If you don’t factor in the cost of my tools, I can build solid wood furniture cheaper than you can buy it. I’ve got a dining room cupboard and hutch in the works right now, made of walnut. I’ll get it done for about $1100 all up. The same piece of furniture from Vermont Wood Studios runs about ten grand.

Yeah, by social engineering. You would probably be better at that than myself though since you can get a girlfriend.

I wear black GOLDTOE socks or leather sandals.

I’m an IT manager and today I had the director of HR bring me her new iphone asking if I can help her set it up. Um, no… first, that isn’t my job, and second, I have no idea how to setup an iphone. I assume it’s an easy process but I’ve never done it before and have more pressing matters to attend to instead of fiddling with her new phone.

I wish. When I tell people I’ve been exclusively using Linux for more than 10 years they give me a blank look then repeat the question.

My favorite is when it’s a local/college-age band and parents are around. Or spouses of older band members. “No, I can’t get her vocal any louder because she’s whispering six inches from the microphone and Jimi Hendrix up there is blasting his amp at 11.”

There’s a reason the lead singer’s girlfriend is the butt of so many jokes. And I have 100% had to use the Baffle of Shame for guitarists who won’t turn down. It’s just a doghouse made out of pink foam board and tape, that you can throw over the top of problem amps. Add a corner notch for cables to run in/out, and dust it in some black paint.

If it’s a tube amp, I can at least understand it; Tubes distort at higher volumes, and the distortion is part of the tone. And if you try to argue with a guitarist about their tone, you’ll lose every time. The nice once will smile and nod, then not make any changes when you ask them to turn down. The rude ones will make direct eye contact as they turn it up more.

But if it’s a solid state amp, putting a 2x4 block under it (or putting it on a spare guitar stand) to tip it towards their head usually works. The guitarist is used to having all of the sound blow right past their knees, so actually aiming it at their head makes a world of difference.

There is one instance where I have heard of a literal Suck Button. Gonna copy and paste it here…

Not my story, but I like to read it again from time to time and get a good chuckle:

My band’s drummer, John, is also a sound guy; for several years before we hooked up musically, he had been doing sound for other bands I was in, as well as for touring acts I booked shows for. He’s very good at what he does, and has a pretty massive rig. Anyway, he’s the nicest guy in the world at band practice, at Burger King, or at a gig we’re playing, but when he’s running sound for other bands, he can be pretty crabby.

Very little patience for bands who start late or end late. Even less patience for bands who take an encore when they’re the second band playing out of five. Very little patience for singers who ask for more vocals in the monitor while cupping the microphone ball in both hands (feedback, anyone?) In general, just an altogether grouchy sound man.

For example, he ran sound once for this seven- or eight piece ska band. One of the trombone players said he needed two mics: one for his horn and one for his backup vocals. Normally at this venue (a 120-seater), John didn’t bother to mic horns at all. Rolling his eyes, John put up a Shure Beta 58 and some AKG condenser mic. “This Shure is for your vocals, and this AKG is for your horn, OK?” he said. “Don’t blow your horn into the vocal mic, because your horn is about 30db louder than your voice and I’m going to have everything mixed properly.” Horn player nods his head. During the second song of the set, apparently this trombonist was set to get a solo. Right before his solo starts, he grabs both mics and pushes them close together, so that the capsules are actually touching. He then blows this fortissimo opening note into BOTH mics. I was sitting at a table in back, by the sound board, at the time. John’s limiters caught most of it, and I STILL had ringing in my ears for two days. At the end of the song, John mutes both of the guy’s mics (and leaves them mute), and basically threatens to ream out the guy’s plumbing with his own horn if he ever pulls that shit again. John does this through his talkback mic, which is clearly audible over the monitors. The crowd bursts into laughter, and the horn player goes bright red in the face.

At any rate, for years I had heard John threaten bands with the “suck button.” Bands who were taking too long to set up, or whose members repeatedly refused to follow reasonable directions (please keep that vocal mic away from the monitors!), would be threatened. “Pull that shit again, and I’m gonna hit the suck button on you guys!” I took it to mean that he would intentionally make them sound bad, but he never followed through on the threat, so I took it as a vague general warning.

