I’m visiting extended family for the first time in a long time, and one of my nieces has reached the impressionable age where she keeps mimicking things that she sees me do. what’s a really funny but fairly harmless thing I should teach her to do?
Teach her to say “I was born on a pirate ship”
Once she’s able to say it properly, tell her to open her mouth with a finger at each corner and say the phrase again. Get her to shout out out
Then tell her to show her new trick to mom and dad.
Teach her to order something off a foreign-language menu, invite the family out to dinner, and see if she can place her order fluently.
Doing the “Five year old white girl shocks waitress by ordering Orange Chicken in perfect Mandarian” bit IRL would be pretty funny and adorable.
It’d be hilarious if you taught her how to code Fortran.
I don’t think his niece is named Fortran, tho
He said harmless
Hey this might make her millions in the future
You sick bastard! Have her do a print loop in BASIC.
- Beatboxing. “Boots and cats and boots and cats”-style.
- The pulling your thumb off trick.
- The Macarena.
- “The Game”. (“You just lost The Game.”)
- Chopsticks on the piano/keyboard/toy xylophone/etc.
- “The Name Game.”
Arm pit farts
Alternatively - hand farts for the times it’s too hot to want to stick a hand in your armpit lol
Seconding hand farts. I’ve never seen anyone wash their hands after doing armpit farts.
Being too hot just makes a better bravado.
The Macarena and/or the YMCA dance, it’s fun for kids to do over and over but harmless.
My niece and nephew loved the “this guy” gag. What’s got two thumbs and thinks you’re the coolest? THIS GUY! and point to yourself with your thumbs.
Nah here it’s Good guy/Wank
Teach her that, it’s an important life lesson
Do the burp trick by swallowing air, and then giggle uncontrollably.
A buddy of mine taught his 5 yr old daughter to tell people “One time, at band camp…I stuck a flute in my…” *long pause* “nose”.
And he gets joy remembering all of the people go wide-eyed waiting for that next word out of her mouth.
Just hope he’s prepared for when she finds out the quote’s origin
Assembly
End every other sentence with ~ nya ~
Dad jokes or anti jokes maybe? Math formulas? A foreign language?
I’ve thought my niece that policemen go “oink oink” and that pigs go “You have the right to remain silent!”
I’ve thought that too.
Lockpicking
Using Linux
Media piracy
Feeding the homeless
Wheatpasting / graffiti
Political theory
Shoplifting from corporate chains
First Aid
Legal observation
Black bloc tactics
Guerilla gardening
Spotting plainclothes cops / informants
Dialectical Materialism
You have a weird sense of humor.
I’m a weird sort of person. 😺
Seconding lockpocking. Easy to learn, tactile feedback (very kid friendly!), can absolutely annoy parents. But be careful to teach children not to do anything that’ll seriously get them into trouble
She could configure linux from scratch
Idk about some of these given the age bracket, but Spot the Fed is fun for the whole family.
Juggling ? beginning with two balls is fairly easy and is a slippery gateway to more balls