I was hanging out with my cousin (I was maybe 7yo at the oldest) and we were laughing because I had suddenly farted. He responded with his own toot, but to our surprise, it came out with such force and velocity that it shook every window in the room…or so I had thought.

Turns out that a large shipping truck had passed by at just the right time and because of where we were in the room, he had seen it, but I could not. His earth-shaking ass-clapper was but a farce! Hardly even a poot left his patootie! And still, he let me believe for years (I was a naive kid lol) that he could end the world if he only ate enough beans and wanted it bad enough. What a rascal!

The innocence of not knowing what the adult life is really

Nice try, ChatGPT. No more training data and PII from me, thank you very much.

Halo 1 on PC. 1v1 deathmatch, Blood Gulch, snipers only, no shields. My opponent was using an aimbot. I beat him 25-17.

It was before microphones were common, so he had to type to shit-talk, and he was much slower than me, but had a lot to say. I got a lot of kills by baiting him into rage. I got a few kills by throwing grenades around corners. But a good amount of them were just from out-aiming his aimbot. Lag was different back then. There were tricks and quirks to keep in mind.

He banned me from his server after the match, and when I returned under a different name, he had started banning people who chatted too much. Kek.

I don’t know whether it is ‘the best’ but one that I find springs to mind quite often is a moment with a new Christmas present once. It was one of those walk-along-then-spin-and-shoot robots - a very simple thing, since this was in the early '70s. However, my memory is of utter joy and entrancement as I set it going then leapt out of the way, on to the furniture, before it opened its chest and fired.

It must have been a present from my parents, so they were probably happy that I liked it. Whether they were quite so happy after the first hour or two of the same thing, I don’t know.

My grand pa and I planted an apple tree together in '95, he told me “One day we’ll sit together under this tree and eat apples together. When you’re old enough we’ll travel the world together too!” He unfortunatly passed away that same year and due to that we moved out of state leaving the apple tree behind. I like to look back on this memory and think about how big the tree is now, and hope that at least someone gets to enjoy appels under our back yard tree. Because of that memory I’ve traveled through Europe, Asia, and Africa. I would give anything to have had him here by my side, maybe eat a couple appels on our way.

None, i didn’t have any childhood It sucked.