Semivir [he/him, she/her]

you’re right btw about romania being hostile to queer ppl, mostly the older folk

Most eastern European countries follow the same blueprint of the elderly being exremely conservative. The youngsters are usually damaged in a way where they are more tolerant, but have some weird homo-/transphobic tendencies. And then there’s people like you who are just trying to live their lives the way they feel they should. Never give up on that!

Now I don’t presume to know what kind of relationship you have with your parents. But judging from some of the stories I’ve seen on this community alone, taking away hormones is probably not even close to the most damaging thing your parents could do to you. So I might be blowing things way out of proportion here, but just in case: Be absolutely sure they’re not going to kick you out to the streets or otherwise put you in danger before you’re in a position where you being a minor no longer impacts your life.

Also don’t underestimate what the hormones will do to your body. Two whole years is a lot of time for changes to take effect, including things you might not be able to hide as easily. Two years is a long time to keep a secret from your immediate family, and there are probably going to be moments where simply “boymoding” is not going to cut it.

Then there’s the leaving the country part, which is likely not going to be a magic solution either. The good news is that you have two years to research everything you need to know in order to find some safety in your life. And I hate to say it, but financial security is going to be a big part of that, as it allows you more freedom to avoid places that are regretably not safe for trans folk. The harsh reality is that this becomes exponentially easier if you’re either talented or highly educated, since most of the safer countries will more readily hand out work visa to those more beneficial to the local economy and job market.

Don’t get the wrong idea, definitely not trying to talk you out of your plans! Just trying to make sure you’re several steps ahead and have planned for all sorts of situations. So the common denominator in all of this is “make sure you’re prepared and keep planning ahead”.

Other than that I wish you all the best, and good luck on your journey.

Not questioning your decisions, but it sounds like you’re doing this solo, and likely without parents knowing about it. If that’s the case, you might want to think ahead to what will happen if someone does find out.

If you’re not in a position where you can trust an adult enough to tell them you’re transitioning (for whatever reason that may be), you’re likely not going to have a safety net when you do transition. Please think over who might support you in your efforts to become the person you want to be. Especially in a country like Romania, where anything LGBTQ+ is under increasing stress from bigots.

So no, you’re not being stupid for asking for help online, but please make sure you know if you can trust anyone from your personal surroundings going forward.

Seeing all the recent news I can’t help but feel the US is not a fun place to be right now.

I sincerely hope the political landscape calms the fuck down soon, and all of you can focus on the real issues again. It is beyond unreasonable how much attention some of these culture war topics are getting. It is also obviously a divide and conquer strategy and someone needs to break that cycle.

Are you applying for a job that has you representing the company to the public in any way? If so, you might find yourself less free in your appearance than you would if you have a desk job. And it’s likely not just about being trans, but other things like piercings, tattoos and hair styles as well.

I’m not sure how well woker’s rights are represented in law, either on a state basis or in the USA in general. But you might want to consider finding out with the interview if your potential employer really respects you being trans or not, even if you do so without actually mentioning you’re trans. And if not I’m inclined to say the job is not a safe place for you. If you leave this up to chance, you might be in for a nasty surprise later on in your career there.

But I guess it all depends on how long you can afford to look for a job where you’re going to be respected for who you really are. If you need work fast, there’s also the option of just taking the job stealthily and almost immediately looking for a new job from there. All while pocketing the employment experience, which definitely helps your chances finding other work.

Ultimately there are two things you need to prove in an interview (if you’re dealing with reasonable people and not bigots): Whether your personality doesn’t make you clash with the colleagues you’ll be working with. Wether your skillset matches what the employer is looking for, and employers have this bad habit of not mentioning wanted soft skills in the ad.

Do those two well and the only thing ruining your chances is your potential employer being a twisted bigoted piece of shit, in which case it’s their loss.

So happy for you!

Seems like you got the identity part figured out. The hard part is getting to feel comfortable being yourself within your environment. This part of the internet is a safe place, but it also provides a false sense of security. Real life is where the real battle is, and a lot of us are probably going through the exact same thing where real life is either too scary or too unfriendly for you to feel comfortable as yourself right now. At least that’s what it’s like for me.

Digital hygiene is actually the reason I started a dedicated account here, to fully express myself on some topics that I might not want others digging through my post history for. Though the ultimate goal is no longer needing this account.

Spend as much time as you can doing stuff that makes you feel pretty. Everyone deserves to look in a mirror and to smile at their own reflection!