• 0 Posts
  • 23 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
cake
Cake day: June 15th, 2023

help-circle




  • The reality of working with black people will mean you slip up and use some casual racism sometimes. These laws are going to add fear to speaking to coloreds let alone hiring them. And what if they’re abused?

    The reality of working with women will mean you slip up and and get handsy with them sometimes. These laws are going to add fear to speaking to respectable women let alone hiring them. And what if I’m just talking with the guys?

    I didn’t always know that the turban wearing guy at the office wasn’t a Muslim but was actually a Sikh. But I didn’t need to be told twice, and if I did it was never with malice.


  • Humor usually never ends up as a path towards solution unless the PERSON EXPERIENCING IT makes fun of it. It’s difference between laughing at someone and laughing with someone. It’s why there’s specific lemmy communities for ADHD and ADHD Women with their own specialized memes: They never accuse anyone of anything, and look at things from a kinder view. I have a boyfriend with ASD and the Autism memes fit to a T. It gives the self a sense of understanding.

    But outsider humor? I see mentions of House and Zapp Brannigan and how it’s basically a setup for a joke involving the legal system. No mention of struggles or legitimate efforts to fix or understand the self. These are not jokes made from love. They are for the explicit purpose of othering. I’m not going to walk up to a tall black guy to call him a “Basketball American” anymore than you should call sexsomnia a “prewritten legal defense”.


  • The level of jokes in this comment thread (circa 7:28PM PT Apr. 28) tells me that people really, really don’t have great frames of reference for mental disorders of any kind. The article subheadings literally go

    • Sexsomnia can ruin lives

    • What triggers sexsomnia?

    • Behavioral treatments are also available

    This shit ruins lives. Lost relationships, arrests, and a complete inability to find any amount of support because of the sensitive nature of the condition. I have ARFID, a condition I won’t even explain because it’s gonna attract trolls like flies. I have lived in fear because of how it is associated with kids. It dictates my entire life. I have to plan where I can and cannot go to all the time, every day, monitoring what I consume so I don’t fall into self destruction.

    spoiler

    And yes. I wrote this to spur your imagination wild. Don’t mention it. Let the kneejerkers respond.

    There is no direct cure for ARFID, just like the article explains for sexsomnia. I have had immense help with my condition when I found the right doctor. The fact that they understood my diagnosis and approached me with extreme respect made me cry. That’s how deprived of support I was at 22 years old.

    Love thy neighbor. Don’t assume anything because you don’t someone’s demons.



  • We have forced it, quite hamfistedly, to do anything. The organic hell-evolution of web browsers turned them into do-anything sandboxed mini-OS. It meant whatever hellish code you used to write your corporate mandated web app could now become a perfectly bloated standalone application. And the demonic language that would enable it was called Javascript. It does the backend and it does the frontend. You could consider those advantages over other devices, like toasters and those handheld electronic games from the 80s.




  • So it’s not that the Volkswagen cheated on the emissions test. It’s that running the emissions test (as part of the building process) MODIFIED the car ITSELF to guzzle gas after the fact. We’re talking Transformers level of self modification. Manchurian Candidate sleeper agent levels of subterfuge.



  • I’m going to analyze this assuming you’re more manly than not, since that’s where my experience is at.

    Emotions are separate, related issues that can be tackled just like a man can. A therapist with “Men’s Issues” experience knows how to frame the woo and abstractions of regular therapy with more actionable techniques. Someone with very intense or inappropriate emotions may need to face the emotions MORE than the problem at hand. There are techniques and viewpoints to be understood, and I had to use these myself.

    It’s stuff like simple facts about emotions. They exist. They influence your actions. They can be modified and analyzed. They need to be managed like an adult manages a child. Ignoring emotions can compact them into deep seated hurt that induce more emotions. Process your past to free yourself from that hurt. It won’t be fast, but it needs to be done.

    If certain situations that cause emotions can be avoided, do so when reasonable. If they cannot be ignored, recognize that external help through tools, techniques, and friends are not weakness, but the weapons you use to to fight your battles. Forgive yourself slipping while always focusing on the output. Learn to cry, and know how it makes you more powerful and strong.

