Lick

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Pound.

Sing

I’m ok with napping until I’m disqualified.

If it’s official moves only, metronome because the randomness would be perfect.

If we’re including custom moves people have created, I would absolutely do my better version of metronome. It’s better because it contains only 1 turn attacking moves in its move pool. Every single one of them, so I’d have just as likely of a chance of being hit by ember as I would oblivion wing or sludge bomb or rock slide.

Seduce

Self-destruct.

You don’t even need to be a Pokemon to do it. I’ve been succeeding at this move for years.

I probably would end up in limbo getting splashed by Magikarp

Sand Attack

Leech seed. Just lay down and go to sleep 🥲

Rest.

Goodnight 😪💤

Quick attack after being endeavored by a level 1 ratata holding a focus sash.

Hyper Beam. It’d probably be quick. Or maybe guillotine.

False Swipe.

If I’m going out, at least break the rules of reality.