This is going to sound so bad, but I can’t look for someone smarter without limiting my options too much, just as I am tall for a lady in my area so can’t make taller than me a requirement.

So: smart enough to be funny, to understand the things I talk about? To understand how money works , live in the world easily, not stupid? Competent in some area, different from what I am good at? Required. Smart enough that I think “wow you are smart!” Not a consideration. I do think I assign extra ‘points’ to intelligence, it makes someone more attractive, but it’s not something I need as much as I need kindness and open mindedness, and in myself I value those qualities more too.

I think intelligence/personality are about even for me. I think I would not have rejected my wife if she were average intelligence, but the fact that she has a science background, and the quick way she thinks are part of the package that I fell for. So I will say very important, but not the most important.

Yeah not only intelligent but a curious and inquisitive mind. I need someone fun to be with who will challenge me and have cool conversations with. If they’re not willing to learn new things then that’s pretty boring.

Not much. As long as she’s a person with common sense and a bit of intelligence, I’m fine.

As long as they’re able to go about their life without doing dumb shit that’s good enough for me. More important is being ethical and having good emotional intelligence (I suppose this could be lumped in with intelligence but it’s not the same as being book smart).

I wish you were more specific, there’s multiple types of intelligence.

Important, but not as important as loyalty.

I wouldn’t want to spend my life with someone, who would not be capable of understanding the things I like thinking and talking about, so a lot less intelligent partnet would be a problem. I would also not want to feel like I have nothing to offer intellectually to my partner, so the ideal is to be in the same league. I can theoretically imagine some kind of combination of one partner being less intelligent but also outstanding in another department that the other partner is lacking.

So this is an interesting question to me and got me thinking… I think the qualities that are important to me in a partner (compassion, empathy, openness, open mindedness, passion, etc.) aren’t strictly tied to intelligence? Maybe there’s a correlation, I guess? Depends on how you define intelligence.

I probably wouldn’t go out of my way to look for particularly intelligent people. In fact I’d probably avoid anyone who puts their IQ in their bio (because… Eww). But based on my interests and personally, I can see myself naturally sharing more in common with “intelligent” people (wow that sounds pretentious).

I do wonder if I’d feel frustrated with a partner who couldn’t understand me when explaining complex things though…

I love reading and playing Chess. Writing is a personal passion and maaan do I love to talk about psychology, sociology, and the larger sciences. At the same time I do enjoy exercise such as hiking and exploring in general, though I need someone to pull me out to actually do these things. Otherwise, I’ll stay home and read, play games, and continue to learn the motherfucking piano, which is proving to be a nice challenge.

Intelligence here is simply someone who is curious and driven enough to ask questions. Solid +3 modifier to sexiness if they’re smarter than me. Like, let me listen to you talk about amphibians, historical setbacks, or how a geological formation potentially created a series of tunnels full of mystery and allure. I eat that shit up.

There are so many different types of intelligence, and so many different ways of judging them. Someone’s intelligence can vary so much even on a day to day basis based on if they get enough sleep, their blood sugar, stress levels, hormones, health issues, distractions, etc etc. I used to put SO MUCH stock in intelligence but as I’ve gotten wiser I’ve realized it doesn’t matter if they can solve math problems quickly or have a big vocabulary or specialized in a niche field of science or got an advanced degree etc etc. I learned that as long as a partner is good at problem solving and makes good decisions, none of the rest matters. Are the decisions they are making consistently making their and other’s lives better? Are they able to tackle hurdles when they come between them and their goals? If the other pieces of compatibility are there then that’s really all that’s important.

If I were the type to choose a partner, I’d say it’s very important for them to be not dumb, but less important to be actually smart. It would still be a positive, but someone who’s not a genius but still had many other good qualities can still be fun to hang out with. It’s also a mindset thing-- someone with little knowledge but a will to learn is better than someone who knows more, but refuses to learn anything new. (Not that knowledge == intelligence, anyways.)

I think there’s something to be said for being able to show somebody you love a thing that you love for the first time, so I don’t necessarily want someone who’s so intelligent that they’re jaded to the world. However, after dating a man who was on the level of “Winter lasts as long as the Christmas season, spring starts in January,” I realized that doesn’t apply to basic facts about the world. I also don’t want someone dumb enough to try and reject those basic facts about the world when questioned. I’m not really looking for a specific level of education, just someone who’s interested in learning more about the world.

Dont gotta be super smart, just have a good attitude and curiosity. I want to build a life together, not cure cancer.

If everyday anomalies and unanswered questions don’t drive you a little batty, your willful ignorance will start to become annoying.