Miles O'Brien

That would be chef’s kiss.

Bonus points if he then tosses them into the sun on live TV.

My wife would be freaking out about two minutes after she realized I hadn’t come back inside, I wasn’t answering my phone, and I wasn’t in any of the usual places around the house.

Everyone else? Weeks.

Yeah, but if he can drag two leaders that are purposefully driving their people to war into the sky and toss them around a bit until they agree to sit down and talk until they come to an agreement, he kind of has the responsibility to do it.

And the rest of us get to see idiots get juggled.

I’m so glad the people around me who live nowhere near a field voted to kill field-to-solar projects around here, the factories and warehouses that went up where there used to be lovely views of the hills are much better. All that extra pollution and noise really adds something special to the day.

I don’t think I’ll be able to squeeze in field time with my actual fucking jobthat doesn’t pay me enough for medical expenses

The sandwich is no longer on the table

“You don’t actually think they spend $20,000 on a hammer, $30,000 on a toilet seat, do you?”

Exposing your junk to a bush in the back corner of a lot used by a school district for storage will get you on a sex offender registry, so I fully expect these Fuckwads to be slapped with sex offender charges, put on the registry, and branded as child molesters for the rest of their lives.

That’s actually a common misconception.

It’s not because Japanese ninjas are bad at being ninjas, it’s just that other countries ninjas are completely invisible to the naked eye.

Obviously we all know we can see our own country’s ninjas, but other countries are invisible.

Thanks to years of cultural import/export, most humans can naturally see Japanese ninjas.

So congrats, if you can see a Japanese ninja, you’re actually just close to being a weeb.

And then if you don’t have a/c, you get blessed with DoT reducing to only -1hp/min instead of -1hp/sec.

Why not just tattoo a number on their arm?

I’m sure there’s no possibility that subdermal trackers would ever be used in shitty ways.

At least my parents church has the decency to give first time visitors a free 6oz cup of coffee.

I decided a long time ago that if I ever walk in and don’t recognize anyone, and someone thinks I’m a visitor who didn’t grow up there, I’m going to start quoting Bible verses about how selling shit inside the church is wrong and I would be channeling the righteous anger of Jesus himself if I flipped all their tables and whipped them.

Unfortunately despite the fact that I have been there twice in 10 years, people still recognize me.

Look, if you didn’t want people watching you, then why run lines in a public place?

And will you not also be center of attention during the performance said lines are for?

I suppose a birthday is aa good a place as any to test your public speaking…

It’s been so great the last 10 years saying “this is what will be happening because the neo-nazis are taking over” and everyone telling me I’m overreacting, I’m being hyperbolic, I’m exaggerating or my favorite “you’re just being dramatic”

Remember, THERE’S NO WAY they’d overturn Roe v Wade.

And then you bolt awake, with adrenaline now surging, only to be staring at your wall and it’s 4am so you definitely won’t be feeling rested when your alarm goes off.

Local city is doing fireworks at 10pm.

I’m too old for this shit, just don’t wake me up.

Clearly you’ve never met someone like my wife.

Well, if you’re ever in Ohio, you’ve got at least one extra member, and there might be a certain aquatic horse nearby that could lend support.

I don’t think the three of us can accomplish much by force though…

I’ve got a wheelbarrow though.

Damn, if they got “dragged” I would love to be “dragged” into owning a 50 acre woodland area with a small stream, a clearing for expanding my food garden, and maybe have a few free range chickens with a small but over-engineered house…

I didn’t know you could be dragged while leading the charge…

“Reason: advocating violence”

I see no advocation for violence, just the truth about people who need to be removed from power.

And I absolutely LOVE the implied “you can complain about all violence toward you but don’t you DARE even suggest doing the same thing that’s being done to you”

Yes masters, we should all die quietly.