Let’s have a lunch and learn!
One company I worked for decided it was a good idea to name a bunch of firings due to performance “Project Panda” 🤦
I don’t mind lunch and learns. I get overtime for that, AND they buy me lunch. I’m either stuck near the office for an unproductive hour I don’t get paid for, or at my desk working on the same shit I was earlier for an extra hour.
But all the bullshit buzzwords attempting to paint employees standing up for themselves as bad things are obnoxious as hell: quiet quitting and the like
Yeah… bring your own sack lunch and it’s “voluntary”, so no OT. That the lunch and learn I’m familiar with anyway.
That’s them half assing it, not a knock on the actual thing.
I heard “rightsizing” for the first time last year.
I have no idea what knucklehead PR dumbass came up with that but it made the following layoffs even more unpalatable.
The only time I hear rightsizing is for cloud resources. I’ve never heard of it in human resources. That sucks.
There are many but I find “let’s double-click on that” particularly grating
I’ve never heard that one. What does that mean?
It means let’s take a closer look at a problem or project. Sounds like a Microsoftism
Cheers. I might use that one next time I’m in a meeting with the BAs haha
I always reply with, “Or we could right-click on that to see our options”.
“I already three-finger-swiped down to minimize, sorry.”
game changer… also any other sports reference…
Drill down
Any mention of “family” and I’m out. You aren’t my fucking family. I barely tolerate any of you, and I only go that far because I am forced to participate in this bullshit just so I can feed and shelter myself. Just give me my project, shut your dick sheath, and let me grind my life away in silence.
On a totally unrelated note, “team player”.
We’re going to hyperconverge our core past the edge node and clear out to the cloud!
Any talk of “we” from the boss really means “you”. It’s exceptionally maddening when the boss is already a POS who has an A+ for delegation but F- for teamwork and care factor.
I can’t read this shit on the weekend you guys are killing me :p
“going forward.”
Yeah, “from now on” worked fine there Phill.
Lessons learned
Collaborator instead of employee. That’s a usage that has spread through every company in French. It’s infuriating how it.she just plain lying.
“Good catch!”
Usually said when you bring up something that needs fixing, and said as a way to puff you up and not actually follow up on the problem.
“Good catch!”
We ‘nice catch’ each other all day. We celebrate when people find dumb shit, especially when it’s our dumb shit. We positively reinforce that natural code review and checking one another in the name of safety.
But I work with a bunch of pros on some private-possum shit, and that’s culture they’ve preserved from before the 2005 dark ages began. If you don’t know what positive reinforcement sounds like, I get it. Learning’s fun.
If you don’t know what positive reinforcement sounds like, I get it.
No, no. It’s words that sound like positive reenforcement be repurposed by people who don’t want to deal with it
“pAiN pOiNtS”
these are not knots in muscles they are severe institutional shortcomings and failings that are draining us all, making us want to jump ship, hazardous, and in some cases even making the company lose profit but you fuckheads just want to write down pAiN pOiNtS and jerk yourselves and the shareholders off instead of actually doing ANYTHING MEANINGFUL
