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Cloaks would be cool. I know that’s more of a fantasy aesthetic than a medieval one but they are cool enough that it shouldn’t matter.
I have a cloak vendor bookmarked. I haven’t pulled the trigger because I don’t know if I wanna be the cloak guy, but dammit I want a cloak.
You can’t just say this without posting the link to the cloak vendor!
They’re so cool but yeah it’s so “out there”.
My big wool cloak is my absolute favorite winter garment. It is unbelievably warm and cozy, blocks wind better than any other coat I own, and as an added bonus I can wrap someone else up in it with me to keep THEM warm.
I am unabashedly the cloak girl. Bring back cloaks!
I got a wool blanket. I’m sure there’s away to fold/drape into a cloak.
Just looked into it. just need a pin!
Cloaks are actually quite historical, they’re very easy to make and useful in a variety of conditions.
There’s quite a community on reddit about bringing cloaks back: https://old.reddit.com/r/TheCapeRevolution/
Medieval aesthetics also really had cloaks, but big detached hoods were more common.
These are pretty cool too!
gonna find some merry men and get a band going!
Grand journeys to far off lands. The kind of journey where someone who is “exotic” and personable can make a life for themselves by being the court foreigner.
Also: Judicial duels. They are unjust, unethical, and unproductive, but damn if I don’t want to see white collar criminals have to fight the selected champion of all the folks they ripped off. Of course, being a billionaire would probably buy you a pretty good champion yourself, so we’d also have to bring back old concepts of honor to compel them to represent themselves.
I’m not sure about trial by combat. White collar criminals can just pay for a champion to represent them, and if they had to represent themselves they could certainly afford to switch up their schedules a bit so as to be well-trained in combat.
Oh, judicial duels have always been bad, tending to favor the wealthy who can afford training. The pistol duel was once considered egalitarian because you were just as likely to miss your opponent regardless of how much you trained. For most of the 20th century (until the 90s) Uruguay had legalized dueling. It was mostly used by politicians and the powerful to muder journalists and lawyers who “defamed” them.
But if we are already living in a period where the rich act with impunity anyway, I want a world where there’s a nonzero chance that we get to watch Elon Musk take an estoc to the face because of a twitter argument.
Receiving land for farting good.
Regicide.
Sorcery, alchemy, soothsaying, baby. Come one come all I’ll cure what ails you. I’ll summon portals and turn lead into #gold.
Or maybe the town crier. Hear ye, hear ye, elon musk hast tweeted about his balls.
To be fair, quacks that claim to be able to do magical stuff are still around, some do quite well well for themselves even
Trebuchets - the superior siege engine. (Disclaimer: probably not medieval)
Nah you’re spot on there. Trebuchets are absolutely mediaeval.
Invented in ancient China.
… During the medieval period…
I think when most people talk about trebuchets, they more specifically mean a counterweight trebuchet, which is first concretely attributed to the Ayyubids in the 12th century.
Well to be fair, for the intended use of yeeting landlords, burgies and their political pawns over fairly large distances traction trebuchet would be much worse.
Ha! Good point.
Mediaeviael
you ok there bud?
k
Guess that makes me king of my own domain! 😆
I would love it if taverns became a thing again, but only if they kept the time period theme up.
They’re just called pubs nowadays and many of them are still in business, with drink, food and music downstairs, and rooms for sleeping upstairs.
The one in my neighbourhood is newly reopened and serves fancy craft beer these days, but the basics are actually pretty much unchanged since a tavern first opened in that house sometime in the 1640s.
Taverns kind of are a thing, they’re just called hotels now.
Unfortunately they have a significantly lower focus on alcohol and food - a stark lack of mead and mutton in particular.
Guillotines.
It goes Yah
This might fit in mediaeval times, with the earliest possible recorded use in the 13th century, but it’s certainly not well-known until the early modern period and most famous right on the border between early and late modern.
That wasn’t really a thing in medieval times. I’m afraid an axe will have to do.
It was an instrument used by the burghers in bringing about the end of European feudal lordship, replacing the feudal mode of production with the capitalist one.
It’s okay, we’re getting rid of history lessons too!
Trebuchet?
Of course! It’s the superior siege engine.
