Seen this on reddit and thought it was an interesting question that largely is not talked about.
It is largely an issue that gets sidelined and hidden because people don’t want to talk about it or accept that it exists. Hopefully this gets some traction to break that marginalisation.
Waiting for either society to collapse or the online feminist-sphere to begin attempting to approach some form of rationality and proportionality.
Things aren’t looking good.
What do you mean by “misandry”?
If you mean “women venting about their experiences in a male-dominated world”, then I don’t give a shit. I just try not to be the reason they’re complaining.
If you mean unrealistic emotional expectations for men, like we’re not allowed to cry or be sensitive or feel any emotion but anger, it frustrates me. I don’t really know how to handle it.
Not the first one.
I wasn’t thinking the second but that would be an example. I would say conversations with men over this topic is a lot easier than you would expect. There is support there. Bringing up with women who want a men to not cry or be sensitive can be difficult.
I’d refer to “toxic masculinity” or “the manosphere” if that’s what you meant.
I mean, I think there’s a time and a place for crying and it’s not usually in public, but if you are among a support network, then by all means.
That said, after a devastating breakup for me, I have cried in public, at a party, among strangers, and it sucked.
What I would like to see is just more camaraderie in general. Not bro culture per se, just more, social events. Kinda like the beer halls of yesteryear in Germany or the Shriners clubs. I feel like a lot of these rotaries, lions, etc, just have kind of fallen away in most towns, particularly for young people, and I really think we are losing a piece of our community because of it.
Meetups used to fill some of that gap for me, but it’s been way too long (and two moves) since I’ve been to one. And I’m not the type to go to church (believe me, I tried - the whole women lesser than men thing around here really turned me off).
I’m one of those weirdos, 50/50 introvert extrovert. And now with a family, it’s tougher than ever.
Ironically, I’ve only experienced the second one from other men.
Same, actually.
Lmao this is already getting brigaded -10 votes op. Just for asking a question. But yeah i just laugh it off as crazy feminist agenda sad femcel shit. My current gf was a strong feminist when we met but eventually she stopped socializing with feminists and has a more healthy mindset and works on improving herself and our home instead of the hyperfocus on misandry. I never really talked her out of it, she just grew out of it.
I don’t think it’s brigades, I think people just generally didn’t like the tone. I didn’t vote on this post but I did question the OP’s experience and intent when asking so bluntly and describing it as “marginalization”.
And more to the point, comments such as yours, which equate “feminism” with “misandry” are likely a bigger contributor to why people don’t appreciate this post overall.
That comment didn’t equate them, but rather associated them.
And they are associated.
At the extreme ends, sure. But we can’t discuss them as if they’re representative of the general concept. I don’t go around identifying myself as a feminist unprompted but I do believe in equality for all. And I don’t see how that means us men will suddenly have to be second class next to women. It’s equality, it’s equal. I’m not suggesting we shift who’s in power but rather we should balance it evenly.
Do you see where I’m coming from at all?
I completely ignore it and it doesn’t affect me one bit.
Not sure if I know what the term means and if I ever experienced it.
It’s sexism/gender-specific hatred towards men, where misogyny would be the same toward women.
I think it does, especially when it’s by people who like to pretend they do it for some kind of equality. Have been thinking about quitting social media for a while, I generally don’t like the subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) hatred towards men.
On one hand it makes you feel sorry for the women of the past who went through this for much longer than we have (and in many more parts of life than I did), on the other hand fuck the misandrists, I never discriminated against women, not sure why I should be called out for what rich and powerful did.
And there’s one last thing that kinda scares me, the young teen men look so depressed nowadays, I honestly wouldn’t want to be a teen these days. I think my teens were at the best possible time (at least when it comes to this, not such a great time if you ever dreamed of owning a house) - we were taught to treat women as equals but no one made us a public enemy on social media for being men.
I deal with it with grace, understanding, and compassion. I’m gay, but as a white cis man I still have obscene amounts of privilege. I feel a bit like a double agent. I’m a minority, but as I move through the world I am afforded all of the privilege that patriarchy can offer. And I can say with full confidence, the misandry I encounter pales in comparison to the homopohobia I encounter. This goes for online as well as irl. And “pales in comparison” is inadequate. It’s so not even on the same playing field. They are not even comparable. I get it. It’s rougher to be a straight man than it’s ever been. I routinely get “mistreated” because I’m a bearded white guy who looks like Steve from Minnesota. But having a woman be less polite to me now and then is nowhere near what I go through as a queer. Especially growing up. I used to pray every night for god to kill me. Because I am queer. Not because I am a man. And I’ve tried to explain this to my brothers, and they don’t get it and can’t help but feel like the victim in all of this. And I bet you will align with them. But hopefully someone reading this will hear it. Yes, you are struggling. But fucking cope. Cope. Sharpen your coping skills. Because you have still been spared in a way you can’t even comprehend.
This may be a boring answer but I don’t deal with it simply because I’m not drawn to online spaces where it occurs. I don’t know what I would do if I did experience misandry. Leave? Engaging probably wouldn’t help.
I don’t deal with it at all cuz I don’t have the time to spend searching for hours to find some.
the misandry is upsetting but not debilitating, the antisemitism is debilitating
it’s tough being a white man in America these days.
In all seriousness the deck is so stacked in my favor that the small amount of misandry there may be wouldn’t bother me at all. Generally the only way I’m underprivileged (adhd) is largely hidden. I don’t believe I’ve ever encountered misandry in real life. Online I’ve come across it occasionally, but it tends to be in niche communities I’m not a part of that I’ve stumbled on. And honestly there is so much misogyny that pervades our society that I’m inclined to give them a bit of a pass.
There’s a bit of institutional misandry. Not a lot compared to bigotry against other groups, but it pops up every now and then.
If you’re encountering this and can link to a thread where it happened to you, that might help some of us understand is going on. Maybe it’s a matter of interaction style, background beliefs, or topic areas or user cultures that you get involved with. I’m mostly in nerdy areas where it hasn’t been much of an issue, or alternatively, it’s an issue that I’m too oblivious to notice.
I had to google what that even means.
I’m more or less unaffected by it. This sort of opinions only matter to me when it’s coming from someone whose opinion has some value to me. The views of a random internet user are practically meaningless to me. Any hateful or idiotic comment directed at me or anyone else just gets the user blocked and I move on. Offence is taken, not given.
Anytime anyone says “mansplaining” you are witnessing it.
Yup, happens. Girls use mansplaining as an excuse to not listen and avoid comprehending something just because of the gender speaking. Really rude when they interrupt too.
Does it affect me negatively? sure. Does it affect me on a personal level? Absolutely not. I guess I view it with a kind of sad condescension, like: “I’m sorry society is so fucked up that you feel it necessary to lash out like that. I’m trying my best, but I’m only one man.” Now that I think about it, I’m not sure what the says about my engagement with system. I’m going to have to ruminate on that…
Down with the patriarchy!
That’s not really condescension imo. Just empathy.
