…ideally one that was both genuine and that you had the confidence and self awareness to interpret as kind. And for bonus points, what’s one you’ve given?
I’m thinking back to the guy in group therapy years ago who told me he always thought of people who swore as not knowing any better words, but that I obviously knew better words and just also swore and even used them artistically and that’s just really stuck with me. Sometimes I wonder how much of my self esteem has suffered not just because I’ve been told not to brag, but also because I’m extremely weird so the compliments I do receive often reflect that.
My bonus one (and I’m not sure how well he was able to take it) was that one of my fellow psych nurses was frequently and obviously terrified any time shit hit the fan, but that somehow still he’d never once failed to have my back. He’d be stuttering the whole way through an incident but I’d walk out of the med room with both halves of a B52 and he’d take one of the syringes without a second thought. He was literally the epitome of “courage isn’t not being scared, it’s being willing to face it.” I should find a nice presentation of that quote somewhere to send him because I’m not sure I phrased it well at the time.
After some research, this redditor sums the moment up thus: “Dennis is incapable of complimenting him he doesnt have anything nice to say he doesnt respect Mac he doesnt even like Mac Mac just likes him and this is the foundation of their friendship no one likes Dennis everyone knows hes a scumbag psychopath but Mac admires and worships Dennis and values his opinions over anyone else which is how Dennis thinks everyone should see him he tolerates Mac because he keeps him anchored and from going to far or drowning while still validating Dennis’s chaos and faults so he simply states the first thing he notices about Mac in the moment which is that his hair looks small which it does because he greased it different (obviously making an effort to be noticed by Dennis) When Mac realizes hes just saying what he wants to hear and not being genuine he goes to walk away which is why Dennis does the speach to let him know that he is important not because hes badass or how he looks but because hes always has Dennis’s back”
I still don’t understand how this could apply to this person’s situation.