The story must be true, you can’t fake the story. You can exaggerate parts of it, but you can’t completely make shit up. You’re allowed to omit small awkward moments, but you can’t omit major events.
Mine is probably gonna be a two part movie. Part one is the history already behind me. It’s gonna tragic and dark AF, and probably cringe, but probably gonna get a lot of pity points because of how fucked up it is. Probably like 7.5/10 at least.
Idk if I’d like it, because it’d include my darkest moments.
Then for part 2… yea idk if that’ll ever come. Probably in 5 decades (or earlier if I die).
I feel like part 2 is gonna suck. I’m gonna have the craziest childhood ever, so much build up in backstory, then part 2 doesn’t end up justifying the movies, because I’m not gonna be able to achieve much in life, and its just gonna become another shitty slice of life. Probably 4/10 for part 2, at least that’s what I’m predicting.
Depends tho. If I get murdered while doing political activities or become a martyr, part 2 could turn into a 8/10 movie. Otherwise I’m just gonna die of illness or old age which is a very boring movie. GoT style botched ending lol.
Mine would definitely be a psychological horror/thriller
B flick about a transmom that smokes weed and plays video games, has no friends, is sex-starved, and is waiting for death. 3% on Rotten Tomatoes.
If Daria got a movie and it did pretty well, surely you can.
2/5, completely unbelievable story telling. The script relies too much on random events to advance the story and create drama.
I will like it a great deal. My life like many folk’s lives is a series of befores and afters.
My Teenager years before I got my drivers license and after.
My young adult hood of before and after going to undergrad.
Before and after the Army and so on.
All of it is good story with its ups ad downs.
It’s got some amazing moments, but a lot of them aren’t related to the plot, and they’d get cut. What’s left would leave people wondering why they bothered watching.
You could probably cut a pretty watchable white-man version of How Stella Got Her Groove Back with all the best bits. I wouldn’t call my life a romance, but most of the best bits have been romance-adjacent.
Straight to DVD
“The beginning was kind of interesting, but man he got turned down a lot. The middle to end was really boring though. Who films 1 1/2 hours of a single guy going to work then coming home and sitting at a computer?”
A cautionary tale about what happens when your parents worry too little and society thinks ADHD means exclusively hyperactive boy trouble makers. An important but exhausting and depressing movie that nobody watches.
It would get panned for having such an unbearable protagonist. Both boring and incompetent, he bungles his way through one tedious life event after another. Nothing of meaningful consequence happens.
4/5 - coming of age film about a scrawny, scrappy poor kid. Opening shot is a fight against other kids in a trailer park to level up in status. Or maybe even earlier to my mom standing there pregnant, and then her mom punching her in the stomach upon finding out her teen daughter, though as much as she had tried to shut her away, had somehow gotten herself knocked up. And then following the resulting trail of blood. Regardless, it starts out by getting the shit kicked out of me a few times.
Sprinkle in the multiple times I almost died, slipping on wet cement that had just been coated with muriatic acid, that time a demented kid tightened a noose around my neck, the countless nights I’d wake gasping for air with my chest heaving because we had a cat urine and roach problem and couldn’t afford an inhaler. That one time two girls thought it would be funny to see how long they could hold me underwater, at a pool, of course unsupervised, and only stopping just so as things faded to black and all I heard was this saint of a kid saying to them “Stop! He’s dying!” Nary a parent in sight.
The sex, the drugs the drinking all at 13.
The divorce, the handoffs from family member to family member moving each year. Finally settling into a mountain town in rural Appalachia. Having a town general store purveyor of goods taking me under his wing. Learning a passion for the outdoors and skiing.
Going mudding in a Honda Accord with a bunch of other delinquents. Going streaking after we got stuck. Flash forward to a court house and nearly going to jail for vandalism and other stupid teenage mistakes.
Going back to the area I was raised and finding that everyone had 2 kids and a drinking problem…or worse.
Flash forward to the struggles of leaving my past behind. Failing out of university after 9/11. Constantly watching those two planes smash onto the twin towers in a dark dormitory until it was etched into mind.
And then more struggle to leave my past behind as I sought out a soulmate. Dropping out of the Peace Corps due to it.
Quitting my job and finding a love for cycling. Being given a dog who hated where’s, but even she eventually fell in love with cycling. The smartest, best damn dog in the world.
Nearly dying another handful of times. Motorcycle in the mountain roads of Tennessee, more motorcycle, sliding in the snow with a big rig behind, wrecking it the one dumbass time I went for a joyride after drinks. being on the 3rd floor of a house as it collapsed on a rainy day in high winds and getting out mostly unscathed.
Discovering a love for travel. Still trying to escape my past, but working on it, like really really working on it.
Could call it something like “The dirtbag’s field.guide to survival, part one.”
Dark comedy, poorly received but with a small cult following. Lots of ups, downs, fun, sadness, questions, stupidity, and rage. Regular life with a lot of weird (but great) moments and internal snippets of the movie Falling Down.
There are a few interesting parts. I don’t know if it would make a good movie but the music is pretty good.
Man, they’re gonna have a hell of a time trying to turn me into a likable, sympathetic protagonist, but sure, give it a shot.
3/10 - So many bad decisions, I found myself shouting at the screen. Feel bad movie of the year.
Honestly, I’d like to see my life on the big screen. Every story I write, and characters I make, have elements of what I have experienced on my life, so a realistic depiction of my life could be interesting.
To boil down the plot: Kid growing up in awful conditions (and I mean awful), with shitty but compelling parents. Does a lot terrible stuff when growing up and eventually meets an equally (maybe slightly more) broken person. Together they learn to love the other and themselves.
The movie wouldn’t be afraid to depict those terrible moments, so you could truly get to see how awful that person was, and decide for yourself whether they deserve the good things happening in their life, or deserve the punishment they never got. I think that’d be my goal. To show myself as transparently as possible, without pushing my representation either way, to see how people would react to me leaving my past behind and finding happiness.
The movie would also heavily touch in the subjects of: SA and CSA, religion trauma, neurodivergence, mental ilnesses and late diagnosis, the true impact of divorced parents, a shaky gender journey, terrible and extremely cringeworthy teen romance, paired with the most complex strangers-to-friends-to-lovers-to-friends-to-enemies-to-strangers-to-friends-to-lovers-to-it’s-complicated you’ve ever seen, and a whole lot of self loathing.
I’d also invest big on music. Music means so much to me and that has to be reflected on the movie.
I think the movie could become somewhat of a success thanks to the controversy it would spark. I estimate a 50% of people would side with the protagonist and praise the movie for showcasing such a raw journey of self improvement, and so many would see themselves reflected on the story and be touched at how despite how unworthy and unlovable you may feel, good things can happen to you.
The other 50% would find the movie outrageous. They would bash it for downplaying the terrible stuff done by the protagonist and how “they never got what they deserved”. They’d preach the movie is harmful for displaying a story with a happy ending for the scum of the earth, and how that is the entire focus of the story and appearently the moral of the story.
