Bonus points: if that place/activity is friendly for disabled people with limited mobility.
Look for events in church bulletin
Or meetup.com for people who want friends and not cult members
That’s what I was gonna say. It doesn’t even have to be a religious thing. To a lot of people church/mosque/temple is a cultural thing.
I recommend taking an improv class. I recently started taking classes and it’s been a lot of fun and pretty challenging at times. Taking classes and being that vulnerable with others basically streamlines the friend making process. My class group usually goes out to a bar to hang out and chat after class every week, and we have been inviting others to hang out periodically. It’s absolutely disabled people friendly too (At least my theater is, they have a ramp for the stage and everything.) you can also learn some skills to help become better at communication and ease social anxiety. I’ve really noticed the changes in my life.
It’s a daunting idea, but it so worth giving it a shot
Thanks you, this is a great idea, I really like this one. I am concerned though that my crutches would limit my improv versatility.
Dungeons & Dragons is one, for the sufficiently geeky.
This one is interesting as don’t you need friends already to play?
If you want to start an irl group, yeah. If you’re joining an existing group, no though. Fully online is obviously the easiest place to find groups looking for players, but you can also head down to your local gaming store. I’ve seen bulletin boards before with flyers looking for players, but can probably just ask the people working there if they know of any.
Could also check online forums for your local community, maybe even make a post asking if any gaming groups have openings for irl players.
Most game shops host some games that are open to people signing up.
At one of my local stores, they specifically have the “D&D adventure League” once a week. It does have a $5 entry fee.
Our local libraries do this too! They are free but waaay less rowdy than others I’ve tried (i loke a lol rowdy). And, usually One and Done campaigns. Do double check if you do see your library has them, ours do adult and teen in different groups.
I woald advise other RPG than D&D, too many beginner look for D&D and nothing else, while tons of GM struggle to find player for non D&D games, as usual look for a club/meetup/shop near you
DND is tricky to recommend. On the one hand, as far as RPGs go it’s mega popular. On the other, it’s a very specific kind of game and rather finicky.
Many people who don’t want to play fantasy dungeon crawling tactical combat would enjoy other genres, but finding those groups can be harder. One of my friends has no real interest in fantasy, but immediately was like “LET’S DO IT” when I mentioned a game of Vampire.
I came here to say Dungeons & Dragons. People of all ages and walks of life play.
I would argue that this can be any acitivty which can be done in a group setting and which you enjoy. Maybe check out urban gardening? They sometimes acommodate to people with limited Mobility.
Pursue your interests in life and people you’re going to hit it off with will be along the way.
Yeah unfortunately most of my interests are stuff that are done solo. Im also not sure if those interests became my interests because i have been solo most of my life. Moved around allot as a kid. That’s why I want to bridge out to new things.
- Linux
- Comic books
- Reading novels
- Electronic Engineering
- Video Games
Video games can be very social though.
Have you tried discord communities for any games you like?
Or alternative look for a game with a good community?
Yeah I tried a discord group called Gamers Who Chill: DFW but it tended to skew to collage kids or teens. Didn’t feel comfortable engaging. As i didn’t want to come off like a creepy old dude by talking to kids.
Some games will have younger audience, I really don’t see an issue tbh but their spazzing can get annoying quick
I am not sure what’s in vogue now. But for example elite dangerous used to have a strong community for middle aged cucks. Eve online too I heard
I was able to reconnect with high schools and college friends recently via video games. If you got old friends like that, might be worth reaching out. Everyone seemed settled in a rut and bored now and willing to do it. When I tried it 10 years ago, everyone was busy “living life”
Oh im not sure I can go back to EVE. That consumed my life in my twenties. 😁
I wanted to give a second vote for discord. I’m in several channels that aren’t for videogames but for my other hobbies, and things like age/gender never even really come up because everyone is there to talk about whatever said hobby is. Then again, I do most of my communication through text and not voice and I suppose that can make a difference when dealing with the younger crowds.
Yeah i do that mainly with the tildeverse IRC channels and while fun to have a quick chat with a stranger it seems for me those interactions never cross the gap to become a genuine connection beyond talking in IRC or Discord.
You mean you hang out with them and they just feel mundane.
More i say hi they say hi we talk about a topic then they go away. Like where you talk to an anonymous screen name an don’t know anything about the person behind it. You enjoy the conversation much like how I enjoy talking with everyone on lemmy but that connection doesn’t turn into a connection where im added to an invite list at that person’s wedding or graduation. Like you would with a friend group.
Maybe check if there are maker spaces/repair cafes near you. They are always happy for help.
