If I’m driving, and you throw a negative hand gesture at me, I’m going to follow you to see if you’re willing to throw that hand gesture directly in my face.
That might be less shallow and shows that I might have some anger management issues. Certainly pedantic though
Its always amazing to me that the middle finger means anything to anyone beyond playfulness. The only time it ever gets any kind of reaction from me is when its used jokingly/affably, which provokes only a smile and makes me fonder of the person cuz its like an inside joke
For me, my reaction can be a problem. If I keep it up, I’m probably going to get shot. However (and I’ll call it intrusive thoughts) there are so many people that think they’re protected by their armor (cars), but people never expect when other people strip their armor and go “Do it again”. About 80% of my interactions like that have ended with them
Either saying they didn’t do that or they apologize. Both reactions tell me a lot about their character, but it also tells me a lot about my character…
The short and skinny of what has been proven to me, and what I can justify, people think they’re untouchable until the very last second where they know they aren’t untouchable. You treat everyone with courtesy and respect in ever aspect of your life, then there’s no problem. You think you’re more entitled than the next person, then you get what you deserve
Other people call that a hero complex, but me personally… I call that a hero complex haha
Maybe… maybe not. I have a lot of rage built up in me that I haven’t been able to release in a healthy manner. Generally I can push it down, but, just like everyone else, I have my triggers and will absolutely unleash my rage and chaos wins. Sorry for the corny wording. It’s all I could think of haha
This wording is troubling, and suggests that maybe you believe in the catharsis model of anger?
That’s where you believe that anger is “stored” somewhere and “builds up” over time, and must be let out in some “healthy” way later. The problem is, there is no healthy way to express deferred anger.
If you allow yourself some visceral reward for getting angry and fixating on that anger, what you’re doing is training your brain to look for excuses to become angry and stay angry, so that you can get that dopamine hit of “blowing off steam”. It feels like it works, cuz it feels good. But it creates a link between getting angry and feeling good.
Pay attention to whether you have structures in place which are rewarding you for getting angry, and try to replace them with less rewarding, less stimulating responses.
I appreciate your concern, but it’s not like that. I hate when I get that adrenaline spike because it immediately makes me feel like garbage. I get sudden hypoglycemia, and immediately need to eat something, and (since I just learned I have Polycythemia) my whole body gets gross and sweaty and red and overheated.
It’s just not a good time for me. I have a justification in my head of why I can go off like that, but it’s mine
This response is literally road rage. (Given the discussion about literally vs figuratively elsewhere in the thread, I genuinely mean literally).
Road rage is dangerous for you, the other driver, and other bystanders on the road. Please reassess how you respond to perceived aggressions and slights while driving. The only time you should escalate is if another road user is actively putting others in harm’s way (e.g. DUI) and even then the best course of action is probably calling your local authorities for them to handle the situation. If the situation is not severe enough to warrant a 911 call, your focus should be on de-escalation (before it turns into a situation that is).
Pretty sure I covered your whole comment with “I might have anger management issues”
And to me, no. It’s not just road rage. It’s the potential of belittling people because of what is most likely misunderstanding or miscommunication. Everyone is guilty of those daily, but if you treat people as a villian or a lesser because of what could be a misunderstanding, and physically express gestures, then how are with expressing those gestures in person. To me, most people treat others like that because they think they’re either infallible in the situation, infallible period, or they believe there are no repercussions to their actions. When I lose my temper, I go out of my way to prove them all wrong
There’s a huge difference between losing your temper when controlling a digital go-kart versus a real-life one-ton vehicle.
It’s a good first step that you recognize this is a problem, but it needs to be followed up with actions you can take when it occurs. In the case of driving, if your impulse is to follow the driver who pissed you off, you need to get off the road at the very first safe opportunity (a side street, a freeway exit, a parking lot, whatever) to give yourself a chance to cool down and both mentally and physically distance yourself from the situation. It doesn’t matter how much of a jerk the other party is (again, unless they are actively putting people in danger, in which case you should be pulling over to call emergency services); when you’re on the road the only thing you should be concerned with is your own behavior. There is zero justification for escalation; you are not teaching the other person a lesson, you are putting people’s lives at risk over a minor slight.
