A few weeks ago, after I got out of the shower, my girlfriend and I were joking around about how cold it was. She looked down, laughed, and made a comment about how small I looked. We both thought it was funny in the moment. She asked if she could take a picture — we both have vault apps for stuff like that — and I agreed, as long as she deleted it right after. She did, or so I thought.

Fast forward a week later: we’d just come back from a trip, and she was showing photos to two of her friends. I was sitting across the room when I suddenly saw both girls freeze, then burst out laughing. They looked right at me — and I knew. One of those photos had slipped through. My girlfriend looked horrified, took the phone back, and apologized immediately. Her friends tried to change the subject, but the damage was done.

After they left, she came upstairs crying. I was upset at first, but it was clear she felt terrible. I told her it was okay, even though I was completely humiliated.

It’s been a little while, and I still can’t shake the feeling. I keep replaying that moment in my head — them laughing, looking right at me. I know it wasn’t intentional, but I honestly don’t know how to stop feeling so exposed.

Has anyone else gone through something like this? How do you move on?

  • Jonnyprophet@lemmy.world
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    10 days ago

    I’m old. I’ve seen stuff like this before. Im thinking red flag. I don’t know her motives… But a) taking a pic of that (at an understandably bad time) is odd. Funny, maybe, but also could be used in an unhealthy way. Add that to the fact she said she’d delete it, and didn’t… She wanted to use it for something. And a pic like that can only be used for something sinister. She cried. She was sorry… But you are now in the loop of self doubt. What she did was put you in a place of mental trauma and could be called mental abuse. Could be, I say.

    How long have you been with her? How does she honestly make you feel? Warm and happy, or doubting? Ask your friends and family what they think. They may have a clearer view of things than you, having known you longer and caring for you…

    That being said, I was young one. It’s tough. But it can also be amazing. I wish you good judgement or mental fortitude. You’re going to need one, the other, or both.