Not that I’m having this issue, but my wife and I are considering a second kid and this is a thought I’ve had.
Interesting thought. Would you say you’re an anxious type of person in general?
No, not at all. Having children brings out all the apprehension and nervousness that could possibly exist within you.
Plus, I never had a great relationship with my dad, whereas my brother did.
Not sure if you’re a dad, but you might get some good responses if you cross post this to !dadsplain@lemmy.ca.
I’m close to the polar opposite type of personality from my family. It is not fun. My father had lots of preconceived notions and stereotypes that were not grounded in reality. My sister amplified the problems greatly. Either of us would have been better off as only children.
First kids get the inheritance because they’re the mulligan. The only first born kids I know of that have done really well in life are those that are only children.
It’s a long game. A connection with one for decades might be eclipsed by a connection with the other for a day
Yes, and also closeness changes with time. It has been like this in my family. I’ve felt more close to one or the other of my parents over the years depending on what I was doing but I don’t remember having a problem with it. That said, my parents made sure to treat us both equally as kids, and if they felt closer to one of us they didn’t let it show.
It will change as they age.
It’s funny, you think you will run out of love but you won’t.
It is likely you will feel closer to one than the other, people are individuals, even kids, but your wife may be closer to the other, and they also will have each other. Don’t worry just love them.
This is what’s so wild about my relationship with my first. I love her so much it literally pains me. I can’t get enough of the smiles and hugs and laughter.
I can’t imagine it would be different with a second, but eventually they grow up and become their own people.
You don’t get to choose your family and I don’t think it’s always possible to be friends with your parents. (Mostly because I don’t think I’d be friends with my dad outside of our familial relationship).
But I would hate for that to happen with even just one of my children.
You grow more love with every precious moment you share with each child.
Treat them like individuals with their own interests and make time for each of them individually.
