I’m a psych nurse now and have been personally hospitalized 4 times and have had over 300 hours of outpatient therapy, but I’m not actually sure what your specific questions are. Here’s some example ones but you’re free to ask more if you like. (also this is my night of and I’m a bit schwasted so this is gonna be slightly stream-of-consciousness).
Are you asking for the nuts and bolts of how to get it done with the highest likelihood of actually getting your loved one help without getting them shot by the cops? No idea. This is highly dependent on what resources are available in your specific area, what criteria they use to triage the needs of the people they serve, and the local legal system, both as it’s engrained in law and how that law is typically interpreted/used. The best way to find out more about this is to join a support group for family/loved ones of people with mental illnesses in your area. Even if you go to a zoom or other virtual support group, try really hard to find something very local. People who have been doing this in your area for years are going to know waaaaay more about the nuts and bolts of this situation than some internet rando who doesn’t know shit about the specific place you live in. Therapy for you is also a great option if that’s accessible to you.
Will being hospitalized traumatize your loved one: almost definitely. Even when it’s completely necessary it sucks, and honestly the more it’s needed the more it sucks. At best, it’s soul-crushingly boring. The worst depends on where you live and which things that area considers “human rights,” as well as the overall quality of the specific facility and the overall acuity/severity of the mental health crisis in your area. I was happy to work for a place that I considered decent quality for a while, but things have been degrading for a bit now and I’m on the hunt for greener pastures. I also work probably one step below what would be considered a “psychiatric ICU” in that I have some very sick patients who often require some very intensive and invasive care. A couple nights ago my coworkers had to forcibly get shit and piss covered clothes off a patient because a) the acidity was starting to burn/dissolve their skin and b) they wouldn’t willingly stay in their room and we can’t legally lock them in, but it’s also not fair to the other patients for them to spread their shit and piss all over the communal areas. And that’s not even unusual. We’ll probably have to do it with an entirely different patient within the next month. I really hope your loved one does not require that level of care, but if they do, there’s very little I can do to keep it from traumatizing them, and I have a bunch of education and experience specific to this area.
Will this damage my relationship with my loved one? again, almost definitely. You will need to decide if you think the possible benefit is worth being the bad guy in your loved one’s story. I’m the bad guy in a lot of people’s stories; some people just need them for what they’ve been through to make sense. I do my best to form that helping relationship, or get it back when I lose it, but sometimes it’s just not possible and if I’m given a choice between being liked versus every employee and patient on the unit getting through the night safely, I’m taking option 2. The difference is I usually don’t have to see the person again or even interact with anyone they know or who knows them. The patient gets to remember me as that awful bitch who drugged them and stole their shit covered clothes (even if we did give them back after washing and a spare set to wear in the meantime) and never have to even look at me again. If they do see me again, it’ll probably be purely within the context of them being acutely ill and they’ll still be able to leave me behind again and go make the best of their life outside the hospital. Having a loved one be the bad guy, or to be the bad guy to your own loved one, is an entirely different animal.
But is there any way I can talk them into this willingly? maaaaaaaybe. And if there is, the only person who would know is probably you, or someone who’s even closer to them if that person exists. I don’t know your loved one from Adam, so I don’t know what motivates them or what’s important to them. If I talked to them personally and at length I could probably make some educated guesses, but if there’s something important enough to them to confront this issue the way they would actually need to to recover fully, you’re the one who probably knows what it is. Those support group people or a therapist may be able to help you phrase it better.
I’m a psych nurse now and have been personally hospitalized 4 times and have had over 300 hours of outpatient therapy, but I’m not actually sure what your specific questions are. Here’s some example ones but you’re free to ask more if you like. (also this is my night of and I’m a bit schwasted so this is gonna be slightly stream-of-consciousness).
Are you asking for the nuts and bolts of how to get it done with the highest likelihood of actually getting your loved one help without getting them shot by the cops? No idea. This is highly dependent on what resources are available in your specific area, what criteria they use to triage the needs of the people they serve, and the local legal system, both as it’s engrained in law and how that law is typically interpreted/used. The best way to find out more about this is to join a support group for family/loved ones of people with mental illnesses in your area. Even if you go to a zoom or other virtual support group, try really hard to find something very local. People who have been doing this in your area for years are going to know waaaaay more about the nuts and bolts of this situation than some internet rando who doesn’t know shit about the specific place you live in. Therapy for you is also a great option if that’s accessible to you.
Will being hospitalized traumatize your loved one: almost definitely. Even when it’s completely necessary it sucks, and honestly the more it’s needed the more it sucks. At best, it’s soul-crushingly boring. The worst depends on where you live and which things that area considers “human rights,” as well as the overall quality of the specific facility and the overall acuity/severity of the mental health crisis in your area. I was happy to work for a place that I considered decent quality for a while, but things have been degrading for a bit now and I’m on the hunt for greener pastures. I also work probably one step below what would be considered a “psychiatric ICU” in that I have some very sick patients who often require some very intensive and invasive care. A couple nights ago my coworkers had to forcibly get shit and piss covered clothes off a patient because a) the acidity was starting to burn/dissolve their skin and b) they wouldn’t willingly stay in their room and we can’t legally lock them in, but it’s also not fair to the other patients for them to spread their shit and piss all over the communal areas. And that’s not even unusual. We’ll probably have to do it with an entirely different patient within the next month. I really hope your loved one does not require that level of care, but if they do, there’s very little I can do to keep it from traumatizing them, and I have a bunch of education and experience specific to this area.
Will this damage my relationship with my loved one? again, almost definitely. You will need to decide if you think the possible benefit is worth being the bad guy in your loved one’s story. I’m the bad guy in a lot of people’s stories; some people just need them for what they’ve been through to make sense. I do my best to form that helping relationship, or get it back when I lose it, but sometimes it’s just not possible and if I’m given a choice between being liked versus every employee and patient on the unit getting through the night safely, I’m taking option 2. The difference is I usually don’t have to see the person again or even interact with anyone they know or who knows them. The patient gets to remember me as that awful bitch who drugged them and stole their shit covered clothes (even if we did give them back after washing and a spare set to wear in the meantime) and never have to even look at me again. If they do see me again, it’ll probably be purely within the context of them being acutely ill and they’ll still be able to leave me behind again and go make the best of their life outside the hospital. Having a loved one be the bad guy, or to be the bad guy to your own loved one, is an entirely different animal.
But is there any way I can talk them into this willingly? maaaaaaaybe. And if there is, the only person who would know is probably you, or someone who’s even closer to them if that person exists. I don’t know your loved one from Adam, so I don’t know what motivates them or what’s important to them. If I talked to them personally and at length I could probably make some educated guesses, but if there’s something important enough to them to confront this issue the way they would actually need to to recover fully, you’re the one who probably knows what it is. Those support group people or a therapist may be able to help you phrase it better.