My SO and I discussed that engagement rings shouldn’t be expensive.
What should I look for in good value rings? Lab grown diamonds? Fake diamonds? gold? white gold? silver? platinum?
We went with moissanite, and everyone thinks its an insanely expensive diamond
Moissanite is sparklier than diamond, so for what people look at in rings, it ends up looking better than diamond
If they’ve got favorite colors or colors that hold special meaning to them, prioritize gems with those colors over diamonds.
Even elaborate pieces will still be cheaper than an equivalent diamond ring because the prices are that overinflated for those things.
Also if they like purple, see if you can get the body of the ring in purple gold if it’s in the budget, might not be as much of a cost conscious choice as seeking alternative gems but it’ll look sick!
If it doesn’t give her the ick and she likes the classic styles, used jewelry is the way to go. It’s already had the “walk out of store” depreciation and I think engravings on most rings are pretty easy to replace.
As a more personal recommendation, when I ahem “outgrew” my own engagement ring and was too lazy/cheap to resize, I got a “temporary” replacement 10? years ago from here. It was supposed to be moissanite in titanium, did an XRF analysis and the band material was some sort of nickel-less maybe steel IIRC. No idea if the moissanite is genuine, but it’s held up way better than any CZ has, and the band has kept better than silver so props to that.
My wife and I picked out her ring together. She has to wear it all the time. I think she should have say in the matter. Ask your partner to help you pick one out.
Same. We made it a date and went downtown to a pawn shop to pick out rings. It’s honestly a great way to find fun rings at not-horrendous prices
Shouldn’t the proposal be a surprise? I was thinking the ring as well?
The fact that the proposal is coming should not be a surprise. Neither should the look and style of the ring. Just shop for it together.
The actual moment of the proposal, if well researched and planned, can be a fun surprise (if your proposee enjoys that kind of surprise. And there’s no need to get fancy. Just ask. Not for permission to propose, but for permission to make it a surprise.)
But even that shouldn’t be too much of a surprise.
Also, make sure it’s a “dress your best” kind of date, so your proposee will feel good about that way they look.
The proposal can still be a surprise, just think of a way to do it where going ring shopping together is the big surprise, rather than the ring itself (if they have a good sense of humour, maybe use a gummy ring or a mood ring, something really silly as a stand in, otherwise maybe a ring shaped “coupon”? Or some other symbolic token that would hold meaning to just the two of you?).
[not OP] I thought about a ring pop. I ended up making a paper ring and quoting Taylor Swift. “I like shiny things but I’d marry you with paper rings”. A normal durable ring followed, but she got to pick it out. As stated above, shevs the one wearing it all the time.
That’s a perfect example of what I meant, it’s cute and personal to your relationship, and leaves the other person room to choose something they’re comfortable with.
Personally I think the ring should be the least important part of a proposal (though I say this as someone who is not interested in getting one, and who also hates wearing rings lol)…
Hi! The proposal itself should be a surprise, but the fact you are proposing should not. You and your partner should discuss marriage and be on the same page on what you want from the relationship before you take that step.
Depends on the individual, some want it as a surprise, some aren’t as concerned about the surprise.
This, it ruins the surprise a bit but also ensures you’ll hear a “yes”
You can always also get a cheaper sentimental ring and go out ring shopping together for the official one.
That way you keep the surprise and she gets the ring she wants, plus another ring and a nice memory.
IMO, an agreement to get married should be a mutual discussion, not a surprise. My wife and I also decided to get married by having a discussion and then went ring shopping together. We went with a blue topaz. Super pretty and didn’t break the bank.
Yeah, but a lot of people come to the agreement that they’ll get married without an official proposal date getting set.
I spent more than I should have about 3 years ago, but I HIGHLY recommend the lab diamonds. I was able to get better quality for less price.
I looked into Moissante, and whether or not you should get that is really up to her. A doofus like me would never know it’s not a diamond, but many people would. Definitely DO NOT try to pass it off as a diamond, because she’ll find out one way or another. If you were proposing to me, (don’t get your hopes up, I’m taken) and told me that we could save a thousand dollars by going with Moissante, I’d be all for it because I’m cheap and tradition doesn’t mean much to me, but most people aren’t like me.
I know it’s tricky to get information without ruining the surprise, so what I did was send her a message while I was at work: “The girls here are having a debate on whether or not a fake diamond is acceptable for an engagement ring. 😂”. Her response told me everything I needed to know about Moissante.
Good luck! Don’t forget to invite us to the wedding!
The surprise shouldn’t be that you’re about to propose. The surprise should be in how you choose to propose.
Unless the ring’s details are part of the surprise (which they could be, if it’s meaningful to the couple), clear and open communication should be preferred
Yeah, my parents already had the wedding booked by the time my dad had proposed 🤣
I used to work at a jewelers. A good quality moissanite is gonna be as close to an actual diamond you can get without getting an actual diamond if that’s what you’re looking for.
As far as metals, gold is the traditional choice but sterling is both less expensive and more durable. If you do go with gold, I would opt for 14 kt over 18 kt personally. The higher the karat number, the purer the gold, which sounds like a good thing but from a practical standpoint is a bit of a PITA because this in effect means higher karats are both more expensive and more fragile because gold is soft. Since typically an engagement ring is worn every day, something that can handle some wear and tear is a plus.
