Into the forest/mountain that is literally right outside my house. Harsh terrain that foreign agents won’t be able to traverse easily without local knowledge. With a five minute head start they’d have no way of finding me without dogs and helicopters. And even they would have difficulty navigating the terrain and local weather conditions.
“I’m going to hide behind the settee, yeti spaghetti!”
I’d make a quick walk to the corner store. If I’m finally gonna die, I’m gonna have one last drink first.
Just out the back, let them fight the roos, drop bears and suger gliders to get to me. I might not even hide just be like, if you get this far in Il come willingly
Nice try, CIA
In the woods behind my house. Thick enough to give pause to most
either wherever Melania Trump is, or where Joe Biden keeps his moxy. No one is finding either one
My house is built on an old vertical mineshaft. I’d take the secret elevator to the bunker 300 feet below ground where my command center is. Then I’d take control of the gun emplacements hidden in the trees and the fleet of AI enhanced drones. When the agents are eliminated, the robotic dogs will drag the bodies to the incinerator shaft.
Or maybe not. You didn’t think I’d really tell you what awaits you Agent CraigOhMyEggo, did you?
Nah, they’ll find me eventually. Just put on really weird porn and start jacking it to make the agents as uncomfortable as possible… then you use your secret Kung Fu moves - “Snake spits poison from hidden trousers” and “Petroleum Jill-y to the face”
I’d hide about a five minutes’ run from my home
If the enemy knows where you are, don’t be there
I wish we could just go nowhere!
Lamp shade, sheets, done.
Depends on if they’re going to abduct me or just shoot me.
Pick a direction completely at random, move into it, don’t stop or give away my location until it’s resolved. They can ransack the surrounding area pretty good, but they’re specifically foreign so they’re also being hunted as they’re hunting me, and even domestic agents have been known to lose somebody on the run.
Probably wherever there are domestic agents.
I’m not actually sure I’d trust the local police to not get outwitted. Spies are very good at forging things and impersonating people, and they have no reason to believe I’m an actual target and not just a crazy person.
I would get one of those cheap masks. The one with glasses, plastic nose, and the fake mustache.
No one is going to find me.
