We peacefully fell out of contact

There is not enough stimulation in a small community. In the US, they are also usually full of hateful/ignorant people.

Not cool bro

Notice how it stated an opinion. Is it likely that statement was planted there?

Stupid sexy legs

Yes

That’s not a rock.

To be fair, PhD holders sometimes fail at basic tasks

Are you someone who observes toilets, observes from a toilet, or a toilet that observes?

Yikes

Whichever is most likely to kill me at its velocity

What if I told you there is a way…

Digimon incident. I might cringe if I were alive to care.

As a human, who give a rats ass, but as an american, i think i support this