For settings, look for something fairly low with prongs that have a decent heft to them. Tall settings bump into shit ALL THE TIME and eventually the prongs tens to shift and the stone goes flying (again, gold is soft).
Also, look at her other jewelry and talk to her about what her tastes are. There’s no rule that says it “has to be” anything if a more standard ring isn’t her thing. Going with her favorite color or her birthstone and working from there can be a good option.
Alternatively you could consider something that isn’t a ring. My fiancee is very cat coded, I gave her a gold cat bell that she loves and wears all the time. Got it from Mene dot Com which is a bonus because they’re more ethical and transparent about their gold and pay which is something my fiancee is into.
I got one that has another kind of stone as the main stone with cubic zirconias around it. That sort of arrangement isn’t too expensive, and more interesting than a diamond.
Don’t do a plain silver band. They tarnish and cause irritation. The band should be either a metal that doesn’t tarnish, or coated in one.
We got each other rings made off Etsy. Hers are a nesting set that we later bonded
Most of the time we are wearing silicone rings out
I am not sure what you mean with value. Unless you are planning to resell them again, what does the value matter?
I interpreted it as “not getting ripped off”, as I imagine one generally does when buying mined diamonds
If you can, look into local jewelers who can craft you something handmade with ethically sourced stones. I’m in Seattle and we have Valerie Madison who does great engagement sets and Everling Jewelry who uses recycled metals. A local artist will be able to recommend something within your budget, and your SO can and should be involved, as another poster mentioned.
I went the same route, it was significantly less expensive to get a nicer custom ring made by a local jewler I knew, to my spec/design then to get a commodity one from a store.
Diamonds are a commodity like gold and silver. You can buy market value diamonds from a dealer and then have a ring made. Even for synthetic diamonds this is the cheapest way to get a diamond ring.
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Are lab grown okay, value wise? what about moissante?
Both are beautiful, and both are easily distinguishable from natural diamonds for being too perfect. The irony is that natural diamonds increase in value if they have fewer imperfections, but almost no natural diamonds have zero imperfections.
Value-wise, in theory a natural diamond will hold its value over time, but in practice the value of natural diamonds is manipulated by the diamond conglomerates that control the market. We won’t “exhaust the supply” of diamonds in our lifetimes, so there’s not much sense in worrying about the value of the gem either way.
Are any gems “worth it”? That’s between you and your wallet. It’s an entirely superficial item, serving no practical purpose. To paraphrase a modern American philosopher, you can get married with paper rings. The ring is a symbol of your commitment, and as long as your fiancee enjoys wearing it everyday, don’t stress about what other people will think.
I wouldn’t concern myself about a lab diamond being too perfect. I have never met anyone that pulled out a loupe in the restaurant to check. That’s between me and the jeweler.
You’re right, but moisannite can be distinguished without a loupe by a colorful flash. But also anyone knowledgeable enough to spot that at a distance probably does not have the same prejudices against lab-made diamonds. I mean, unless they work for Debeers.
I got my wife a moissanite and it turned out beautiful.
She likes big stones so I got her a 2ct oval one which she loved. Didn’t care much for the technicalities - it looks good, suits her style and that’s all that matters.
And no way you could get a 2ct diamond for 700$.A person who won’t appreciate how you choose to express your love isn’t someone you’d want to marry, anyway.
IMO moissanite is a better idea, looks nicer, fuck debeers. Check out your partners existing jewellery for ideas, see if they tend to prefer gold colour metal or silver coloured
Lab grown are produced under conditions that would get you animal cruelty charges if you subjected your pets to them. And they are separated from their siblings very early in the process and sold off to stores all across the country.
I’m so confused by this comment. Are you trying to say that putting a live animal under extreme pressure and zapping them would constitute animal cruelty?
If you don’t agree, you’re sick in the head!
I’m not disagreeing. I’m confused because I don’t see how it’s relevant to the comment you responded to.
I think they’re making a joke. It has upvotes, so some people seem to like it
Ah, makes sense. Thanks
I went with moissanite and it was perfect. Just don’t go too big or it will be obvious that it’s not a diamond, because normal folks can’t afford huge diamonds.
I went to a local jeweler and they ordered in the moissanite for me, then affixed it to one of their rings. The entire thing was around $350.
Just don’t go too big or it will be obvious that it’s not a diamond, because normal folks can’t afford huge diamonds.
Good point. But as someone who bought a diamond and still regrets it, I hope these younger wiser folks can embrace and normalize avoiding diamonds.
Anytime I see a wedding ring that’s clearly not a diamond, my respect for that union raises immediately.
My wife loves moissanite, we went with etsy and even got her wedding band custom designed in CAD to fit her engagement ring. Manhattan box was the store we used for the band and a UK spot called shinyjungle for engagement ring where she liked a lab grown morganite. She gets a lot of compliments on them. Most cant tell the difference between them and traditional blood diamonds. Cubic zirconia or epoxy based stones are what you dont want.
Don’t listen to commercials… 3 months salary as a guideline … My Ass!
By now you should know her tastes. Or just ask her about it. She’s the one who’s gonna wear it.
I used a sapphire. I’m a ceramic engineer, and sapphire is just alumina, so I think it’s cool, and you can get basically any color you want.
