I’m really enjoying the mental image of a woods-based comedy thriller, a scene in which I’m loading my shotgun while trying to strategically placed myself against a rock or tree. Shouting threats and trying to reason with a squirrel or whatever that was in a tree, I fire off my shotgun, sending dozens of terrified birds and arboreous rodents fleeing and dislodging a barrage of various nuts and mast that rain on me.

“It’s an ambush!” I cry out before pumping my own leg full of ricochet shot off of my hiding post.