I used to work in transportation and you wouldn’t believe the horror stories. Please don’t underestimate how quicky and easily road rage situations can turn ugly; it’s never worth it.
Just because you called it out and this is a thread about pedantry: road rage is an idiomatic phrase, which is a type of figurative language. So, you were using literally to emphasize figurative language rather than try to clarify you weren’t using the idiomatic meaning of the phrase but rather a literal.
Weird thing is that I perceived that my statement was related to pedanticism. I’ll agree I’m not a pedantic in a traditional sense, but road rules and environment can potentially be pedantic because there are certain rules that need to be followed to ensure proper road etiquette. I.e. following distance, mental condition, speeding, lane discipline, and courtesy to other drivers
And I’m not questioning your intelligence, but pedanticism is a difficult word today. It means “the qualities of a pedant”
I didn’t say your statement was pedantic. Just that you specifically called out your use of literally as not used in a figurative sense and that this thread in general is about pedantry. Those two things together made it seem not totally insufferable to point out that literal was actually being applied to figurative language.
Probably. And the biggest thing that convinces me to stand down is that they’re random strangers and don’t deserve my psychotic wrath. And me and the other people can thank my wife. She is the only one that can say something to bring me back to reality, but I don’t know what will happen if she’s not around
If I’m driving, and you throw a negative hand gesture at me, I’m going to follow you to see if you’re willing to throw that hand gesture directly in my face.
That might be less shallow and shows that I might have some anger management issues. Certainly pedantic though
Its always amazing to me that the middle finger means anything to anyone beyond playfulness. The only time it ever gets any kind of reaction from me is when its used jokingly/affably, which provokes only a smile and makes me fonder of the person cuz its like an inside joke
For me, my reaction can be a problem. If I keep it up, I’m probably going to get shot. However (and I’ll call it intrusive thoughts) there are so many people that think they’re protected by their armor (cars), but people never expect when other people strip their armor and go “Do it again”. About 80% of my interactions like that have ended with them Either saying they didn’t do that or they apologize. Both reactions tell me a lot about their character, but it also tells me a lot about my character…
The short and skinny of what has been proven to me, and what I can justify, people think they’re untouchable until the very last second where they know they aren’t untouchable. You treat everyone with courtesy and respect in ever aspect of your life, then there’s no problem. You think you’re more entitled than the next person, then you get what you deserve
Other people call that a hero complex, but me personally… I call that a hero complex haha
You are a fascinating person. I don’t mean that in a negative way.
I’ve certainly been called worse haha
Sounds like you’re doing more damage to yourself than the stranger did.
Maybe… maybe not. I have a lot of rage built up in me that I haven’t been able to release in a healthy manner. Generally I can push it down, but, just like everyone else, I have my triggers and will absolutely unleash my rage and chaos wins. Sorry for the corny wording. It’s all I could think of haha
Settle down, Dennis Reynolds.
Had to search your reference. I hate Always Sunny
This wording is troubling, and suggests that maybe you believe in the catharsis model of anger?
That’s where you believe that anger is “stored” somewhere and “builds up” over time, and must be let out in some “healthy” way later. The problem is, there is no healthy way to express deferred anger.
If you allow yourself some visceral reward for getting angry and fixating on that anger, what you’re doing is training your brain to look for excuses to become angry and stay angry, so that you can get that dopamine hit of “blowing off steam”. It feels like it works, cuz it feels good. But it creates a link between getting angry and feeling good.
Pay attention to whether you have structures in place which are rewarding you for getting angry, and try to replace them with less rewarding, less stimulating responses.
I appreciate your concern, but it’s not like that. I hate when I get that adrenaline spike because it immediately makes me feel like garbage. I get sudden hypoglycemia, and immediately need to eat something, and (since I just learned I have Polycythemia) my whole body gets gross and sweaty and red and overheated.