Book club or maybe even some sort of 3d printing meetup? I’ve always found that the people that are interested in those probably would hit the other items on your list.
Go to cons my guy. Join the tournaments, stand in line. People are friendly just aim for a good conversation and be curious about people
Hey! you sound pretty cool! :D
I’m at a similar age and have similar interests. I’ve not been successful. I’ve done what others suggest, but not many people are making a genuine connection. Meetup.com ends up being an activity for the meet up and not connection outside. Conventions and gaming makes people get together for the event…but again little interest outside that.
Some of this might be a skill issue. Some of this has to do with how incredibly socially reserved the British are (all my ongoing friends are with non-British people while loving in England, because they’re the ones who will accept invites and meet up again). Some of this has to do with having interests that hardly anyone shares IRL.
Good luck.
Yeah i so get you dude. It’s funny you bring up being British. I’m half English and have the same problem when I go to cons. Like I went to the local Vintage Computer Festival South West. People were nice but just could never get anyone make the jump to genuine connection.
Being on crutches I think puts it on hard mode. As people ether consciously or unconsciously just don’t want to deal with disabled people. I feel that is less an issue in the UK but in the states most people are down right hostile sometimes to disabled people.
Oh man I was the guy that said “Just go to cons” above but I see what you’re saying. Genuine connections take time.
One way I have really had some luck is just messaging friends I haven’t talked to in a while to check in on them. Most don’t reply but sometimes one does. One guy I messaged after not seeing him in 20 years and now we hang out every other week.
Maybe there is no winning strategy, just gotta be persistent.
Yeah it’s a good plan if you can do it. But with moving around allot I don’t really have those old friends in the area. It’s regretful now but as a teen and up to my early twenties. I was of a mind set I’m just going to move in a few years anyway might as well stick to myself. I was that kid in high-school that just did his work didn’t bother anyone. Then just disappeared without you really noticing him. You might have asked to barrow a pen in class.
Shit dude, that sounds terrible with people giving you attitude for mobility aids.
I haven’t tried clubs (book club, warhammer, etc) and haven’t tried hobby classes.
I’ve had postgraduate formal classes, but that had mature students who had young families that they were keen to get back to (rather than hanging out).
Thanks dude, i will im used to the overtly hostile people. It’s the people that don’t even realize they do it that kills me. Because that’s not them being assholes that’s the systematic bias built by our society as a whole.
Join a group thing you like.
Your nearest, biggest city’s library is a good place to look. Libraries almost always have something going on in a spare public room or have public event flyers hung up. If you’re interested in politics, going and yelling at city council is a great way to meet local activists.
Furry convention
Check out your local library activities, check your city/town event calendar
If you have any interest is medieval things check out the Society of Creative Anachronism. www.sca.org
Even if you only want to meet new nerdy\geeky people. As long as you don’t mind wearing silly clothing.
This is somewhat dependent on living close enough to a city.
This is very cool. I think I have seen some people that do this at the Scarborough Ren Fair down here.
Find a discord community that you share a hobby with. I found a small (<300 people) gaming community discord and have been hanging out there for a couple years now, made tons of friends, always have people to play games with, etc. But it doesn’t have to be gaming, I’m also in 2 movie clubs and a book club on a couple other discord servers, plus I play tabletop roleplaying games online with strangers and make new friends that way, etc. Iono if there’s a place you can physically go to meet people other than a bar or something, but there are lots of places online to meet people. Find yourself a knitting club or a biking club or a hiking group or whatever… tons of those communities exist online, and most of them are on discord.
First off, you cannot attend any kind of event where women are involved.
I’m not doing a battle of the sexes thing, but the reality is that social dynamics massively change when opposite sex are involved. It is fundamentally impossible to have genuine interactions with other men, when women are around.
Before you get all triggered and decide to hit the downvote, remember I am not doing battle of the sexes…you cannot take women’s wine night for example, deposit a man in the group and expect the social dynamic to remain the same.
So go find something where women are not allowed. Find a clubhouse with a crudely written sign that says “no girls allowed” and the R is backwards.
Find a place where men are not in competition for the attention of women.
Your local discgolf club / community if you’re into that.
Just throwing out a suggestion: choir.
Never tried it myself, but I have heard a lot of people build good relationships there.
Kind of building on the D&D subject, if you look up your local game stores that have playspace, they probably have a calendar on their website listing lots of “Open Play” events or something similar. Mine also has craft/hobby nights.
You normally just show up to these and play.
The card and army based games may expect you to have your own stuff, but I would get in touch with somebody because a lot of the time there’s going to be somebody who will let you try the game with their stuff and teach you how to play in hopes of getting you interested long-term.
