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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: August 8th, 2023

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  • I love to hear that it was received as intended!

    Though I’ll also add one thing that HAS changed without me having to stop being decent to others or critical of myself (in a healthy way): Whether it’s something at work or at some, I have learned to blunt that urge to get somebody’s approval to do something before I do it. It’s a mix of some earned confidence, and of wanting to own my decisions, all in the context of teaching myself to be decisive and act rather than analyze and discuss with others while never doing anything.

    And that last bit isn’t my inevitable turn back into the productivity-obsessed conservative asshole I was raised to be. It is self care after a lifetime of raw dogging ADHD. So the first part about being decisive and trusting my judgment is very true, but the second part about just doing anything is probably even moreso in my case. It includes getting things done that I desperately want to do for my personal life and well being. I have built so much shit this summer with my own two hands that my body has gun as much benefit as my mind.


  • making mundane work unbearable.

    Finding joy in the quiet time doing the mundane work I CARE about (lots of yard work, construction, and taking care of my animals) is some of the most important meditative-type time that I spend, I have learned.

    It makes work more bearable to more enjoyable when I can find a similar mental state, listening to the same music, etc.


  • 8 years of college here. Three degrees! Also well over 2 decades of industry experience.

    And I have good news. In 20 years you will probably still have impostor syndrome because you will probably still be a decent person who is willing to question themselves and isn’t an arrogant jerk. :>




  • Again, that sounds good on paper. In reality, I turn into an on-ramp and I’m approaching a line of cars going 75 mph. There happens to be a sign that says they should be limiting themselves to 55 mph.

    If I merge at 75mph, the state of the roadway is essentially unchanged. If I merge at 55mph, I am introducing a new risk that was not there previously.


  • That’s easy to agree with in isolation, but many times on the main roads near me the normal flow of traffic in the slow lane can be 20 over. Driving at or below the speed limit would create a significantly more dangerous situation than cruising along at the same speed as the nearest several cars.

    Yeah, you’d be operating in a more legal way, and the faster drivers around you should be able to safely deal with it, but that doesn’t mean the risk isn’t there.




  • Oh I absolutely do, neurospicy stranger! I have the kind that comes with crushing Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria too.

    I’ve tried some non-Ritalin brands of slow release methylphenidate, plus tried some slow release adderall, but right now just taking two immediate-release adderall is doing the trick.

    You should SEE the amount of shit I’ve built this summer. I even contribute at work sometimes, lol.


  • Ah ok, thanks! A while back I tried Jornay, which is also time release methylphenidate. Now I am just on instant release adderall. Slow release didn’t work for that either. It’s like it takes too long in my system.

    It’s good so far!

    I’m in the US with the typical high deductible health insurance you get from an employer in a professional office job. But I’m also in a unique situation where the treatment for a different condition of mine is so expensive that the drug company pays your deductible. So it’s almost like I have really good insurance that covers everything.






  • I can totally see this coming.

    The developed world has a population growth problem. Population growth has slowed or reversed in many countries, but the global economy is designed around infinite growth, fed by an infinitely growing pool of workers and customers. Then when they retire they can be taken care of by the infinitely growing population of young people.

    It takes zero imagination to picture this administration forcing “high value human resources” to remain in the country, including putting them on no fly lists. Unfortunately since they are stupid, the brain drain has already started.


  • Damn, that is well said. This sentence in particular:

    We are losing our respect for the profound, our empathy for the other, and our curiosity for the unknown.

    is the kind of thing that sounds like an empty platitude when your mind/life is in a bad state, but after a few years of progress and healing I read that line and wish I could adequately express the years of reflection and learning that can be distilled down to such a short statement.




  • It was far too recent for somebody with my background. I learned how the UNIX command line was different from DOS in the late 90s, but it was only last year that I switched from a VM to a native Linux install at work. Then I swapped over the home PCs during winter.

    After defaulting to Windows for so long because of games and employers favoring it, it was almost frustrating how fast, smooth, and “clean” feeling it was to install Linux natively on a system compared with the recent versions of Windows. And that’s without any special lightweight distro. I am a proud Linux Mint Cinnamon user, lol.