I’ll start. I’m a 37-year-old woman, and I’ve always been indifferent about having children. I love peace and quiet, but at the same time, I wouldn’t mind having kids if my partner really wanted them.
I’ve been with my husband for 13 years now and married for 11. I’m his second (and final) wife. He has three kids with his first wife. She was supportive of him taking a second wife, with just one request: no more children. That solidified my decision not to have kids.
Yes.
I was never a “kid person” growing up. I didn’t relate to children and didn’t have much experience with them, but I always saw having a family as the natural path in life. Just like dating leads to marriage, I saw kids as the next chapter after marriage. When I really think about why I wanted kids, it comes down to two main reasons.
First, the experience itself seemed undeniably compelling. I’m introverted and not naturally a risk-taker, but I’ve learned over time that it’s important to challenge yourself and embrace growth. The last thing I want is a life that feels stagnant or boring. Skipping out on something as profound as raising kids felt like missing out on a major part of life.
Second, my wife is incredible. The idea of taking on the adventure of parenting with her felt both exciting and deeply meaningful. It’s intimate, difficult, fun, scary, and rewarding — and I couldn’t imagine a better partner to share that with.
Now, fast-forward to the present: we have three teenagers, and we’ve genuinely loved raising them. I’m not looking forward to the quiet days after they head off to college — the energy and fullness of having kids around has been one of the best parts of our lives and I’ll miss it when they’ve gone on to start their own independent lives.
No, I don’t really enjoy life and never really have. I don’t want another person experiencing what I do.
It is abusive to bring children into the world as it is now.
Either we make a better place for them, or give them the peace of never having being born.
Wait - is she his ex, or are you married to both of them? If you are all one family, I do understand, that sort of makes sense not to make 3 more and end up with a family of 9 people.
If she is his ex, what the actual fuck?
Why should his ex have a say?
I grew up in a cult where the expectation was that I’d get married and have multiple children. Luckily my own parents somehow managed to raise me right in spite of the indoctrination, and when I went to college I realized both that I could choose and that I didn’t want kids.
After my partner and I had been together for 15 years or so, we started seriously rethinking being child free. It was something we decided to do together. My kid is now about to turn 9. I adore him and love spending time with him. I still don’t much like other children and I never considered going through pregnancy again. My partner and I have talked about potentially fostering or adopting if we manage to retire early, but I’m content either way.
No. Not even close to financially stable as a college student in his mid-20s.
Also, if I did want kids, I think I’d rather adopt than bring a child into a world that is dying and end up not being able to ensure they have a future that doesn’t end in apocalypse.
My first kid is almost 3 and we have another on the way. It is so fucking draining and so fucking awesome. My wife and I joke about what the hell we did in our free time before our daughter. We both have careers and hobbies so it’s not like we were bored, but it is so much fucking fun having a kid. We would definitely kill for some more free time, but highly recommend it. Also, if you decide to have kids, it’s not very difficult, it’s just a lot of work.
Kids fill you to the brim with love, and drain you of everything else.
I’m probably the only person i know irl that wants to have kids. Every one of my colleagues is rather against it, and i totally understand them. Economic difficulties, environmental protection, …
Yet i do feel like having kids would be nice. I’d definitely love them. That’s all i need to know.
Not really, but I guess I’m stuck with them. ;)
I didn’t want kids for the entirety of my twenties. I’ve been with my partner since we were 21 and she wasn’t keen on kids for that whole period either. We got married at 30 and it wasn’t long before we both felt like kids was something we wanted.
She is currently 35 weeks pregnant and we are both super excited about the impending birth of our daughter.
We have the occasional “Oh shit! What have we done.” But mostly we can’t wait to watch her grow and teach her about the world and do exciting things with her.
We know it’s going to be a huge change but we are very stable in our lives and the time is right for it. We are both really good at supporting each other by now so we know we can cope with change together.
As fucked up as his ex wife’s request may be, if you’re indifferent that’s reason enough not to.
I don’t want kids. I can’t even take good enough care of myself and basic household upkeep. Adding the stress and cost and limitations that come with having a kid are just non-starters. That and I just don’t feel any need or want in the first place.
That said, if I could actually have a real biological child with my same-sex husband and the question wasn’t purely hypothetical, I’d have to think about it some more.
Or maybe if the universe threw a homeless queer teen at us who had nowhere else to go, maybe I’d consider adopting, maybe. But adopting an actual child or infant is a real tough sell, even if I would ideologically prefer that to having an actual biologically hacked together two-dads kid
I would probably only have one or two kids. I think it is beautiful to bring someone into the world and teach them the good and the bad of it. But I won’t have more kids than two because it would be unfair to bring more children into a world that is quite literally burning. If I get kids, I teach them to appreciate existence but to leave the planet should the travel to and habitation of Mars become viable.
Removed by mod
No, I don’t think I can be on-call 24/7 for years
