I figured a close stereotype for men, would be that they should all be farmers. The thing is, there are under two million farmers in the US as of 2023. So statistically, an equivalent occupation/role should have a larger number.
That every man has to be a breadearner, a handyman and be able to physically defend their home&family.
Anecdotal, being from Louisiana, this is what I’ve been pressured with my entire life.
As Red Green put it:
If women don’t find you handsome, they should at least find you handy!
The direct analogue would be “men should single handedly provide income to support a family”. So not farming necessarily, but men are pressured to be something other than just men, they get defined by their jobs more. Be a businessman, a farmer, a soldier. Women get defined more by their relationships to other people - a mom, a wife. Both of these are problematic in their own way.
In my area it would be something like “Men should go to war”.
“Men should all love football.”
Everyone should love football
Wait, which football? The one they play with their hands, or the one they play with their feet?
Handegg
There is only one football, and it is played by the country that has been to the Moon 6 times and won two world wars.
Doing manual labor in general, not just farming. Or being in charge at work
Men should be climbing the corporate ladder
Aside… as a technical expert, can I just mention that the fact that we envision it as a “corporate ladder” is the biggest fucking load of bullshit?
I can confidently state that I’m much more competent than my fucking CEO.
It’s more like a pyramid
It’s more like a puddle - my point is that hierarchies are bullshit.
Sounds like a scheme
no, its not a pyramid!! its called multi-level companies!!
Men should all be (the sole) breadwinners.
“Women should be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen” transcribes to “Men should be shirtless and mentally ill in the garage.”
Does being mentally ill in my own room count too?
As a millennial, if I could afford a house, I PROMISE you I wouldn’t also be able to afford mental health treatments, or a shirt.
So this tracks…if I could get a house.
Honestly, us millenials not having houses is probably a huge win for climate change… if I had the space to setup up a forge and learn metalworking I don’t think I’d be able to resist. “But I can do it in minecraft…”
Oh my god. We’re going to have a story soon where a bunch of 35 year olds buy a vacant plot of land, and then dig downwards. Then they’ll disrupt some plumbing, or cables run underground, or gas pipes. SOMETHING bad will be cut, and when they get questioned, they’ll say they were strip mining for diamonds.
So… wanna go in on a vacant plot of land?
Obviously!
Clearly you just need to be a man and work harder and more hours, at the expense of your mental health, to be a better provider because that is your only value to your family. The more emotionally shut-off and weekday war-torn you are, the better the space in which you can escape work and home stress by self-isolating and self-medicating with alcohol. Your chosen man-cave is totally not a place to hide your emotional breakdowns where you silently sob as you suffer the masculine burdens of building stress and feelings of inadequacy alone. Just remember, communicating your feelings is what women do; men dig their grave faster and deeper because that takes manly strength.
…with the exception of having a family vs living alone, you just described what my life would be life without medical issues. I mean,it’s still mostly what you said. You just left out the part about not affording to be able to pay medical bills too.
You made the classic weak feminine male mistake of going to the doctor. A real man never goes to the doctor because you are fine and you just need to be strong and it will go away because it is just a benign affliction. You can’t burden your family with worry or medical debt if you don’t go to the doctor, that’s just science. Weak men are worried about their health before it is too late, strong men fight treatable or curable undiagnosed illnesses until it kills them like a man. Just remember, a real man gets diagnosed before retirement by a coroner.
Retirement??? No. My generation doesn’t get that.
Who said it needs to be your garage?
A “garage” means any space a man can claim as his own to self-isolate and cry quietly in. Be it a garage, basement, shed, or man-cave. As long as he can suffer silently and nobody knows, he is a strong man and every strong man needs his “garage”.
I’m a Millenial with a house, but no garage. So, I’m shirtless and mentally ill under the carport.
Honestly, if you’re a millenial in this economy something is wrong with you if you aren’t at least a little crazy.
The stress is fucking unreal.
You are going to be the best uncle that nobody trusts their kid with after what happened last time they had you watch their house. You have an important role in the community, selling illegal fireworks to bored teens.
War. Coal mine. Oil rig. None of which should even exist IMO, but that’s a different debate. I’ll respect somebody wanting that lifestyle even if idgi at all but there’s a buuuunch of people out there wanting a partner to do all the trad shit while they do fuckall trad shit. And the modern stuff they’re doing is always all the worst and least fun. They’re exactly the kind of people that would die of a diet-related illness despite never having looked at a spice rack.
Have to be a raging bull of testosterone and manly interests while also being a round the clock worker to be a breadwinner and also being a father figure to any children in your life on demand
Men not being allowed to be emotionally expressive has led to so many mental health problems…
Men shouldn’t be allowed near children that aren’t their own. It’s rarely stated but regularly assumed.
This one fucking sucks… it’s especially awful for us beard havers.
I think it is more of the mustache only crowd that really faces a stigma about being good with kids.
My daughter is a very different skin colour than me. Somehow the worst I’ve encountered to date is an uppity mother who thought I was telling off a random child.
I think you were implying something different, but I feel like I get a ton of odd comments suggesting it’s weird for me to be out with my own kid. Things like “giving mom the day off?” or “what happened to his mom?”.
I had friends complain about this kind of thing before I had kids and I thought that they were exaggerating. Nope, it’s all over the place. It’s certainly not everyone, but it is much more common than I expected.
Things like “giving mom the day off?” or “what happened to his mom?”.
I always hated the “are you babysitting?”
Like NO! These are my fucking kids, I don’t babysit them, I’m parenting
I’m 33 and never seen this IRL. Weird. Only heard people mention it online. Must be that thing that doesn’t actually happen and is only perceived on the web.
Must be that thing that doesn’t actually happen and is only perceived on the web.
By all means, take your own experience into account but don’t fall for this fallacy…
By you own logic, murder must be a myth because it hasn’t happened to you
It’s likely a cultural thing. I’ve noticed it in urban Canada, myself.
A man smiling at a child who looks at him will get glares or weird looks from the parent. A woman smiling at a child who looks at her will be nothing out of the ordinary. The same man is “allowed” to smile at children if he’s with a woman and/or a kid of his own.
A man should get violent and angry and protective when someone hits on his woman.
This is something I’ve never understood. Surely it is a compliment rather than an insult to effectively say “your partner is very attractive”
Especially when that someone is themselves.
We should enjoy violence
Protectors & providers
It’s one of the worst kind of inequality which women don’t (or rarely) ever examine and question if it’s compatible with modern ideas
I don’t know about the provider thing these days but I feel like the protector part still holds true. If you hear a person messing with your door lock in the middle of the night it’s the guys job to go check out on it. Statistically virtually every man is stronger than all women so ofcourse that’s who you send in when there’s a risk for physical altercation.
I agree and that’s still poison.
The idea that when something growling outside the cave has everybody shaking inside, it’s the guy’s job to get a pointed stick and go outside, knees knocking, heart pounding.
This is not compatible with modern life. Especially if the person scrounging around outside is a meth-addled woman, and I happen to go out in uppercut her.
