” my whole life, if you are inclusive how about you try including how I like to communicate instead of treating my existence like a problem to be fixed

              what makes you think attacking me how I interact makes me want to interact more closely?