It’s just not a good time for me. I have a justification in my head of why I can go off like that, but it’s mine
Right on, friend. Take care. And I’m sorry you’re getting kind of a rough response to being so vulnerable here.
It’s just fake internet points. If people have a negative opinion about me, then that’s their mental energy to waste, but thanks for the support
This response is literally road rage. (Given the discussion about literally vs figuratively elsewhere in the thread, I genuinely mean literally).
Road rage is dangerous for you, the other driver, and other bystanders on the road. Please reassess how you respond to perceived aggressions and slights while driving. The only time you should escalate is if another road user is actively putting others in harm’s way (e.g. DUI) and even then the best course of action is probably calling your local authorities for them to handle the situation. If the situation is not severe enough to warrant a 911 call, your focus should be on de-escalation (before it turns into a situation that is).
Pretty sure I covered your whole comment with “I might have anger management issues”
And to me, no. It’s not just road rage. It’s the potential of belittling people because of what is most likely misunderstanding or miscommunication. Everyone is guilty of those daily, but if you treat people as a villian or a lesser because of what could be a misunderstanding, and physically express gestures, then how are with expressing those gestures in person. To me, most people treat others like that because they think they’re either infallible in the situation, infallible period, or they believe there are no repercussions to their actions. When I lose my temper, I go out of my way to prove them all wrong
There’s a huge difference between losing your temper when controlling a digital go-kart versus a real-life one-ton vehicle.
It’s a good first step that you recognize this is a problem, but it needs to be followed up with actions you can take when it occurs. In the case of driving, if your impulse is to follow the driver who pissed you off, you need to get off the road at the very first safe opportunity (a side street, a freeway exit, a parking lot, whatever) to give yourself a chance to cool down and both mentally and physically distance yourself from the situation. It doesn’t matter how much of a jerk the other party is (again, unless they are actively putting people in danger, in which case you should be pulling over to call emergency services); when you’re on the road the only thing you should be concerned with is your own behavior. There is zero justification for escalation; you are not teaching the other person a lesson, you are putting people’s lives at risk over a minor slight.
I used to work in transportation and you wouldn’t believe the horror stories. Please don’t underestimate how quicky and easily road rage situations can turn ugly; it’s never worth it.
Just because you called it out and this is a thread about pedantry: road rage is an idiomatic phrase, which is a type of figurative language. So, you were using literally to emphasize figurative language rather than try to clarify you weren’t using the idiomatic meaning of the phrase but rather a literal.
Weird thing is that I perceived that my statement was related to pedanticism. I’ll agree I’m not a pedantic in a traditional sense, but road rules and environment can potentially be pedantic because there are certain rules that need to be followed to ensure proper road etiquette. I.e. following distance, mental condition, speeding, lane discipline, and courtesy to other drivers
And I’m not questioning your intelligence, but pedanticism is a difficult word today. It means “the qualities of a pedant”
A pedant is a person obsessed with small details
I didn’t say your statement was pedantic. Just that you specifically called out your use of literally as not used in a figurative sense and that this thread in general is about pedantry. Those two things together made it seem not totally insufferable to point out that literal was actually being applied to figurative language.
Fair enough. You make a good point, and again, you are a very intelligent person. At no point were my intentions to insult that
Not shallow or pedantic, just psychotic.
Well. Then you should know you’re sharing the road with me
Oh I’m well-aware. You should know you’re a poison to society.
Been called a lot of things. Poison to society is a new one. So what exactly makes me poison?
https://lemm.ee/comment/13433292
Maybe you should read up on stoicism.
Allowing someone else’s action control your actions is a massive waste of time, let alone a great way to attract trouble.
Probably. And the biggest thing that convinces me to stand down is that they’re random strangers and don’t deserve my psychotic wrath. And me and the other people can thank my wife. She is the only one that can say something to bring me back to reality, but I don’t know what will happen if she’s not around
Seems to me you’re on a good path. Keep it up.