Which side of the bed is the left side? Is the answer based on the perspective of laying in the bed (person’s head at the head end)? Is the answer based on viewing it from the foot of the bed, looking at the head of the bed? Is there an “anatomical position” or special terminology like in boating for this?

For context: My boyfriend and I can’t agree on this. We change who gets which side based on the shoulder we’d predominantly sleep on and how it’s feeling. This let’s us get good cuddles before shoulder pain gets irritated. He comes to bed after me. A while back he asked what side I’m sleeping on. I said “left”. Later that night, he comes in and almost lays directly on me because he claims “left” is the other side. Since then we have to describe which side using complicated descriptions.

  • cobysev@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    If I’m talking about sides of the bed, I’m almost never in the bed at the same time, so I would be talking from a position at the foot of the bed. Beds are practically never in the middle of the room, so I wouldn’t be standing over the head of the bed while orienting. So the foot of the bed is the default position to reference.

    If I’m in bed and talking about sides, I usually just guesture and say, “this side” (or “your/my side” if I’m talking to my wife) instead of designating left or right.

    • Mostly_Harmless_Variant@lemmy.worldOP
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      5 months ago

      Your logic is that of my BFs.

      If the bed to be used with people in it, I think that perspective should be the fixed perspective how it is used. If you’re partner is on your right hand side, the side you sleep on is the left.

  • all-knight-party@kbin.run
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    5 months ago

    I’d say it’d be from the perspective of laying in it, since no one cares what side of the bed is which unless they’re going to lay in it

    • calabast@lemm.ee
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      5 months ago

      Ah, but as you say, people only care when they’re “going to” lay in it, meaning they’re not in the bed yet. Once you’re in bed, you pretty much never need to specify the left or right side, you can say “shit, i spilled a drink on your side!”

      So, since we only care about left and right sides while we’re not in bed, I say who cares about the in-bed perspective. What matters is how it is oriented while you’re standing up and looking at it. So that’s how I’d assign left and right side.

      • all-knight-party@kbin.run
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        5 months ago

        To that, I’d say it’s likely better if we use landmarks. Identify unique furniture or a window or something on each side. Then, refer to them as “Window side” or “Lamp side”.

  • TostiHawaii@feddit.nl
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    5 months ago

    If you lay in the bed, depending on if you are lying on your back or stomach, left and right still change.

    Ususally a bed is positioned with the head against a wall, so if you are facing the bed from the foot end, left and right are always the same. So I vote left/right is as seen from the foot end of the bed.

  • TheButtonJustSpins@infosec.pub
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    5 months ago

    Right, left if you’re looking at the bed from the foot.

    Stage right, stage left if you’re looking out from the bed toward the foot.

  • UnPassive@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    To avoid confusion, just say driver and passenger side.

    I meant this to be a joke, but if you assume your bed drives forward toward the side with your pillows then it actually works. But if you read in bed with a reading pillow then I guess you probably want to drive your bed toward your feet side of the bed…

    • Mostly_Harmless_Variant@lemmy.worldOP
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      5 months ago

      Driver and passenger side confuses me more because of your last point. It’s backwards. But it still needs to be named foot of the bed and not head because it’s where it feet go. So your first point also makes sense. Both are right and wrong at the same time

  • kbal@fedia.io
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    5 months ago

    We customarily refer to the ends of the bed as “head” and “foot” which are analagous to the head and foot of a sail in nautical terms. Therefore “forward” in the ordinary bed naturally corresponds to the direction of straight up toward the ceiling, and the port side is the one on your left when lying in the bed facing that way.

  • kinttach@lemm.ee
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    5 months ago

    Imagine the bed is a clock. The 12 o’clock position is at the head — I don’t think anything else makes sense. That makes it unambiguous.

    The positions are 3 o’clock and 9 o’clock.

    • amelia@feddit.de
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      5 months ago

      And 3 is obviously on the right side of a clock and 9 on the left so the debate is settled.

      • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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        5 months ago

        Not if you consider the clock’s face is facing you. Facing your face. And so you can’t expect its right and wrong to be the same as yours.

        Let’s say you have a day to move your stuff and you’re down to the last minute. You only have time for one more trip back inside. Your girlfriend says to grab whatever’s left of the clock. You go inside and look at its clockwork face, still gazing up at you with blank, bright numbers. Where the clock has hung all these years, to one side there’s a window with a bottle sitting there. To the other a vase with flowers. What do you take? What’s left of the clock, the vase, or do you say screw it and grab the bottle, without bothering to read carefully what’s inside?

        I’m afraid this is all just more confusing, sorry

  • jbrains@sh.itjust.works
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    5 months ago

    Either:

    • you establish a convention and both learn to choose one perspective or the other
    • one of you tries to do that and the other pretends not to agree, because it’s cute and fun as a form of teasing

    Pick one and I hope whatever you pick works for both of you. Agreement is easy, but teasing can be fun.

  • FMT99@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    My girlfriend lies on my right arm, so she’s on the right side of the bed and I’m on the left.

  • boydster@sh.itjust.works
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    5 months ago

    The answer is easy, but to get to it, a little bit of a thought experiment is probably helpful. I say, look to how we define our own left and right sides for guidance. When facing forward, our left hand is on the left side of our body, and the right hand is on the right side of the body. Perspective doesn’t matter, and there is no ambiguity.

    Now we need to extend this to the bed. A bed has a head, just like a person does. So where would its face be? It seems clear to me, unless you are sleeping on a dead mattress, that the face is clearly going to be looking upwards at the ceiling at the head of the bed. So the left side of the bed, if you are standing at the foot of the bed looking at it, would be on your right. Just like the left side of your friend, when you are standing in front of them and looking at them, is on your right.

    Now if you just imagine the mattress to be perfectly spherical and in a frictionless environment…

    (Obviously just having fun with this answer, but it’s also the right answer)

  • Akrenion@programming.dev
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    5 months ago

    In medicine you use the view of the examiner like your boyfriend. I don’t think that is reasonable for the people lying down though.

    • Mostly_Harmless_Variant@lemmy.worldOP
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      5 months ago

      So using the point of the examiner, is the mattress the belly or back or the bed? I say it’s the belly, the baseboard would be the back. So it would be the same as laying in the bed.

        • Fermion@mander.xyz
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          5 months ago

          The majority of people occupying the same bed will have congruent driver/passenger sides. Distant strangers don’t need to know which side you are referring to. Couples from different regions could adopt the local convention.

    • MrsDoyle@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      This is the correct answer. It’s how ships avoid running into each other. When whoever is steering the vessel is facing the bow (front, usually the pointy bit), port is their left, starboard their right. Ship’s running lights are red on the port side, green on the left. So if you’re out on the water at night, you can immediately see whether a ship is coming towards you or moving away. The rule for passing an oncoming vessel is “port to port”, thus avoiding confusion and collision.

      Sitting up in bed I would consider the headboard the stern, because I have my back to it, and the foot the bow. So the area to starboard is right, and portside is left. Ahoy maties!!!