    Notice that this is closer to “wise old karate master” or “Boy Scout Scoutmaster” talk. It’s what men crave but rarely find in popular media. IF the person does not have issues with their emotions and have a sufficiently sized ego, pulling them through the first steps of anxiety and hesitation is enough to make someone feel competent and secure. Positive visualization, goading their ego, pushing buttons (gently), it’s good for many men but not for all of them, and it just doesn’t translate to a lot of women. Expand your arsenal of emotional management for your target audience. You’re a good person for wanting to find a better way to help others.


  • Both because they are the ultimate tools in maneuvering a terrible, terrible development environment. For reference, Sigasi Studio costs 2,000$ PER YEAR, and it still doesn’t work for our dev environment!

    Let me paint a picture: Corporate job that won’t let you download anything except whatever you can smuggle through a git checkout. It took a month to convince IT to download vim 9.0 on the server. The programming language? VHDL and SystemVerilog and UVM. Horrible language support that relies on proprietary compilers/simulators, and always the ones you aren’t using. The one you are using is so obtuse that it has literally 50 configuration files for a single project. All of it is run with a janky python script with half of the flags not working. LSP support is out of the question since it dynamically pulls files from god knows where with at least 10 layers of …/ relative pathing.

    All I can do on vim is

    • ctrl+p for fuzzy file finding and a massive blacklist of intermediate files to ignore,

    • a custom :Make command with custom errorformat that you can navigate through,

    • Universal Ctags with per library indexes to reference those far off files,

    • and a fuckton of grepping for when Go To Definition (ctrl+]) grabs the wrong location.

    Vim’s autocomplete is almost always good enough. If my laundry list of plugins break, I can literally fix them on the spot and even submit the merge request on github. If you take into consideration all of this configuration and learning effort, I still save hours of navigating through the hundreds of files I have to essentially reverse engineer. My coworkers are all electrical engineers and it shows They’re using godforsaken nedit with no syntax highlighting…


  • From a software engineering view: Lots of rebuilding the wheel, now with Internet Explorer dependencies. Large tech firms are more and more bureaucratic rather than innovative. Startups slurp up VC funding for the next 200 or so unicorn investments. NVIDIA is THE ENTIRE S&P 500 at this rate with SERIOUS “Peak of Inflated Expectations” valuation. Elon Musk.

    All the while the majority of the job is fixing the mistakes of the past, of yourself and of some code monkey in 2003. There’s this theory that code replicates the structure of the design team. When that team spans an entire corporate hierarchy with SCRUM standups every 2.5 milliseconds, you wonder if you could do the equivalent of the ending of Office Space to the codebase.

    I’m sorry, I’m just… anyway, a sage piece of advice. For the love of all that is holy, write requirements BEFORE doing validation for Aerospace applications, and DO NOT OUTSOURCE THE REQUIREMENTS WRITING. That is all.


  • If you want to know where I stand, my trans boyfriend came out a long time into our long distance relationship and he wanted surgery. I was a bit torn on the idea, but what really sold me was that he was gonna have a dick if he did surgery. THAT was cool with me, and likewise with the body shape thing. Boobs, ass, vagina, dick is all good with me, balls included.

    And the cool thing is? He’s having second thoughts on it now that he’s moved in with me and away from their parents. Given the freedom to choose gender identity regardless of their body, they are a lot happier and don’t need to pigeonhole themselves into a sexual/gender stereotype. I, for one, don’t care. His sexual orientation is demisexual due to need for emotional connection, whilst mine is pansexual(?) because I honestly don’t care. He does it for me and that’s great.

    It might be comforting to know that pansexual as a label exists and that your preferences are shared with others. You might find quite the assortment of… 2d images online. By the ratios it’s 8:5:1 for female bodies:male bodies:female bodies with dicks. Really, it’s not that uncommon. You might find even more freedom once you find the people that give you the liberty to truly own my desires. Feel free to interact with femboys, strapon girls, intersex people, whatever and wherever. Your sexual arousal needs no words to justify itself.