Hey so, like the others said, you don’t express yourself like someone with intellectual limits, so I’d really consider retaking those IQ tests with a specialist in neurodivergent issues. TBH tho, the reason why everybody’s discounting your IQ results, is that it’s a kinda bullshit number, the older you get the better you realize that.
But aside from that, let me tell you that when I was your age, I was in a similar situation, maybe even worse: no education, as I had issues in school with bullying and I hated it since a young age, plus I had the usual “smart, but doesn’t put enough effort” evaluation, I couldn’t make heads or tails of maths, my parents filled me with more debt than I had any hope to repay and the state was taking anything I managed to save or buy with great effort.
I never attempted suicide, but let’s say that I took some mortal risks without caring for the outcome. But I held on, I did my best to help myself, worked hard and learned many skills, found a wonderful person who’s been at my side for over a decade now, went back to school (which isn’t very useful for someone who’s already developing a career, but with a better teacher I learned that math isn’t that hard, it can even be fun!), and now I live a comfortable life, make good money, and have people I love who love me back.
I won’t say that the ghosts of the past never visit me, or that I’m 100% of what I could have been, truth is what doesn’t kill you doesn’t necessarily make you stronger, it can also leave you maimed… I have many regrets, sometimes they keep me up at night. But all in all, I’ve been to hell and back and I’ve survived, if someone told me I’d be living like this when I was your age, I wouldn’t have imagined how that was possible… And I didn’t do anything particularly special, I just kept keeping on, put in the effort, and seized luck when it presented itself… most of the time.
Some days you’ll do great, some days you’ll feel like you’re wasting your potential or going nowhere, just keep at it, and you’ll see it’s not so bad, and it’s not your fault.
Siemens Field PG: you make a lot of money