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I’m from a very red county in Utah, and I had a lot of those same fears when I started transitioning about 15 years ago. I wasn’t as worried about hate crimes back then, but honestly, even nowadays I still feel safe. I’m lucky enough that I’m able to live my life in a low-crime area though. My main worries are about closing opportunities and my life just becoming harder and more stressful.

So yeah, I still have some fear towards being authentic around certain people. I still boymode (as best I can with my appearance) when I’m around family and somewhat at work. But I’ve always known that the earlier a person starts HRT treatment, the more successful their transition would be. So I started taking HRT as soon as I knew how to get it, and I never stopped taking it because I knew I would regret letting my body masculinize even more. And honestly now, I’m confident enough in my transition and who I am, that it doesn’t really matter to me what pronouns people use for me or anything.

I would just say that there is no “right” way to transition, and you can transition in the aspects you want and feel safe with, and boymode in others that are risky or that are not that important to you. But I would caution you to not close future doors by detransitioning, if you know you are trans. I think things will get better with time.

Yup, I’m quitting Reddit mostly because i use 3rd party apps to browse it. I hope some of the other communities i follow migrate as well.

I’m also subscribed to the transfem community on Raddle. It’s at https://raddle.me/f/transfem