“So there I was, walking nude on the beach. I tripped and fell right on to one of those new beer bottles that someone just happened to stick into the sand upside-down.”
“Get out…”
“No, no, that’s what really happened.”
“No, I mean, get the fuck out of this hospital.”
This one is tough. I wasn’t an Ozzy super fan or anything, but at the time I grew up (70s - 80s), there was no avoiding him.
I listen to some of the older Black Sabbath songs differently now as well, and have a different appreciation for them. Doesn’t stop me from doing some air guitar in the car though.
🤘RIP Ozzy🤘 You certainly didn’t die as an ordinary man.
Little baby Trump must have really had some diaper rash from all of the taco memes after he mentioned the two-week window.
Any American blood spilled by Iran if/when they retaliate will be on Trump’s hands.
DarkStar
So stupid, but if I see it pop up on any of the streaming sites, I know what I’m doing for the next hour or so.
I would complain, but to be honest, I’ve been reading every issue (digital) for free for years via my library.
Lousy Smarch weather…
Well… Nuclear apocalypse is certainly one way to ensure that we won’t need to pay federal income tax any longer.
I bet they’re sacredelicious.
I’m down $7k, so far.
I should have bailed early, but the tax hit would have been just as bad.
I’m swearing more than just bullets.
I’ve never actually owned a set of encyclopedias.
Made even more sad given that, as a child, he likely received the MMR vaccine.
These fools never seem to think about that part.
…or he gets us into a major war
we can’t wineveryone loses
“I have people skills!! What the hell is wrong with you people!?”
“Seen”.
Holy fuck, “seen”.
I honestly think that using this word incorrectly has gotten worse over the last few years. Hearing someone say, “yeah, I seen her yesterday” just makes me want to punch the wall.
At least X is for xylophone.
Because X is always for xylophone.
Or do this and save a few bucks.
One day out of the blue, I received a text message, “Dude… I just received my 13lb block of cheese!!”
No idea who sent it. Wasn’t even an area code I recognized. But 10 years later, my wife and I still reference it. That one text has taken top-tier residence in my brain, and the person who sent it didn’t need to go to the store to buy watermelons or go out at night making deliveries.
Snow White and the Dwarf
One Man and a Baby
Clerk
The First House on the Left