So anyway, a little while back he’s running sound on a four band show. The second band, a Matchbox 20/Train kind of band, has him running 20 minutes behind before they even play a note because their lead guitarist was late. Their allotted set time is 40 minutes, but their last song runs over and by the time it’s done, they’ve played for almost 45 minutes. John says quietly over the talkback mic, “Hey guys, you’re done.” The lead singer says loudly over the vocal mic “Sound man says we gotta get off the stage. We got one more song for you!” as they kick into another soupy jangle-rock tune. John shakes his head at me. Then, the most amazing thing happened. After their “encore,” this band kicks straight into ANOTHER song without announcing it, apparently in the hope that John wouldn’t notice it was a different song.

John leans over to me to be heard over the PA and asks, “Hey, wanna see the suck button?” “Sure,” I replied. I figured he was going to muck with the levels or just turn them off or something. Instead, he reaches to one of his racks and starts scrolling through patches on his trusty DigiTech unit. Sure enough, he gets to a patch titled SUCK BUTTON. He engages it, and all hell breaks loose onstage. The lead singer and the lead guitarist (who was singing backup), immediately start to sing WAY off key. They try to get back in tune, fail, trail off in mid-line, try again, and start glaring at each other. The guitarist is so distracted by this that he starts muffing the chord progression. If not for the drummer, I think the whole song would have derailed. For the entire four minute duration of the song, I was treated to this asshole band sounding like crap and getting madder and madder at each other. John explained the patch to me; basically it pitch shifts all tracks from the vocal submix up one step, BUT ONLY IN THE MONITORS. So the audience, out in front of the mains, was treated to the sound of two guys trying to get in tune, only to be utterly confused. If they got it sounding right in the monitors, they could tell that something was grossly wrong in the mains. And each of the singers thought it was the other guy who was singing out of tune. I just about died laughing.

Yeah that’s the first thing that can make it confusing but my specialty is core gameplay on AAA games so it usually goes something like this:

• Oh so you draw the characters? No I don’t really draw, those are artists. I help make the >characters move though.
• Oh so you animate them? Er not really, those are animators, I help with the logic
• Oh so you’re a programmer? No, I do use scripting languages but I’m no programmer … and so on…

I usually end up saying something like that if you were to make a board game, you would need an artist to draw up the assets and a game designer to make up the rules and they both work together so that’s basically what I do but on a larger team and in a more micro scale.

In many cases, yes - but my work also involves a lot of things that I’m doing for the very first time.

It can vary a lot depending on the day and the company/job. Frequently there are meetings that are update/planning discussions, discussions with one or more other engineers on how to build a given feature, debugging existing code to figure out why it’s not doing the thing we want (which is a different but overlapping skill set with coding).

Ultimately there isn’t really a “typical” day because we wear a lot of different hats. My current job is more coding heavy because I’m at a small startup with only a couple of engineers. In a given week I’m probably doing 10% meetings, 50% coding/debugging/configuration, 20% code review (reviewing other people’s code), and 20% thinking/designing/experimenting with ideas. Those numbers vary a lot though. At a previous job I ended up spending an entire week just doing project management to alleviate my boss’ anxiety over a project (which was somewhat self defeating because it meant I wasn’t getting work done on said project). That job in particular had a lot of politicking and communication which was due to micromanagement.

A lot of what people don’t realize is that we aren’t just building a feature. We’re building a feature while thinking ahead to known or potential future features. How can we build feature A to enable making features B, C, and D easier/better/faster without also making feature E much more difficult or impossible? It’s about building flexibility into the system while also balancing against time and cost restrictions. We as engineers have things that we see as necessary while the business wants more features and it’s necessary to balance the two. At a healthy org that means that there’s a negotiation of priorities between the two forces. If you only focus on the technical stuff, you won’t ship features. If you only focus on the features, how fast you can deliver features will come to a grinding halt. Your system will also start breaking in unexpected ways which takes time away from building features.

It’s kinda a rambly response to your question but I hope it helps.

Just because I Am in IT, that doesn’t mean that I can repair your printer. And even if I could, theres no way I want to do that.

It’s tough to describe but I work in Theater & Performing Arts.