Will to live
Every time I brush my teeth, they glow in the dark for the next 24 hours
I gets 1 trillion USD worth of gold bricks, clear of all legal requirements.
I can instantly convert roads into corresponding rail transit lines. Highways to heavy rail, city arterials to light rail, sub arterials to grams, and interstates to high speed rail, etc.
Have my nose grow every time I lie
impeccable social skills
I can shit at will
Mind reading
It turns out nobody really thinks often enough for you to get any information
Twist: everyone is P-zombies but you! The Solipsists were right!
deleted by creator
In exchange, all of your thoughts are broadcasted onto an account on every social media, no matter how small, with your name attached to it.
You can’t turn it off or filter out any thoughts and are lost in a cacophony of thoughts bombarding you every second from evey living thing. Even isolation isnt a relief as the animals and insects asail you with their primitive instinctual thoughts.
Came looking for copper but found gold. Great write-up.
Antarctica here I come!
You arrive to desolate and wonderfully silent Antarctica.
For a time you are alone and happy in your isolation. Soon enough, thoughts start to slowly infiltrate your sleep and later your waking world. You can’t understand them. They are weird and very distressing. Over time you are having difficulty thinking clearly. You want to run but you cannot. You want to scream but you cannot for the thoughts are so upsetting. Your days and nights are spent in abject terror as you feel your mind slipping. Your essential nature being pulled away from you. Even more frightening is that you are starting to understand and interpret images, thoughts, and ideas, but they are so… Alien.
From the aliens.
The aliens that long ago crashed here on earth. To keep themselves alive they merged themselves with their spacecraft in an unholy combination of life and technology. They have been trapped by time, buried under the ice, waiting. Slowly the machine intelligence has been corrupted, the living minds fractured and the remaining combined intelligence is insane, mavolent, and hungry for new thoughts and ideas. Your mind is but the first. Your arrival has awoken them from a deep slumber. The ice that has kept them from humanity is melting.
You, (are you a individual any longer?) hunger with them for thoughts that are not your own.
You’re extra sensitive to reading the minds of non-human animals and can’t turn it off. All the time. Forever.
spoiler
It works, but there is nothing to read. Enjoy your solipsism!
When you read someone’s mind you involuntarily blurt out everything you read.
Crowded subway station = fun times!
I think that’s a syndrome
All thoughts are formatted in .docx
All thoughts are deposited on a random storage medium and format. So you might receive a 3.5" cassette formatted with ZFS or a flashdrive that must be read by laser refraction (like a DVD)
Whenever you do it, the fact you’re reading someone’s mind is announced loudly in their mind and in the minds of anyone nearby.
I have a remote control for time.
The ability to control all matter at the subatomic level.
The ability to the cat
Super strength
It’s extremely difficult to control - even grazing an object the wrong way with your finger can end up breaking it into pieces. Giving someone a hug can easily end with you covered in blood from the person you just split in two.
Going to the toilet propells the shit straight through the toilet.
There’s an episode of Justice League where Superman goes at it with Darkseid. Supes says that he always has to be careful and that the whole world is like cardboard to him, so this is the first time he can really let go.
So, you can’t pick up a coffee cup or touch anyone without worrying about destroying something.
Also, you aren’t invulnerable so if you punch a wall you’ll still break your hands.
Also, you aren’t invulnerable so if you punch a wall you’ll still break your hands.
This is an interesting side effect.
- Every time they sneeze they break multiple bones.
- If you push too hard during pooping you’ll blow out your ass and/or cause internal organ damage.
- Chewing could easily crush your teeth and break your jaw
- If a guy, don’t even think about masturbation. If you do manage it with the use of a device independent of your super strength, the ejaculation would still shoot out of you like a rail gun, destroying anything in its path and blowing out your penis.
The list can go on and on. That power is a fucking nightmare.
https://temp.larryniven.net/?q=man-of-steel-woman-of-kleenex-by-larry-niven
tl, dr a scientist looks at Superman’s love life. It’s not a pretty picture.
Reading this makes me want to trigger Nivenyrral’s disk…
deleted by creator
The minimum force you can output is now around 500 Newtons
You fart continuously while using it.
Probably the most realistic of the side effects
Every single (non-human) animal is friendly to me.
Bullet poops
You can also solve world hunger
Nutsack strays
You’re full of gunpowder
the bullets fire whether your sphincter is open or not
Every time you sneeze you ruin a perfectly good pair of pants/underwear.
When a lemmy user responds to me with a side effect, I can, by choice, reflect or absorb said side effect