Imagine using this for execution
Especially when you could hold a vote, letting the people decide the method. One option: yeet the person from the trebuchet. The second: yeet something at them from a trebuchet!
Bring outchyo
deadvote!!Yeet a person at this person from a trebuchet!
First used in ancient China around IV century BC.
We can get tripantium though, advanced evolution of it invented in XIII century France.
And the billionaires will be the first to try it out!
Sic semper tyrranis
Having most of the year off for festivals and holy days
Good news: take up subsistence farming, no healthcare, no electricity, and make everything yourself, and you too can have half the year “off”.
So you think in order for people to not work their lives away we would have to take up subsistence farming? With all the tech and machines we have the only viable way to not be a company man is to give away all of the luxuries we currently have?
How’s that Kool aid tasting?
take up subsistence farming
Where?
Plenty of places you can do this. Put “homesteading” into a search engine of your choice and you’ll get more information on the topic than you can handle.
You’ll also pretty quickly realize its a very hard, tedious life and we have it pretty good in many ways in the modern world.
Japan sells rural land for cheap
Getting the visa is another story though.
Gotta buy land first. Like 10 acers if you want to grow most of your own food.
Is Alaska still giving away free land?
No, but it’s like a dollar per square meter if you’re remote enough…
Don’t threaten me with a good time
I mean the reality was that the time “off” was spent farming their own land, taking care of animals, fixing the house and doing the insane number of household tasks that come with premodern living. Spend a few days just cooking in a medieval style, and you’ll quickly realize it’s a LOT of work.
Meh,
- They had horrible healthcare they couldn’t afford and WE have horrible healthcare we can’t afford
- They spent a lot of time at festivals and with their communities helping each other and WE spend a lot of time chatting on our phones, but mostly playing games.
- They spent a lot of time outdoors doing a lot of work but keeping active, and we can sometimes go for hikes or walks, but we’re Americans, we as a whole, don’t.
- They knew how an could fix things around the farm, we can watch youtube videos unless it’s electronic or DRM.
- They had witch hunts and misinformation and WE have witch hunts and misinformation.
- All of the food they grew was organic but they had to grow it themselves and we have to pay an arm and a leg for non-poisoned food.
- They spent all day working for the king and we spend all day working for billionaires.
- They have poor starving people during famines, we have a too big percentage of poor starving people (13% of US population was food insecure during 2023).
- They had xenophobia and WE have xenophobia.
When you delve into the details of what those bullet points actually entailed, they were all far far worse in medieval times.
All of the food they grew was organic
Without someone inspecting the water and the soil, how safe was it? ♪♫ Hello typhoid my old friend… ♫♪
Except for that, yeah. We still have listeria outbreaks, etc. that kill people. It’s not like we’ve moved on from that, and that’s with all of the poisoned food to make it “safer.”
Medieval cooking sounds a little bit fun. Besides, maybe, all the slaughtering of animals and heavy use of entrails.
And gathering your own firewood, and water, and making twice as much to prepare for winter, and the strongly reduced options.
I mean yeah, it IS fun for a bit, I do medieval reenactment, obviously I enjoy it. But doing it every day absolutely sucks.
Guillotines for kings
Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords as a basis for a system of government.
something something ‘watery tart’ something.
You know how to kill any party? Start quoting Monty Python.
He’s being oppressed! Come see the violence inherent in the system!
Who are you, who are so wise in the ways of science?
What has Monty Python ever done for us?
You sound like a moistened bint to me. Care to decree some governmental officials while you’re here?
The woman = Amy Coney Barrett
The pond = DC swamp
The sword = Official acts
Strange woman here, anyone knows where I can buy swords in bulk, preferably with a pond thrown in? It’s for… a personal project.
Are we to believe that famous actress Margot Robbie doesn’t have some sort of connection for bulk medieval weaponry?
I am shocked and dismayed.
Have you tried your local Swords 'R Us? I hear there’s a July 4 blowout sale this week. Use promo code Pond50 for half of your pond!
Free time
You seriously think they had more free time?
Debtor’s prisons
Oh this one’s coming, no doubt. Perhaps not in the same mode - it won’t be a home to starve in. More like debt prison slavery
