It all started with a tweet about a couch. Within hours of Donald Trump announcing the Ohio senator JD Vance as his running mate in the presidential race, a rather lurid accusation cropped up on social media.

The user of a since-deleted X account wrote last month, “can’t say for sure but he might be the first vp pick to have admitted in a ny times bestseller to fucking an inside-out latex glove shoved between two couch cushions (vance, hillbilly elegy, pp. 179-181).”

The fake page citation from Vance’s bestselling memoir Hillbilly Elegy lent credibility to what turned out to be a baseless claim, as detailed in a now-removed fact check from the Associated Press. Soon, the internet was awash in memes mocking Vance’s relationship with various pieces of furniture. “I did not have sectional relations,” one X user joked, paraphrasing Bill Clinton’s infamous quote about his extramarital affair. Another user added: “Who hasn’t been excited by the thrill of the chaise?”

Even Kamala Harris’s newly launched presidential campaign appeared to get in on the fun, tweeting: “JD Vance does not couch his hatred for women.”

  • Jarmer@slrpnk.net
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    11 months ago

    I’m from central KY and my wife’s from Appalachia. I think the entire region would have a massive week long party titled “FUCK JD VANCE FOREVER” if this happened. He’s one of the most hated people around here. You even bring up his name and you can see people’s heart rates and fury and anger go up even before the ranting begins.

      • eestileib@sh.itjust.works
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        11 months ago

        He wrote a whole book telling big city people that all of their prejudices against Appalachia and the people who live there are 100% correct.

        • Jarmer@slrpnk.net
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          11 months ago

          Yeah he basically wrote a book full of a bunch of lies in which he shits all over kentucky, but also the entire appalachian region with just a whole truckload of baseless claims and completely made up “stories” of his upbringing that never happened. It’s all lies. Like @eestileib said, it just preyed on the prejudice big city people all over the country had about this region, having never actually been here at all. They think of Appalachia and think no shoes, inbred hillbillies who can’t even speak and don’t have running water. Vance wrote a NY TIMES BESTSELLER (how on earth did they approve that) that just made up a bunch of lies confirming all those prejudices. In reality Appalachia is one of the most unique, gorgeous, creative, wonderful places on earth. Of course it has its problems, but Vance would never write something about how beautiful and wonderful something is. He’d much rather write something that tears down and belittles people he knows nothing about.

          As I said: he’s probably the #1 most hated human around this region.

  • MudMan@fedia.io
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    11 months ago

    Beyond anything else, I think we can agree that’s a heck of a headline. British press style is extremely annoying, but every now and then something clicks and makes you wonder if it’s all worthy (it isn’t).

    • SirSamuel@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      I strongly recommend the book The Truth by Terry Pratchett. He does a send up of the press in general and there are so many puns. Like this gem:

      Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler, Ankh-Morpork’s most enterprisingly unsuccessful businessman, peered at William over the top of his portable sausage-cooking tray. Snowflakes hissed in the congealing fat.

      William sighed. ‘You’re out late, Mr Dibbler,’ he said politely.

      ‘Ah, Mr Word. Times is hard in the hot sausage trade,’ said Dibbler.

      ‘Can’t make both ends meat, eh?’ said William. He couldn’t have stopped himself for a hundred dollars and a shipload of figs.

  • fox2263@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    This would be a perfect thing for Tucker Carlson to just ask questions about. If he wasn’t a huge piece of shit

      • fox2263@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        “Have you never had a favourite couch? That perhaps you think about sometimes. Imagine how you would feel if they took it away. You answer your door and it’s some removal men. Is it wrong to even have a favourite couch? That’s what they want you to believe. They want to remove all couches for chairs in a great replacement act. Some say they want to teach kids about dressing up your couches, making them look different in different situations. What if you wanted your couch to be blue instead of brown. This is the future they want for us.”

  • Etterra@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    Given how much press the sofa is taking, I would not be surprised if Trump ditches Vance for the sofa.

  • protist@mander.xyz
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    11 months ago

    If Trump kicks Vance off the ticket, I’d be interested to see who at this point would be willing to throw in with him. You have to think that list is even shorter now than it was a month ago

  • Snapz@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    Sure the couch thing is now of a rumor (that he purportedly repeated often over the years), but there are actual pictures of the thing with him and geese. Dude is WEIRD.

  • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    Trump has no problem dropping people when they aren’t doing him any favors. He sure did as president. I wouldn’t be shocked if he dropped Vance… but I also don’t think it will help him if he does it no matter who else he picks.

    • The Quuuuuill@slrpnk.net
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      11 months ago

      Yeah. Now that we know we can hurt them this bad with the “I don’t have to take this from someone who sucks toes” strat

      • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        Well, hopefully not suck toes. That’s not really that uncommon a kink from what I understand.

        I’m sure we can find something though.

        • The Quuuuuill@slrpnk.net
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          11 months ago

          Yeah we can figure something out. Its something my friend from Atlanta says he figured out to say to fascists because it totally trips them up since they’re not sex positive. They get weirdly defensive and drop whatever harmful thing they were trying to do to focus on “I’D NEVER SUCK TOES”

          I’d prefer to in digital spaces make fun of these weirdos for something that’s not a legitimate and healthy kink. Like maybe who ever comes after Vance we’re just like “We don’t have to take this from someone who licks LSD soaked cats”

          • I Cast Fist@programming.dev
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            11 months ago

            I think “toe sucker” hits better because it sounds weird but innocuous enough to be believable, plus it hits just right with fashits’ bootlicking fetish.

            Licking a LSD soaked cat is too bizarre to feel possible. A decent alternative might be “jar of mayo”.*

            * Sorry for triggering anyone who saw 1 guy 1 jar

  • brianary@startrek.website
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    11 months ago

    Give it time. Soon enough he’ll hire a reputation management company, shave his beard, show up for Dancing on the Stars, then SNL will put him in a sketch as Waluigi.

  • numlok@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    “You can have a vice-president that is outstanding in every way, and I think JD is, I think all of them would have been, but you’re not voting that way. You’re voting for the president. You’re voting for me.”

    As the oldest presidential candidate in American history, I think it’s entirely reasonable to consider the non-trivial chance that his second may need to step in at some point.