• inb4_FoundTheVegan@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      Oh sure, I bet your Great Grandma is a lovely person and I have nothing against her or her name.

      But, it is very much a GREAT GRANDMA sort of name that is super out of date. I would be exactly as critical as a parent naming their child Mildred.

      • blackbrook@mander.xyz
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        4 months ago

        This generational. I’ve seen a number of names I thought of as grandma names come back into fashion. People who are young enough not to have experienced grandmas with those names pick them. Gertrude is a grandma name to me, BTW, not a great-grandma name. I actually had a grandma named Gertrude. Welcome to old. (Edit: my brain glitched from Mildred to Gertrude there. Looking forward to Alzheimers.)

        • Apathy Tree@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          4 months ago

          I low-key hope Agnes doesn’t come back… that’s my middle name… can’t stand it. I know it was my great grandmothers name, but I never met the woman… and it just feels… harsh. (Probs because I only heard it when I was in trouble, or when people were making fun of me)

          Plus side, my mom got talked out of naming me “Elsbeth”, which is a very very defunct precursor to Elizabeth (which she didn’t like)… Since frozen with Elsa, that probably would have been ok, but it didn’t come out until I was in my checks release very late 20s, by which point the damage would have been done.

          But hey I can’t complain too much on the naming lottery… my sister has a fully 100% boys name. Her middle name is a French version of Patrick.

          • VelvetStorm@lemmy.world
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            4 months ago

            I wish my middle name Shay (its the name i go by)would come back or be a thing for men. I’ve only ever met 2 other people in my age range with it, and both were women, and the one person outside of my age range was an old old old woman. I dislike my first name to such a large extent that I choose to go by Shay.

            • Apathy Tree@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              4 months ago

              I feel your pain. I wish I had a better first name or middle name to go by but I’m stuck between a shit place and a shitter place. And none of the nicknames I tried to get assigned actually worked out for me so… I either get nicknames I hate as much as the name itself or nothing. Super fun!

              And if you want to change names, holy fuck, best of luck!

              At least you have something you can relate to? I have never met anyone, of any gender, named Shay. I know that doesn’t necessarily help… but… it’s definitely not something I’d (as a solid middle age sort of person) consider a gendered name. Not more so than Aaron/Erin or any other neutral name…

              • VelvetStorm@lemmy.world
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                4 months ago

                When you meet new people just tell them whatever name you prefer even if it’s not your name. 2ish years ago, I started going by Shay by just telling people that. But there were people who have always known me by my other name, but I just told them I always hated that name, so call me Shay, and I gently corrected them every time they called me by my other name. The only people who still call me by me og name is my wife and my girlfriend(poly relationship not cheating), but they are working on it.

                • Apathy Tree@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                  4 months ago

                  There’s no name I actively want to go by, is the problem. I’ve tried with minor changes but nobody took them and they aren’t things I can just be like “this is me” because it… wouldn’t be actually? I’m envious of people who have the option to choose their own name, or how to apply it. Mine is so short there’s like 2 nickname options and I hate both. Passionately.

                  Best I’ve ever come up with would take a full name change (first middle last) to be worth doing. And that’s not worth doing.

                  I’m super glad it was effective for you, though, honestly that’s what matters. If it matters enough that you have a preference, it matters. My preference is just “anything else please” and that’s not a good option for most people, which… legit.

                  No judgement on your relationships, whatever works. I haven’t the energy to be weird about it :)

                  • VelvetStorm@lemmy.world
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                    4 months ago

                    Well, im sorry to hear that. I get how you feel, and I hope it can change for you if that’s what you want. Ya polyamory is hard work and a lot of communication, but it can be super rewarding when it works.