Go read through my posts if you want some more early days experiences.

Have I got news for you…

Thank you ❤️

Awe! Thank you so much, rose!

I keep all my old photos, every once in a while I’ll be talking to someone about things and decide I want to see a chronically depressed cadaver go through the motions of… I don’t even really know what… just tons of pictures.

I got pictures of me blackout drunk staring disdainfully in a mirror, pictures of me trying to feign happiness in hundreds of locations at Disney World, pictures documenting the all day drinking and running through the woods at full bore on a 4 wheeler hoping I’d just smash my skull into a tree and die, the daily fire I would make when it was too dark to keep driving drunk through the woods and spend my nights getting more drunk hoping I’d pass out and get killed by wolves.

Sure, If it was life or death I could find a smile or a happy photo, but almost all of them are stoic at best and I’m going to keep them.

That poor fuck held on for something, and in his misery he gave me a life worth living, and for that he deserves his respect and honors. I cannot hate him or erase him. He hurt for so long, he wanted an undying death, and I myself gave him his wish.

Of course, you should do what is best for you, I just have been diving a bit too far into how the Ship of Theseus problem intersects with my identity and personality here lately and have decided I literally AM a different person and that’s okay and consistent with me being the same person I always was, just with less repression.

‘cause right now all we have is time, time, time, and someday that time will run out, that’s the only thing we can be absolutely certain about.

10 Things - Paul Baribau

I’m on hormones, just sucks having to deal with the feelings and knowing it’s a waiting game.

At least I’m doing something though.

In between desperate gasping for air worth breathing and times worth living

Pat the Bunny

My brother has an OSRS account he named post rave blues, certainly relatable.

It’s all good there is no advice.

Thank you for the kind words about my writing style. It’s been a new compulsion of mine to document things. Everyone always told me to journal, but I didn’t see the point documenting the things I was desperately seeking any escape from.

I’m definitely lacking the foot ware. Most of my shoes were leather boots, about 5 months ago I branched out and got some khaki sneakers and some white sneakers.

Thanks Ellie, kind of a radical idea that I deserve a life worth living.

I’ll have to remember that

Sounds like the unspoken idea is you name the roach after your ex

Awe, thanks.

I get my glasses from Zenni Optical. I got some more feminine Prescription glasses and feminine sunglasses for $120 usd, they’re cheap enough that I can get random pairs and the virtual try on + feature on phones is amazing, realtime AR the frames on your face, desktop has an okay version that extracts frames from a webcam video and overlays the frames. Helped me pick some out I knew I’d like.

It was as good a time as it could be ☺️

Thanks

I’m putting it out there now, cringe will continue to evolve and the feeling will get elaborated and exaggerated until the new version of cringe will basically be imploding into yourself like a black hole or being spaghettified.

Well, in the linked comment, on the second line where it says to import the converted epub into editing software like sigil,there was a link to a piece of software called sigil, it’s for editing EPUB files, and it’s called sigil. It’s the second link in the comment that takes you to the EPUB editor software called sigil.

I have been tempted to upload them for others to use, but all the authors that I’ve done it for are really small niche community authors, and I do not want to take support away from them.

Just because I’m a broke ass bitch and have decided to re-copy them however I see fit for my personal consumption, doesn’t necessarily mean I want to become a bootlegger publisher.

Comment here

I’ve been doing it for years to my personal books I download that I can’t find in ePub, I have no issues with my sanity. I also usually do this before I read the book, and double check my editing as I read it. 98% of the time I caught all the errors that were not present in the original text (it copies typos perfectly) .

”Do a light editing “ You mean read through a huge book?

No, I mean use your eyes to see if there are any obvious breaks in the text, most of the time they’re repeated and follow a pattern that is easily searched and every instance replaced with a button press.

1. Use convert.io to convert pdf to EPUB
2. Import EPUB to editor software such as sigil
3. Find editing issues in the text by hand, once you’ve found one issue that gets repeated like “AuThOr 78” for page numbers
4. Use the search and replace function to replace all instances with blank
5. Skim over the text for a couple minutes not reading, but looking for other weird breaks in the text flow
6. When you think you have them all export the file and start reading, if you see any other less obvious issues mark them in the notes and do a final edit for aesthetics

You now have the book on EPUB to be placed in your personal cloud or whatever.

You can easily convert pdf files to epub then do a little light editing to make sure you don’t have weird artifacts like page numbers the book name or author name. I can process a pdf to epub in 20 minutes at most (most are a minute it two) for average novel length, which I understand is a big ask for lots of folks but it’s worth it to me to have the file in a format that I can keep and use on pretty much anything.

Farscape is a deep cut.

Even Sillier than that is a British comedy called “Red Dwarf” and as far as I recall there is no transphobia. The closest I remember is an episode where the main character ends up in an alternate dimension with the female version of himself. They hit it off and the male main character of the series ends up pregnant, to his distress. At the time I remember it being a really interesting way to bring up gender dynamics without being too laboring, though it’s been a while, and I also haven’t seen the new seasons they apparently made after the show got cult status.

Edit to add: a Reddit thread has this to say about Red Dwarf and being trans

In series 8, Kryten is assigned to women’s prison wing, just because he doesn’t have a penis when he clearly resembles a male, sounds like a male and acts like a male. That’s regardless of the fact that he has no chromosomes because he’s an android (not even gynoid, so another good point). The show makes it out as ridiculous that the only reason why he’s treated as female only because of his lack of penis.

Also, in the episode DNA, it’s shown that when he’s turned into human male, he’s still an android on the inside because he clearly feels discomfort from certain dysphoria, where he finds appliances sexually attractive and inability to adjust to human biology lacking robotic features.

Edit to add to the edit, I forgot the ships on board computer actually does upgrade themselves to present female